cheesefundamental
Member
- Apr 2, 2021
- 33
getting drunk, playing a video game then im fucking hanging myself.
i tried to spend some time with my mother one more time before the end of all of this, but she ended up finding out i lied to my job about someone dying so i could have time i needed to recover from the end of a completely dependant relationship i'd been ripped from
is it fucked up to lie about that? yep. but i didnt know what else to do at the time and i couldnt have taken it back, i needed that time to recover because i was fucking spiralling and trying not to kill myself every single day, and losing my job would have pushed me over the edge
at the end, my once gentle, loving mother, who cared so dearly for me, called my actions disgusting and i got no guarantee she'll ever think of me nicely again when i asked her if she would ever think of me kindly again
thats it
i cant take it anymore
ive lost everything and everyone and nothing will ever get better in a way that matters
i fucked up my life because i was too depressed and mentally unwell to do the right things
i became a monster and ill die a monster
i tried to spend some time with my mother one more time before the end of all of this, but she ended up finding out i lied to my job about someone dying so i could have time i needed to recover from the end of a completely dependant relationship i'd been ripped from
is it fucked up to lie about that? yep. but i didnt know what else to do at the time and i couldnt have taken it back, i needed that time to recover because i was fucking spiralling and trying not to kill myself every single day, and losing my job would have pushed me over the edge
at the end, my once gentle, loving mother, who cared so dearly for me, called my actions disgusting and i got no guarantee she'll ever think of me nicely again when i asked her if she would ever think of me kindly again
thats it
i cant take it anymore
ive lost everything and everyone and nothing will ever get better in a way that matters
i fucked up my life because i was too depressed and mentally unwell to do the right things
i became a monster and ill die a monster