iftheworldwasending

iftheworldwasending

My prayer is that when I die, all of hell rejoice.
Sep 26, 2020
131
how do y'all deal with that thought? i'm trying to think forward for planning and i'm feeling drawn to waiting till after Christmas, as to not ruin the holiday for my mom.
curious how everyone else feels about it.

<3
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
It doesn't bother me but that's because I hold a lot of animosity towards them. They shouldn't be surprised by this in the slightest
 
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G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,017
I would have no problem leaving adult family members behind. People die everyday and it's part of life. I feel bad leaving kids.
 
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Insertname1

Insertname1

Student
Sep 21, 2020
188
Don't really care, ive distanced myself from them for quite a while coz I dont like talking to people.family included.
 
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_Kaira_

_Kaira_

This Isn't Fine
Oct 2, 2020
826
My family and I...always had a very strained relationship, needless to say. I think about it, yes, do I worry if it'll affect them at all? Not really. They're not the ones I am concerned about.
 
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Dark Spring

Dark Spring

Sobreviviendo
Sep 29, 2020
116
If you are really affected by how they might feel about your decision, you can leave them a note or something explaining your decision and that you didn't want to make them feel bad. Personally I feel bad for my brothers, my dogs and my boyfriend, I love them and they don't deserve to be bad and I don't think they would understand why I made this decision
 
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AJ95

AJ95

24/7 sylvia plath
Sep 3, 2020
478
how do y'all deal with that thought? i'm trying to think forward for planning and i'm feeling drawn to waiting till after Christmas, as to not ruin the holiday for my mom.
curious how everyone else feels about it.

<3
I struggle with it as well, I'm planning on October 31st so that's it's between birthdays and far enough from Christmas that hopefully my death is not as fresh :(

I will miss them though, I love my family
 
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nitroautnz

nitroautnz

Specialist
Sep 11, 2020
361
I have the same problems and ask a question about it. But you don't have any right answer, You will always hurt the people you left behind. You can try to ease their pain, but that all. We need to make peace with this. I accepted that I will hurt my family but i will still write letter or record message. Make sure i dont leave this planet leaving a mess behind me like a pile of bills etc ..
Im waiting for after the 1 december as I have 3 family birthday before. I dont want to be alive for chrismas, it may ruin it, but in the same time it will never be the right time to ctb if i keep finding reason to wait.
 
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Insertname1

Insertname1

Student
Sep 21, 2020
188
I didnt open my mums message for like 3 weeks, then she text me again asking if everything's OK and that I dont talk anymore and I just said "yes" and that was it, no reply since. I rarely speak to my brother or see him even though we live together coz I lock myself away in my room, and I dont ever see friends coz I get anxiety going outside. So slowly cutting people off so its not as bad for them I guess
 
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Stick

Stick

Experienced
Aug 31, 2020
269
I think it's sweet that your waiting, but I think that the first of every holiday will be different after a death. I've done my worrying about it, and I feel like I know that I'm doing my best for them and it's all I can do.
 
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_Kaira_

_Kaira_

This Isn't Fine
Oct 2, 2020
826
There isn't any right time to CTB. You simply just follow through with it, if you have exhausted all other options and feel like you're ready for it. If you do care about what happens to the people you leave behind or worry about the after effects, you can only try just to do whatever you can to make their grief a little more bearable.
 
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sadworld

sadworld

existence is a nightmare
Aug 25, 2020
3,870
I don't like my family so it doesn't matter and i don't have friends or anyone else that could possibly be sad when im gone.
 
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sourpink

sourpink

Student
Aug 27, 2020
148
lol "family"? idk her.
more seriously, though, I'm not at all concerned about 'devastating my family' - not that theres anything wrong with worrying about that seriously, that's just.. not a hurdle for me. it does bother me that I have a handful of fairly great friends, and most of us are chronically ill/disabled/not well anyway so I know when I leave it'll be hard on the people I'm close to who are also struggling. but even then, I see nor desire any other feasible outcome.
 
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Futile

Futile

Tired of being lonely
Sep 3, 2020
499
I don't care about my family or anyone else really, I've always been alone in this life
 
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SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

That's the hell I live with
Apr 19, 2018
658
I'm a bit worried about leaving them.
My Mum has had her fair share of mental health problems and trauma.
She was sectioned for 5 years when I was 16. Not the first time she was sectioned, but the first that was over a few weeks.
Now, her mental health is completely under control, she has no therapy and I'm not sure if she is still on her meds.
I know she has been suicidal before, because when she was in her early twenties she got stopped at the Clifton Suspicion Bridge.
I got stopped on that bridge when I was 21.
I'm not sure if my death will send her off the deep end again.
My Dad (actually my step dad but I call him Dad) he has had depression since he was a teenager, had to go onto antidepressants when my Mum was sectioned, and his mental health is now under control.
My sister will be extremely pissed off with me. When we have talked about suicide before, she has called me selfish and how can I do that to them ect. I can't remember exactly what she said as I was around 18.
My sisters boyfriend, I'm not exactly sure how he will react.
These 4 people have known about my suicidal thoughts/urges before, a few years back and was extremely worried about me.
They don't know anything about my suicidal thoughts/urges now and think I'm completely fine.
They will never see it coming.
 
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D

dilapidatedMind

Student
Oct 1, 2020
128
It's not the holidays til November
 

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