Venting Kinda hate that drugs and alcohol don't work on me

[Malaria]

Exactly what it says on the tin... I've tried weed before once on a day I attempted suicide and it didn't calm me down at all, sadly it just increased my anxiety and paranoia... Earlier this year I got drunk because I was having a PTSD episode and feeling a lot of betrayal from people in my personal life and got really drunk, and that didn't make me feel better either, it just made my emotions a lot worse and more intense.

I just hate that I'm always feeling negative and can't escape these feelings, no matter how hard I try.