Less than 7 days. I’m nervous and excited for this to end

[Saddaisy]

so I have 7 days left. I have all my supplies except one thing which I'll get tomorrow or Monday. I'll probably get the big thing tomorrow and work on getting back ups of everything else the next few days.

I want it to be know that the reason I did this was
1. My chronic disease that caused my pos partner to stop loving me

2. him twisting the knife even more and cheating on me with the trashiest most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

how can I make sure it gets out that he's the main cause of my death? I want his life ruined like he ruined mine.

if only he was a decent human and loved me even though I got sick I would have waited and died peacefully in a country that allows dr assisted suicide, but I have no desire to go on without someone supporting me like he swore he would do the day I was diagnosed.

oh well I'm thinking about sending a time delayed email to my family, his family, everyone we both known.
Im going to spell out everything he did and name the hoe is cheated on me with.

Any other ideas of how to ruin his life is appreciated.

 

[fred farkle]

get better and get a hot guy?

 

[Saddaisy]

No cure for what I have and I'll die before I live with the end stage of this and I have a hot guy. He just doesn't love me bc of this. And I don't care to start over. Life isn't a
rainbows. I'm good I meet Gavin rossdale, saw all my favorite bands in 2019 and once had someone who loved me.
Part of me wonders if it would be better to go with the legal dr assisted method I'm signed up for but corona makes traveling iffy:.:

So I'm going with my method.

No cure for what I have and I'll die before I live with the end stage of this and I have a hot guy. He just doesn't love me bc of this. And I don't care to start over. Life isn't a
rainbows. I'm good I meet Gavin rossdale, saw all my favorite bands in 2019 and once had someone who loved me.
Part of me wonders if it would be better to go with the legal dr assisted method I'm signed up for but corona makes traveling iffy:.:

So I'm going with my method.

Traveling as In out of the country:.. not driving across the country

 

[Noriv159]

Very confident. Wish you could take me with you.

 

[Kyanite]

so I have 7 days left. I have all my supplies except one thing which I'll get tomorrow or Monday. I'll probably get the big thing tomorrow and work on getting back ups of everything else the next few days.

I want it to be know that the reason I did this was
1. My chronic disease that caused my pos partner to stop loving me

2. him twisting the knife even more and cheating on me with the trashiest most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

how can I make sure it gets out that he's the main cause of my death? I want his life ruined like he ruined mine.

if only he was a decent human and loved me even though I got sick I would have waited and died peacefully in a country that allows dr assisted suicide, but I have no desire to go on without someone supporting me like he swore he would do the day I was diagnosed.

oh well I'm thinking about sending a time delayed email to my family, his family, everyone we both known.
Im going to spell out everything he did and name the hoe is cheated on me with.

Any other ideas of how to ruin his life is appreciated.

I hope you find peace .
I'm sorry your partner is so cruel. I know how much it really sucks when the people you trust screw you over.

 

[Ragtime piano]

so I have 7 days left. I have all my supplies except one thing which I'll get tomorrow or Monday. I'll probably get the big thing tomorrow and work on getting back ups of everything else the next few days.

I want it to be know that the reason I did this was
1. My chronic disease that caused my pos partner to stop loving me

2. him twisting the knife even more and cheating on me with the trashiest most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

how can I make sure it gets out that he's the main cause of my death? I want his life ruined like he ruined mine.

if only he was a decent human and loved me even though I got sick I would have waited and died peacefully in a country that allows dr assisted suicide, but I have no desire to go on without someone supporting me like he swore he would do the day I was diagnosed.

oh well I'm thinking about sending a time delayed email to my family, his family, everyone we both known.
Im going to spell out everything he did and name the hoe is cheated on me with.

Any other ideas of how to

so I have 7 days left. I have all my supplies except one thing which I'll get tomorrow or Monday. I'll probably get the big thing tomorrow and work on getting back ups of everything else the next few days.

I want it to be know that the reason I did this was
1. My chronic disease that caused my pos partner to stop loving me

2. him twisting the knife even more and cheating on me with the trashiest most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

how can I make sure it gets out that he's the main cause of my death? I want his life ruined like he ruined mine.

if only he was a decent human and loved me even though I got sick I would have waited and died peacefully in a country that allows dr assisted suicide, but I have no desire to go on without someone supporting me like he swore he would do the day I was diagnosed.

oh well I'm thinking about sending a time delayed email to my family, his family, everyone we both known.
Im going to spell out everything he did and name the hoe is cheated on me with.

Any other ideas of how to ruin his life is appreciated.

