Story Kids and Self-Harm

[esthe]

I'd like to share this here to get some feedback, as I'm not sure if I've done the right thing or have been thorough enough.

My little brother and I were playing videogames together, having fun and whatnot, when he suddenly stopped and asked me "Why do emos do that? Cut themselves, I mean.", just...out of the blue.
We've never had any kind of discussion related to suicide and self-harm, he's 12, so that, as well as the way he phrased it, threw me off a little.
He's quite sweet and considerate, just a little clueless at times (well, he's a kid), so after asking him the motive behind his question (as he couldn't have seen my scars since I keep them hidden from my family) he told me that a classmate of his was and is struggling with self-harm, and no one cared in the slightest.

I didn't know how to best explain it to him, but first I told him to get rid of that "emos cut themselves" stereotype and misconception (which he heard from his "friends" when they jokingly told him about that situation. Jokingly?! That's serious shit, goddammit), and then explained him that there can be various reasons behind a person hurting themselves, and that it's not something to joke about in any way.
He looked genuinely concerned, and I suggested him not to mind his friends' judgement and try to make that classmate of his feel accepted and not alone, without addressing self-harm, just to make her conscious of the fact that she had a friend in him. Sometimes, the smallest things can make a huge difference.

Now, even though school is over for them, they started hanging out. He told me that he noticed that she looks a little happier, and on the other hand, he is too.

 

[terminalending]

You couldn't have explained it and corrected his misconceptions better. I'm so glad his classmate seems happier now!

 

[Strawberry_Clouds]

the way you handled it was great, you didn't berate him or go into depth on the topic of self harm. I didn't have anyone who reached out to me at 12, it was probably the point in my childhood where I was closest to suicide, but I'm glad that girl now has someone, thank you.

 

[Forever Sleep]

What a lovely boy he sounds. So caring about why someone would do it. Sounds like you were really good with him too. I hope he becomes a good friend for that girl. I hope they help one another.

 

[esthe]

What a lovely boy he sounds. So caring about why someone would do it. Sounds like you were really good with him too. I hope he becomes a good friend for that girl. I hope they help one another.

I really hope so too!

the way you handled it was great, you didn't berate him or go into depth on the topic of self harm. I didn't have anyone who reached out to me at 12, it was probably the point in my childhood where I was closest to suicide, but I'm glad that girl now has someone, thank you.

Thank you, unfortunately at that age (but even later) most people see someone who struggles and just leave them be. I'm sorry you had to go through it alone, I know how you must have felt because the same thing happened to me. These things can completely change you, but you know what? Just the fact that we're all here, willing to help or just give a shit no matter what we went through, is great. So take pride in that! Have a good day <3 (wrote it again because I realized I hadn't clicked on 'reply')

 

[loyalskateboard]

You handled it perfectly. I can't think of anything you could have done differently. I'm glad you are teaching him like that, too many people would just brush it off with "People who are sad cut themselves and lots of emos are depressed. You're not going to hurt yourself right?"

 

[esthe]

You handled it perfectly. I can't think of anything you could have done differently. I'm glad you are teaching him like that, too many people would just brush it off with "People who are sad cut themselves and lots of emos are depressed. You're not going to hurt yourself right?"

Exactly, it happens way too frequently and it's straight up horrible

 

[hells "angel"]

I'd like to share this here to get some feedback, as I'm not sure if I've done the right thing or have been thorough enough.

My little brother and I were playing videogames together, having fun and whatnot, when he suddenly stopped and asked me "Why do emos do that? Cut themselves, I mean.", just...out of the blue.
We've never had any kind of discussion related to suicide and self-harm, he's 12, so that, as well as the way he phrased it, threw me off a little.
He's quite sweet and considerate, just a little clueless at times (well, he's a kid), so after asking him the motive behind his question (as he couldn't have seen my scars since I keep them hidden from my family) he told me that a classmate of his was and is struggling with self-harm, and no one cared in the slightest.

I didn't know how to best explain it to him, but first I told him to get rid of that "emos cut themselves" stereotype and misconception (which he heard from his "friends" when they jokingly told him about that situation. Jokingly?! That's serious shit, goddammit), and then explained him that there can be various reasons behind a person hurting themselves, and that it's not something to joke about in any way.
He looked genuinely concerned, and I suggested him not to mind his friends' judgement and try to make that classmate of his feel accepted and not alone, without addressing self-harm, just to make her conscious of the fact that she had a friend in him. Sometimes, the smallest things can make a huge difference.

