Largest reason for wanting CTB?

  • Trouble/Conflict with non-family (work, school, friends, etc.)

    Votes: 6 4.1%
  • Trouble/Conflict with family (including in-laws, family-friends, etc)

    Votes: 4 2.7%
  • Harsh living conditions (extreme poverty, homeless, unhealthy work conditions, etc.)

    Votes: 5 3.4%
  • Financial issues

    Votes: 6 4.1%
  • Lack of intimacy

    Votes: 11 7.4%
  • Life-long depression (or other mental conditions)

    Votes: 68 45.9%
  • Chronic illness (Cancer, HT, etc.)

    Votes: 20 13.5%
  • Other

    Votes: 28 18.9%

  • Total voters
    148
B

Bigrab

Member
Feb 10, 2020
8
I clicked Life-long depression (or other mental conditions)

I have a pretty vast range of debilitating mental health conditions. Each day is often such a struggle and chore to get through. I'd also tick the family box too, I have no blood family left in my life. My parents, brother, uncle and aunties, my brothers kids and wife, even my daughter who's birthday it is today, she's 5 today, I have been without them fir 3 and a half years now. Although it was the right thing separating from abusive parents its still upsetting that because of them I lost everything in the process, that's narcissists for you. Sometime I blame myself for everything that happened.

I really don't like living with myself and all my different parts, I find myself disgusting, worthless, and a failure who can't achieve anything anymore. I'm a drain on society and if I was an animal I think I would be put down. I'm a good person deep down but I have badness and I think I have been messed up mentally since a very young age.

For me the only thing that keeps me here is my fiancé, I love her so much. I don't know anymore why she still loves me the way she dose. She is the most perfect person I have ever come across and I don't deserve her love.

wow that went downhill fast

this is my first post to this site so please be nice to me
 
Spectre

Spectre

I am serious about not taking things seriously
Nov 27, 2023
234
Extreme depression and lifelong feeling of being an outsider. I just don't want to play this game anymore.
 
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