Saddaisy if retribution is called for then the Universe will sort it out . don't give yourself extra stress by worrying about how to ruin his life. I know what it's like to be let down - a former spouse ran out on me with a more exciting prospect. Going against every instinct I played the nice guy. Hell, I even sent the pair of them Christmas cards - which believe me freaked my ex and my replacement out far more effectively than if I had gone out for revenge. I can't offer any cure for your physical illness but if I had, say, inoperable cancer and the chance to fly to Switzerland to avoid an undignified and painful end I would catch that plane.

 

[Saddaisy]

I don't have cancer.my disease isn't something that will kill me, but I 100% would rather die than live with this. I've been in talks with Switzerland and it's almost 6 months of a wait. And that's if I get approved and since as of now I'm not having any issues from my disease the wait could be longer.

my method will be peaceful. I have almost everything I think I need. I just need a few back up supplies in case something messes up.

I see it this way. I'm going to die anyway (very soon) might as well make sure that pos suffers. You don't swear to love someone forever and then cheat on them with a completely nasty person. So dying early is my gift to myself. 6 days...

I'm going to email a note to my friend on the day. (Time delayed so I can stop it it something goes wrong). It will be a thank you to everyone here who listened to me.

i feel like there's so much more I should do, but I've written all my notes and I've tried so hard to accept what he did, but everyday I am more and more miserable and I just want it to end.

 

[DrWh033]

If you don't mind me asking what is the condition you are suffering from?

 

[justsad&done]

I'm so sorry for your suffering and for all of the unfairness that has come your way.

 

[Tired_Tired]

You will never ruined his life, only your life. That's why you join SS and just want to finish all your suffering ASAP. Life is unfair and human nature are evil. This is my point of view.

 

[Meditation guide]

might as well make sure that pos suffers.

I'm so sorry the bastard did that to you. If he is as you say he is, it may not affect him to the extent you think it will. And as a pos is he really worth it?

 

[Pookie]

I don't have cancer.my disease isn't something that will kill me, but I 100% would rather die than live with this. I've been in talks with Switzerland and it's almost 6 months of a wait. And that's if I get approved and since as of now I'm not having any issues from my disease the wait could be longer.

my method will be peaceful. I have almost everything I think I need. I just need a few back up supplies in case something messes up.

I see it this way. I'm going to die anyway (very soon) might as well make sure that pos suffers. You don't swear to love someone forever and then cheat on them with a completely nasty person. So dying early is my gift to myself. 6 days...

I'm going to email a note to my friend on the day. (Time delayed so I can stop it it something goes wrong). It will be a thank you to everyone here who listened to me.

i feel like there's so much more I should do, but I've written all my notes and I've tried so hard to accept what he did, but everyday I am more and more miserable and I just want it to end.

6 months! That's a long time. Is this Dignitas you're talking about?

 

[Saddaisy]

The way I see it I will ruin his life. His family adores me and they'll never forgive him. It's highly likely one of my super conservative family members might pay him a visit. And everyone who knows him will know he cheated on me and stopped loving me bc of a condition I didn't ask for and wished I was dead bc of.
And yep it's dignitis. I messaged them and asked the wait time. They said from applying to the actual date for a non terminal illness it's around 6 months.
Corona is making things harder for them I think.

I can't live in this pain for 6 months. I'm barely going to make it 6 days. I'm at peace knowing this time next week I'll be gone. I do feel a little bad bc my boss is going on vacation and asked me to make sure everything goes ok until she gets back

but it's not like I can say no blah blah I can't do that because I've slowly been stealing supplies from here for the past 2 months so I can kill myself once I have everything perfect. So theres that but.... what can you do.

 

[Pookie]

The way I see it I will ruin his life. His family adores me and they'll never forgive him. It's highly likely one of my super conservative family members might pay him a visit. And everyone who knows him will know he cheated on me and stopped loving me bc of a condition I didn't ask for and wished I was dead bc of.
And yep it's dignitis. I messaged them and asked the wait time. They said from applying to the actual date for a non terminal illness it's around 6 months.
Corona is making things harder for them I think.

I can't live in this pain for 6 months. I'm barely going to make it 6 days. I'm at peace knowing this time next week I'll be gone. I do feel a little bad bc my boss is going on vacation and asked me to make sure everything goes ok until she gets back

but it's not like I can say no blah blah I can't do that because I've slowly been stealing supplies from here for the past 2 months so I can kill myself once I have everything perfect. So theres that but.... what can you do.

