Leaving a note for the people on your life who have hurt you

[Desdemona]

How do you guys feel about this? Is it better just to leave in peace, or are there people who you feel that should know they hurt you and were at least some part of your decision to CTB.

I wouldn't wanna traumatize anyone but also the little devil on my shoulder would push me to tell people (in this case my friends) of how much hurt they have caused me. Especially my "friends" who have been completely unsupportive with my chronic illnesses but also, I guess it's on me for having shitty friends. For context, there were other actions going back years and years that added to trauma but perhaps it's my own fault somehow and I'm just not a likable person

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

The only two people I have a slight problem with will basically get ten times the suffering that they imposed on me thrown back at them. Wish I could tone it down a bit somehow but whatever.

I won't clean my room, write a note, delayed emails or any of that shit. Just fuck around with partial until I get it right or slash a carotid, idk. Maybe survive a few years and buy a shotgun or inert gas set-up, anything can happen.

 

[hfdepression30]

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this, and it really depends on what you went through.. some people have killed themselves because of bullying and harassment, so in that case I can totally understand naming someone and holding them accountable for their actions which led to someone taking their life. If it's friends or family who have been unsupportive, I think it's important to try and identify why you think they haven't supported you enough (i.e they have a job, school, their own issues etc) and it may help you to understand whether your feelings are exaggerated because you're going through your illness or if they genuinely just haven't cared enough. I think simply noting the lack of support and friendship during your illness is enough without naming people, but again, it all depends on circumstances

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

I think I'll definitely name the persons that ruined my life since this two persons caused my injury and destroyed my life. During my time alive I haven't been able to spread info about what they did to me because they threaten me, so my suicide note is the only opportunity I have to get a bit of justice although I doubt those who read it will care about what those people did to me.

 

[Willdieby30]

the people in my life who have done that (in my life anyway) have their head so far up their asses that i would be insulting myself with making the effort to address them.

 

[A Desperate Fool]

I'm not mad at anyone but myself. I'm the person who ruined my life. It'd be easy to blame it on my wife who cheated on me and who pulled knives on me during arguments. But the truth is that she made life worth living for me. She made me look forward to tomorrow in a way I never had before and never will again. I just want to let her know that I forgive her and thank her for the good times.

 

[Bagger]

Definitely do it, fuck them and their trauma. They didn't gave a shit about yours, so don't give a damn about their's. When my time come, I will do the exactly the same. Everyone involved will know what, when and how they added their brick to my ctb. I also thought about getting even just before ctb, but I really don't want to become a killer or something. Taking my own life will be hard enough for my conscience. Leave a note, explain everything, point a finger at the guilty ones.

 

[strangeceleste]

Sometimes I do write angry suicide letters and it's very cathartic, but I know my last note will be nothing but loving because that's all they'll have left and I would hate for them to be more sad. As traumatised as I have been, I've been most betrayed by the people I love the most. But hurt people hurt people - I don't think the intent was malicious, nor have they been free of pain themselves. Also I know my brain is broken, my thought processes are irrational and my emotions are unstable, so it's not fair to blame others for how I feel. Sending love your way x

 

[GarageKarate07]

I have left many notes to multiple people describing who and what hurt me and ruined my happiness and caused all my problems. This sadness caused me to be distant and hurt other people that I didnt mean to because I was hurt and the cycle continues. Will they care? Will they read the notes? Will it matter then? I do not know. I will be gone then. My path will already be somewhere else so maybe it will matter or maybe it won't. The point for me is that I need to leave. I feel I have been here long enough (40 short years) and I have seen more than I care to in this horrible immoral world. There are good things here but the bad things got to me first and these people allowed or directly caused that to happen.

 

[fred farkle]

I think I'll definitely name the persons that ruined my life since this two persons caused my injury and destroyed my life. During my time alive I haven't been able to spread info about what they did to me because they threaten me, so my suicide note is the only opportunity I have to get a bit of justice although I doubt those who read it will care about what those people did to me.

i wish there was some way to fuck them over before you ctb!

