Lack of life skills, and hobbies before age 25 destroys your development

[Journeytoletgo]

That's why I'm so angry

 

[84779943]

I can relate. What skills do you think you need to learn now? What is your motivation for finding your authentic self? Do you have ideas of how to find community or groups that can teach you or help you develop into the person you can become?

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I can relate. What skills do you think you need to learn now? What is your motivation for finding your authentic self? Do you have ideas of how to find community or groups that can teach you or help you develop into the person you can become?

I'm a compilation of complex traumas so I don't have the energy nor will to pursue the good anymore. The skills I would need are social skills, some hobbies I like and wish I did before age 25 in my teens would have been various dance forms such as belly dance, hip hop, pole dancing. Honestly I think it's too late for me. Hbu?

 

[Mtnwildflowers]

I do think you're speaking the truth in a lot of ways. Parents have so much influence on kids..they have no idea. If you're parents help support your emotional and social development when you're young, it makes a huge difference. It's why I can't be a parent and why I can't understand why so many people have kids.

 

[84779943]

Well I'm 32 going on 33. For me it's a little more that I figured out enough to get by before the anxiety forced me into isolation. The social skills I really needed though were how to cope with trauma from childhood abuse and later sexual abuse. If you're dealing with CPTSD and trying to learn these things it's difficult to add burdens to a nervous system that is injured and malfunctioning and for that not to have a knock on effect on neurodivervence and overall self esteem. Atm I no longer have the incentive to try but that's complicated to the particular environment and financial constraints and the limitations caused by long Covid. Let go of what you think you should be like and figure out who you truly are.

For example, when I'm not bedridden with depression or overwhelmed with flashbacks I chat with everyone. I go to my park and climb trees. I learn how to make flatbreads and make a mess. I sew and mend clothes. Unfortunately for me it is in solitude but these things should be shared

 

[NSA]

wish I did before age 25 in my teens would have been dance forms such as belly dance, hip hop, pole dancing. Honestly I think it's too late for me. Hbu?

 

[Britvik]

I couldn't disagree more!
Destroying something implies permanence. A lack of development doesn't have to be permanent. People DO turn their lives around. With an open mind and the desire, you WILL develop. And the good news gets better: it's never too late to start learning!

 

[sealbabies]

In my case I just see my time alive as pointless. I'm 28, 29 in the summer if that helps. Maybe distractions are nice, but I kind of was always going in this direction.
Don't know if there's anything I could have developed when looking back that would have me excited or content with living. Honestly feels like I'm just who I am and that's all I know.
Sorry for all the vague nonsense.

 

[Britvik]

I can relate. What skills do you think you need to learn now? What is your motivation for finding your authentic self? Do you have ideas of how to find community or groups that can teach you or help you develop into the person you can become?

Some great questions! I'm not sure if they were directed at the OP exclusively, so I'll make some suggestions and you can ignore them or not.

The most useful skill, in my humble opinion, is listening. I mean really listening, attentively, rather than hearing while thinking a million thoughts!

I'm still discovering my "authentic self", whatever that means. I have good and bad days like everyone else. Sometimes I'm a devil, other times an angel, usually somewhere in between. As nothing is permanent - including our personality and character - I don't think we really have an authentic self. Perhaps it's consciousness/awareness; the thing that observes.

I haven't got any useful groups or communities to recommend, specifically. I'm the kind of person who tries things to find out. So, you could look around and find something that appeals. More generally, I can recommend service. By that, I mean helping others. It doesn't have to be a big project, it could just be visiting some elderly people for a chat, for example. Personally, I find that helping others, even habitually, forces me to turn my attention outwards (which can help me break out of spiralling negative thoughts).

Well I'm 32 going on 33. For me it's a little more that I figured out enough to get by before the anxiety forced me into isolation. The social skills I really needed though were how to cope with trauma from childhood abuse and later sexual abuse. If you're dealing with CPTSD and trying to learn these things it's difficult to add burdens to a nervous system that is injured and malfunctioning and for that not to have a knock on effect on neurodivervence and overall self esteem. Atm I no longer have the incentive to try but that's complicated to the particular environment and financial constraints and the limitations caused by long Covid. Let go of what you think you should be like and figure out who you truly are.

For example, when I'm not bedridden with depression or overwhelmed with flashbacks I chat with everyone. I go to my park and climb trees. I learn how to make flatbreads and make a mess. I sew and mend clothes. Unfortunately for me it is in solitude but these things should be shared

I think you have the answer! Solitude can be excellent sometimes, but humans need social contact to function well. I say this as someone who enjoys being alone and is frequently irritated by other people! The thing is, I can be irritated safe in the knowledge that I have family, friends and colleagues! Without them, my irritation might morph into something more harmful (to myself, as well as others).

Appreciation is a powerful anti-depressant. But, it's unattainable if you spend your time alone. If you spend some time helping others, you won't be alone and you'll soon be appreciated