That's understandable, 6 months is a long time to wait when you're suffering from an illness. This Corona virus crap has messed everything up. N is a good way to go but 6 months is too long. I hope you've found a relatively peaceful method seeing that you can't go to Dignitas?

 

[140 bpm]

I'm really sorry for you and situation you've got into. I totally understand what's anger is, and how rough it can drive you to the edge. I had really sharp knifes been stabbed in my back some times ago. From my gf, from my business partners and from my friends as well. A lot of things matched in a short period of time, so it literally drove me off my rails. I was running for revenge so fast, I was desiring to hurt some people so bad... I just didn't notice how all that destroyed me and my personality. And at the end of the day I've lost everything and everybody. Just ashes from my life. Now, when I'm turning back, I see, that the best way in whole thing was just simply don't do anything. Just let the shit go. I know it sounds ridiculous. It sounds unacceptable. It took me a year to calm down and realize it. All my best freinds were telling me that, but I know, it's impossible to get it. Like, really to get it. That shit needs time. And a lot of work. And pain.

And of course, I'm not on your place, and I'm different person and especially I don't have chronic disease, so I can't understand physical pain you have. You know better how you feel and what you need. But if you want to hear my 5 cents, I think it can be such a nice trip to Switzerland at some point, you know. Just have a little last travel, taste some different food, enjoy beautiful nature, see another culture. Like make everything set up and nice. Instead of being found by a local cop in your apartment. And you always can shoot a text to that piece of shit with your selfie from Alps.
I wish the best for you, in any case and any decision you'll make.

 

[Canon1]

so I have 7 days left. I have all my supplies except one thing which I'll get tomorrow or Monday. I'll probably get the big thing tomorrow and work on getting back ups of everything else the next few days.

I want it to be know that the reason I did this was
1. My chronic disease that caused my pos partner to stop loving me

2. him twisting the knife even more and cheating on me with the trashiest most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

how can I make sure it gets out that he's the main cause of my death? I want his life ruined like he ruined mine.

if only he was a decent human and loved me even though I got sick I would have waited and died peacefully in a country that allows dr assisted suicide, but I have no desire to go on without someone supporting me like he swore he would do the day I was diagnosed.

oh well I'm thinking about sending a time delayed email to my family, his family, everyone we both known.
Im going to spell out everything he did and name the hoe is cheated on me with.

Any other ideas of how to ruin his life is appreciated.

Sorry for your pain but to kill yourself because one human cheated on you is damn stupid. There are like billions of people and they all cheat and do whatever they want to do. Don't get stuck in this ridiculous and unreal imagination of my partner has to love just me the whole life and so on. Moreover when you kill yourself nothing will basically change for him. Live your own life.

And why should he suffer because he doesn't want you? He is not your possess nor are you someone's possess.

Sorry but this is just ridiculous and you behave with emotions not reason.

Speaking of your illness, this is more understandable but think about it. Give yourself some time if possible.

 

[Neowise]

@Saddaisy I'm really sorry you are in this situation, what he did to you was stupid. In an earlier post you revealed that you were a couple for 18 years. I can imagine the pain you must be going through, especially after sucha long time.

I personally don't think it is worth to kill oneself over an ex partner. If he treated you like garbage then he doesn't deserve you. There is better people out there that will accept you and your disease and love you for who you are. And please don't think it is your fault that an asshole went for someone else. Assholes are assholes, you have nothing to do with it! If you had 18 good years then maybe it's best to appreciate the good time you had and look forward. I know that's difficult and maybe not what you want or can do, but it's what you should do.

I saw that the first time you talked about this was in May so it happened some time ago already and you have been wanting to die since then. If that is really what you crave then I wish you an enjoyable last week and a peaceful journey, hope you find the relief you are looking for. And if you want to talk, we are all here for you.

 

[Saddaisy]

It's not ridiculous to kill myself bc of what he did. I told him the day I was diagnosed I wanted to break up bc he would resent me and he deserved a normal life. He told me he didn't care about that and only needed me.

I'm not going to start over and find someone else. He makesless than I do so he'll struggle financially since all the discounts we get are from me. Anyway I'll write a longer response tomorrow with my note to jerk face. I'm going to take a bunch of sleeping pills and pass out
Yes this started back in March
Corona happened and everything was put on hold

 

[DrWh033]

It's not ridiculous to kill myself bc of what he did. I told him the day I was diagnosed I wanted to break up bc he would resent me and he deserved a normal life. He told me he didn't care about that and only needed me.

