Laxative overdose is painful but this is how I will die by suicide

[FireFox]

I am addicted to over the counter laxatives called Dulcolax because I love the emotional numbness the laxatives give me and having a low weight body, my slim body is the only thing perfect in my life nothing else is. I abuse diet pills as well and restrict my eating, I can not even finish a meal.

In August 2022 I collapsed on my living room floor with no energy and the way my heart was beating it was not normal beating. Prior to the incident I took a much higher dosage of laxatives and appetite suppressants combined throughout the week.

I thought I just needed more water because there was a heatwave but the next couple of hours later I couldn't stop throwing up and the vomit was a clear liquid. I could feel my body just shutting down even walking up the stairs I found extremely difficult as I had no energy. I went to bed to sleep it off and I felt fine the next day but I was so scared I was not going to wake up. My body was so weak and i thought my heart was going to stop beating.

That was my most scariest encounter with laxatives. I admit that day I was actually terrified of death and was relieved when I was OK. My life did get better after that encounter and months later were the best months of my life. 2023 was the year everything went wrong and I finally just gave up on life. The events of 2023 has put me on the inevitable path of suicide,

I know the harm laxatives do and I don't care anymore.

 

[waterworks]

That sounds like a very slow and painful death.

 

[DoubleUp8]

That sounds like a very slow and painful death.

Also sounds like a low probability of success.

 

[KillingPain267]

2023 was likewise the year for me when I got sentenced to death (by myself).

 

[thinvy]

iirc from what I've heard through the grapevine on ED forums, what causes most laxative induced deaths is low potassium. It can cause arrhythmias and even rhabdomyolysis.
it's a painful way to die for certain, but I'm not in the place of judging people for their chosen methods often. if you think there's even a chance you'll change your mind, maybe stash a bottle of potassium supplements in your house somewhere.
either way, I wish you the best, sincerely.

 

[FireFox]

2023 was likewise the year for me when I got sentenced to death (by myself).

@KillingPain267 The events of 2023 is the reason why I am back on Sanctioned Suicide wanting and on the pathway to suicide.

In the Autumn of 2022 my life was finally coming together. I began to feel real happiness when I went travelling then weeks later coming back from my travels I managed to successfully find a higher paying job in a large corporation. Winter was soo magical. It was snowing in the UK and during my lunch break I was in the park. For the first time in my life I was looking forward to the future and finally began to see life as a beautiful thing. I had the most amazing Christmas ever I brought loads gifts for my family with my salary. I was falling in love with an older man in his 50s because he made me feel so special in a way no man has ever done.

2023 everything it all went wrong since first of January I had things constantly going wrong so many things. In January I was forced to see my toxic relatives overseas I was so miserable at the airport on New Year's Day because I loved the freedom of never seeing my relatives again during the covid19 pandemic. It was so hard seeing my relatives because none of them care about me and the only relative who did care about me died. Being in that country everything reminded me of the relative I loved so much. I have the worst relatives in the world.

I struggled at work so much in my role. My boss even cruelly mocked my immaturity and blamed me for bringing problems to the department. The older man I fell in love with cruelly played with my feelings with his mind games and lying, He messed me up so badly. He humiliated at work along with the assistance of an older woman colleague who I thought was a friend. Our boss was his friend and believed all the lies he told about me. The management saw me as an immature young woman besotted with an older man it was so humiliating.

I got fired in for underperforming. My eating disorder came back and got discovered by family. I was so determined for things

The only good thing I had that year was getting into a masters programme at one of the top 20 universities in the UK. 1 week when I was ready to collect my student ID last minute tuition fees I was forced to defer a year.

After that I finally gave up on life. Nobody understands how much getting into that university meant to me. It was the only good thing I had in my life.

Everyone else around me is settled in marriage and a career here is me with nothing going right.

 

[KillingPain267]

@KillingPain267 The events of 2023 is the reason why I am back on Sanctioned Suicide wanting and on the pathway to suicide.