 

[blue_muse]

Not commenting personally but I would say it depends on the circumstances and the guilty parties involved. For those who pushed the person to suicide, living with that kind of guilt and shame resonates just as much, if not more, than leaving a note.

 

[WornOutLife]

I was about to do this last year, especially to my ex classmates. I had got all the e-mails I needed but once I started writing I asked myself: "What am I doing? Will this really help?" and my conclusion was that it wouldn't. People just don't care about people and all those who hurt me are not as happy as they look. That's enough for me.

When I ctb, I won't leave this world in a resentful way. The only ones who deserve to have some "final words" from me are my family, students and you, people on SS. :)

 

[Symbiote]

I rather keep the people that hurt me in suspense and confusion for the rest of their lives. Knowing that they are narcissists would exacerbate their condition even more because I didn't mention them at all in my note. They would go crazy not being mentioned. Leaving the world via suicide and not acknowledging your abuser's existence is the ultimate revenge.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

honestly i don't think its even worth it. you will be giving them too much credit. i think it is better to just go out with some quiet dignity, but do whatever feels right

 

[BornBrief]

Sometimes I think/fantasize about what I would write to people who have hurt me and would love to say terrible things. But that in itself takes effort... and honestly... I will probably just go quietly. What satisfaction am I going to get out of it when I'm gone, anyway...

 

[GarageKarate07]

I rather keep the people that hurt me in suspense and confusion for the rest of their lives. Knowing that they are narcissists would exacerbate their condition even more because I didn't mention them at all in my note. They would go crazy not being mentioned. Leaving the world via suicide and not acknowledging your abuser's existence is the ultimate revenge.

I thought of this as well. I also thought to leave a few people a note but not my mother (the only living person who is responsible for my bad childhood) so she would know that others got letters but she shamefully would not. She can fucking eat it! But I will write her a letter explaining exactly where and how she messed me up. She is religious and I will explain that while she was too much of a coward to give me any closure or even acknowledgment here she will see me next to her God and she can explain it to him when she gets there. Although I think in a way we can wiggle out of trouble in the afterlife as well but IDK. I'm also tired and probly shouldn't be writing posts right now. FML. LOL

 

[MaybeSoon]

I've been fucked over and hurt many times but I just don't have it in me to do this. Mostly forgive everyone anyway, we're all humans and we're all fucked up and do fucked up things. I'll put all my energy into making sure the people I love know they're loved and aren't left confused. Each to their own.

 

[Desdemona]

I don't think people in my life are even that terrible. I should just get over myself. I guess I just hurt so much that I kind of want people around me to understand how much I'm suffering as well. I don't wish bad on anyone though. I hate being alive so much

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

i wish there was some way to fuck them over before you ctb!

same, I so wish!

 

[it's_all_a_game]

I was hemming & hawing over writing a list of the people who indirectly led to my death, but I decided against it. It's too vindictive and petty. I don't recommend others do it either; it's unlikely that those who abused you will be held accountable in any way (Cynical? Yes. Realistic? Absolutely.)

 

[Desdemona]

I was hemming & hawing over writing a list of the people who indirectly led to my death, but I decided against it. It's too vindictive and petty. I don't recommend others do it either; it's unlikely that those who abused you will be held accountable in any way (Cynical? Yes. Realistic? Absolutely.)

This is what I usually came to, thought wise so this feels like the right thing. The devil on my shoulder says be petty, but I know that it wouldn't be the right thing to do and wouldn't do any good at all

 

[Emilia1012]

There is a person who destroyed my life and I have to ctb now, but I believe this person didn't do it intentionally. I am not sure

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I think about this all the time. I've wrote several drafts of those letters.

I no longer care about making them feel too bad. In fact (and I know this makes me sound awful), I want them to suffer. I want them to live every day of their life knowing the pain they caused me, and feeling like my blood is on their hands. I want the worst for them.

The issue is, they didn't care about hurting me in life. I'm not sure they'll care any more about their actions once I'm dead. So, what's the point? I'm powerless.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

*I've written

Sorry… very embarrassed by my grammatical error in the previous post. Not sure how I made that mistake!