I'm not going to start over and find someone else. He makesless than I do so he'll struggle financially since all the discounts we get are from me. Anyway I'll write a longer response tomorrow with my note to jerk face. I'm going to take a bunch of sleeping pills and pass out
Yes this started back in March
Corona happened and everything was put on hold

What is your diagnosis?

 

[Canon1]

Listen! It seems that you don't read our posts well.

You are not the first and the last person on this planet who gets cheated by someone.

This is absolutely normal and occurs all the time. Even after 30 years or longer people break up.

Again, he is not your possess. He can do whatever he wants to do because he is not obliged to anything. Words like I love you are senseless mouth noises. Don't expect others to love you all your life.

All this shit happened to myself and I also wanted to kill me at first but after a while I could deal with it and behave reasonably.

You seem to be full of revenge feelings. These will bring you nowhere.

 

[Mixo]

Is illness ultimately your reason for going?

 

[Saddaisy]

I'm really just considering locking myself in the bathroom and dropping a toaster in there. I want to die and I'm so sick of being in this pain. I know it's only 3 days until I'm gone but I can't deal with this misery. I could just lock myself in there tonight and do what I planned on the 1. Not like pos would even notice I'm locked in there

 

[Steamm]

OD wont kill you btw.

 

[AutoTap]

Choice of method?

 

[x~Sophia~x]

It's not ridiculous to kill myself bc of what he did. I told him the day I was diagnosed I wanted to break up bc he would resent me and he deserved a normal life. He told me he didn't care about that and only needed me.

I'm not going to start over and find someone else. He makesless than I do so he'll struggle financially since all the discounts we get are from me. Anyway I'll write a longer response tomorrow with my note to jerk face. I'm going to take a bunch of sleeping pills and pass out
Yes this started back in March
Corona happened and everything was put on hold

I know of loads of people in relationships who declare undying love for their partners, and then fall in love with someone else. That's life, and the majority of us have either been through it, or have been the ones who have fallen for someone else.
You're not the first, and you won't be the last, that's for sure.
I think you need to grow up, and realise that sometimes, regardless of illness, people sometimes just fall in love with someone else...
Very sad, but the majority of us here have experienced it, and moved on.
Kill yourself by all means, if that's your decision, but I suspect your ex will move on, and so will his partner, your death won't effect them whatsoever.

 

[Meditation guide]

. I know it's only 3 days until I'm gone but I can't deal with this misery.

Someday you will look back and see a current photo of that guy and say to yourself what the hell was I thinking? He looks horrible! Thank God I didn't ctb over this creep. It's impossible to imagine now but I promise you, that is what will happen. No matter how much it hurts now, you can't see him as he is.

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

And this is why those of us who genuinely need to CTB receive so much stigma and hurdles to choosing a peaceful passing.
CTB should not be done in revenge or spite of others! So many suffer incomprehensibly that they choose not to continue living, why the hell would you want to cause more upset than is needed in any death by hoping to cause someone issues after you're gone.
Damn, the only reason I keep going through my pain is cause I don't want to hurt those I leave, even my ex who didn't stick by me through all my shit... yeah it's happened to us all but no way would I blame him for my death even if whether his presence in my life or not is a factor.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

And this is why those of us who genuinely need to CTB receive so much stigma and hurdles to choosing a peaceful passing.
CTB should not be done in revenge or spite of others! So many suffer incomprehensibly that they choose not to continue living, why the hell would you want to cause more upset than is needed in any death by hoping to cause someone issues after you're gone.
Damn, the only reason I keep going through my pain is cause I don't want to hurt those I leave, even my ex who didn't stick by me through all my shit... yeah it's happened to us all but no way would I blame him for my death even if whether his presence in my life or not is a factor or not.

Thank you @LittleBabyNothing you speak so much sense. I just hope @Saddaisy will take notice, because nobody seems to be trying to talk her out of ending her life.

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

Thank you @LittleBabyNothing you speak so much sense. I just hope @Saddaisy will take notice, because nobody seems to be trying to talk her out of ending her life.

The OP seems to be very selective in which replies they respond to. May be why not as many are reaching out.

To the OP, please don't act on impulse or in spite of someone else. You are worth more than that, even if your suffering is so much you choose to CTB do it for you in your own time. Till then we are here to listen

 

[Ragtime piano]

Saddaisy people here care about you even if we are not with you in person. I understand that you are in emotional pain - maybe some physical pain you - but I believe this is not your time. if you truly want your ex to regret his choices then the best way is to live and let him see that you are better without him. Love and peace to you