Now, even though school is over for them, they started hanging out. He told me that he noticed that she looks a little happier, and on the other hand, he is too.

You're lucky your brothers still got his innocents. My little brother is currently 12, started cutting himself at 11. He's went through a similar path as me; has depression, anorexia, suicidal thoughts, abuses nic, pot, alc, and sometimes any pills he can get from his friends. I hope your brother stays innocent. He deserves that.

 

[Erik.t.f]

it just sad when kids struggling

 

[crossroads]

You did a great job. Kids are more observant than they are given credit for

 

[MrDarkness]

I'd like to share this here to get some feedback, as I'm not sure if I've done the right thing or have been thorough enough.

My little brother and I were playing videogames together, having fun and whatnot, when he suddenly stopped and asked me "Why do emos do that? Cut themselves, I mean.", just...out of the blue.
We've never had any kind of discussion related to suicide and self-harm, he's 12, so that, as well as the way he phrased it, threw me off a little.
He's quite sweet and considerate, just a little clueless at times (well, he's a kid), so after asking him the motive behind his question (as he couldn't have seen my scars since I keep them hidden from my family) he told me that a classmate of his was and is struggling with self-harm, and no one cared in the slightest.

I didn't know how to best explain it to him, but first I told him to get rid of that "emos cut themselves" stereotype and misconception (which he heard from his "friends" when they jokingly told him about that situation. Jokingly?! That's serious shit, goddammit), and then explained him that there can be various reasons behind a person hurting themselves, and that it's not something to joke about in any way.
He looked genuinely concerned, and I suggested him not to mind his friends' judgement and try to make that classmate of his feel accepted and not alone, without addressing self-harm, just to make her conscious of the fact that she had a friend in him. Sometimes, the smallest things can make a huge difference.

Now, even though school is over for them, they started hanging out. He told me that he noticed that she looks a little happier, and on the other hand, he is too.

That melts my heart, I'm glad you told him about different reasons why people self harm and why it shouldn't be shunned, and I'm glad he's friends with them, that's an incredible act of kindness, reading stuff like this keeps me living

 

[charlotte_]

It's great seeing wholesome stories like this once in a while. You're an amazing sibling for that. I wish the world could contain more adults like you who is understanding of these kinds of topics and willing to teach them to children, it is necessary to yet most adults choose to turn a blind eye to it.

 

[esthe]

You're lucky your brothers still got his innocents. My little brother is currently 12, started cutting himself at 11. He's went through a similar path as me; has depression, anorexia, suicidal thoughts, abuses nic, pot, alc, and sometimes any pills he can get from his friends. I hope your brother stays innocent. He deserves that.

shit, I'm sorry you both had to go through this, no one ever should. my words may not mean anything, but I wish the best for both of you. truly.

 

[sadnow11]

I almost want to cry. Pure child.

I started cutting at 15 and I sh is an awful thing to go through. In my experience its addictive, it looks nasty, it can sometimes relieve suffering but then immediately after you are filled with feelings of shame.

A 12 year old should not be subject to that.

 

[esthe]

That melts my heart, I'm glad you told him about different reasons why people self harm and why it shouldn't be shunned, and I'm glad he's friends with them, that's an incredible act of kindness, reading stuff like this keeps me living

most times a little kindness can help in ways we can't even imagine, but it seems that nowadays no one is willing to just...care, you know? I still hope for that to change

It's great seeing wholesome stories like this once in a while. You're an amazing sibling for that. I wish the world could contain more adults like you who is understanding of these kinds of topics and willing to teach them to children, it is necessary to yet most adults choose to turn a blind eye to it.

thank you, many forget that in the end we're responsible in our little ways for how this society will be in years. sure, we all have our shit to deal with, our own priorities and all, but others' well-being is as important as ours

I almost want to cry. Pure child.

I started cutting at 15 and I sh is an awful thing to go through. In my experience its addictive, it looks nasty, it can sometimes relieve suffering but then immediately after you are filled with feelings of shame.

A 12 year old should not be subject to that.

exactly. cutting is already awful as it is, and with all the judgement that comes with it, the situation just gets worse: it varies from person to person, but in my experience too it sure was addictive, and it took a lot of time and effort to stop and not act on the ever recurring thoughts. I hope it's gotten better for you too

 

[sayire]

I suggested him not to mind his friends' judgement and try to make that classmate of his feel accepted and not alone, without addressing self-harm, just to make her conscious of the fact that she had a friend in him. Sometimes, the smallest things can make a huge difference.

so beautifully handled.