In the Autumn of 2022 my life was finally coming together. I began to feel real happiness when I went travelling then weeks later coming back from my travels I managed to successfully find a higher paying job in a large corporation. Winter was soo magical. It was snowing in the UK and during my lunch break I was in the park. For the first time in my life I was looking forward to the future and finally began to see life as a beautiful thing. I had the most amazing Christmas ever I brought loads gifts for my family with my salary. I was falling in love with an older man in his 50s because he made me feel so special in a way no man has ever done.

2023 everything it all went wrong since first of January I had things constantly going wrong so many things. In January I was forced to see my toxic relatives overseas I was so miserable at the airport on New Year's Day because I loved the freedom of never seeing my relatives again during the covid19 pandemic. It was so hard seeing my relatives because none of them care about me and the only relative who did care about me died. Being in that country everything reminded me of the relative I loved so much. I have the worst relatives in the world.

I struggled at work so much in my role. My boss even cruelly mocked my immaturity and blamed me for bringing problems to the department. The older man I fell in love with cruelly played with my feelings with his mind games and lying, He messed me up so badly. He humiliated at work along with the assistance of an older woman colleague who I thought was a friend. Our boss was his friend and believed all the lies he told about me. The management saw me as an immature young woman besotted with an older man it was so humiliating.

I got fired in for underperforming. My eating disorder came back and got discovered by family. I was so determined for things

The only good thing I had that year was getting into a masters programme at one of the top 20 universities in the UK. 1 week when I was ready to collect my student ID last minute tuition fees I was forced to defer a year.

After that I finally gave up on life. Nobody understands how much getting into that university meant to me. It was the only good thing I had in my life.

Everyone else around me is settled in marriage and a career here is me with nothing going right.

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry for what you went through. So much hope, then crashing.... Similar to my story! From 2015-2022 I was in a beautiful marriage, got my degree and was hopeful for the future. Then I realized a bachelor's degree was not enough to get a job and slowly hope was ripped away. I slowly got depressed and pessimistic about humanity and the world, and eventually my spouse then left me in 2023. This was obviously the final straw for me.

 

[FireFox]

iirc from what I've heard through the grapevine on ED forums, what causes most laxative induced deaths is low potassium. It can cause arrhythmias and even rhabdomyolysis.
it's a painful way to die for certain, but I'm not in the place of judging people for their chosen methods often. if you think there's even a chance you'll change your mind, maybe stash a bottle of potassium supplements in your house somewhere.
either way, I wish you the best, sincerely.

@thinvy Thnaks. I really tried to give life another chance. 2022 at 25 years old my life was finally coming together and for the first time I was actually happy and not pretending to be anymore.

2023 it all went wrong for me. I will never have those amazing times I had in 2022 at 25 years old.

I am 27 and just tired of life. All those things that went wrong for me in 2023 is the reason why I want to die again. I went from having the best year of my life to the worst year of my life in 2023. All the events of last year has driven me to this point.

 

[Daryl72]

@thinvy Thnaks. I really tried to give life another chance. 2022 at 25 years old my life was finally coming together and for the first time I was actually happy and not pretending to be anymore.

2023 it all went wrong for me. I will never have those amazing times I had in 2022 at 25 years old.

I am 27 and just tired of life. All those things that went wrong for me in 2023 is the reason why I want to die again. I went from having the best year of my life to the worst year of my life in 2023. All the events of last year has driven me to this point.

I can relate. When everything is falling apart, and I just gave up late least year on life. Now I'm just desperate to find a way to end it. The method is the hardest part as I have no real money or access to anything that will do it for me.

 

[FireFox]

I can relate. When everything is falling apart, and I just gave up late least year on life. Now I'm just desperate to find a way to end it. The method is the hardest part as I have no real money or access to anything that will do it for me.

@Daryl72 Worst of all when I was going through all my problems last year people around me kept saying "everything happens for a reason" and how it is "part of God's plan".

It made me so annoyed because these events are the reasons why I want to kill myself and finally driven suicide. I really wanted to live but all the awful things of 2023 showed me life is not worth living. I kept fighting and fighting throughout that year and losing the one good thing that happened to me in that terrible year I finally gave up.

Getting into that university was supposed to be my fresh start from all the choas I went through the year and being forced to defer a year it just broke me. All I ask for one bit of happiness and 2023 couldn't give me that,

People in my life think I am dramatic for being depressed.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm sorry if this comes off as confrontational, or as an attack of some kind, as it's not meant to be, but now laxatives? What was wrong with all/any of the other methods you had been considering over the past several months?

 

[Daryl72]

@Daryl72 Worst of all when I was going through all my problems last year people around me kept saying "everything happens for a reason" and how it is "part of God's plan".

It made me so annoyed because these events are the reasons why I want to kill myself and finally driven suicide. I really wanted to live but all the awful things of 2023 showed me life is not worth living. I kept fighting and fighting throughout that year and losing the one good thing that happened to me in that terrible year I finally gave up.

Getting into that university was supposed to be my fresh start from all the choas I went through the year and being forced to defer a year it just broke me. All I ask for one bit of happiness and 2023 couldn't give me that,

People in my life think I am dramatic for being depressed.

I know exactly my friend I can relate.

 

[FireFox]

I know exactly my friend I can relate.

@Daryl72 Thank you, its wonderful meeting people who actually get it

 

[Daryl72]

@Daryl72 Thank you, its wonderful meeting people who actually get it

Your welcome. It's sad how many people don't believe in any mental illness whatsoever. Thue can be so hurtful with the things they say, as if we weren't suffering enough. I know how bad it can get, desking with several diagnosed illnesses and now trying to fight my way out of Agoraphobia.

 

[FireFox]

I'm sorry if this comes off as confrontational, or as an attack of some kind, as it's not meant to be, but now laxatives? What was wrong with all/any of the other methods you had been considering over the past several months?

@locked*n*loaded I just remember the day I almost died as a result of abusing laxatives the impact it had on my heart rate. It was terrifying because i didn't want to die that day.

My life is a mess and I want to go back to state I was in the day I almost died. If I keep abusing my heart rate will just stop.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Worst of all when I was going through all my problems last year people around me kept saying "everything happens for a reason" and how it is "part of God's plan".

It always weirds me out when religious people say stuff like that. I don't understand how being told that you suffering a whole bunch is just apart of God's plan is comforting in anyway. Doesn't that also just end up making your God look like an asshole, since this supposed all-loving being is going out of it's way to cause others to suffer, sometimes even in death.

 

[FireFox]

It always weirds me out when religious people say stuff like that. I don't understand how being told that you suffering a whole bunch is just apart of God's plan is comforting in anyway. Doesn't that also just end up making your God look like an asshole, since this supposed all-loving being is going out of it's way to cause others to suffer, sometimes even in death.

@EvisceratedJester Last year was the worst year of my life and to have to people in my family constantly tell me "everything happens for a reason" it makes me so angry.

What good can come from all that has happened? All these events have finally driven me to kill myself. I have been fighting and I can't do it anymore. NOTHING in my life is going right.

● I can't got over the man I love, no matter what I do I can't get over him and he caused me so much pain. I admit the heartbreak feels like a lifetime. It's the worst pain this man has put me through and he has messed me up.

● I am so upset everyday because this year is when I should have been preparing for final exams and graduating. Being forced to defer is one of the worst things to happen to me because it put me on the path of self destruction. Now I am going to lose my university place.

● I hate my relatives now more than ever. My grandmother paid for her brother to go university in the UK and this brother is now wealthy. He is a wealthy arsehole who looks down upon family members and NEVER helps a family member who is in need of financial help.

My grandmother and mother always help these relatives in every fianacial emergency they have or crisis in their families and now when I need help NONE of these relatives show up. I needed help paying a £5,000 enrolment fee the university required to start the course. There were relatives who were able to help but NEVER help. £5,000 is nothing to wealthy arsehole uncle but uncle just loves showing off money while preaching about being a good Christian yep.

These relatives throughout the years have been selfish and self centred my mum and grandmother can't see that.

I am so sick of everything going wrong and i can't cope anymore