thecoldest
Member
- Feb 2, 2026
- 7
i am fucking tired of living in this constant state of getting better just to get worse again. i don't want to "heal" anymore, i am ALWAYS healing, but never healed. all the time i hear people telling me that i should be kinder to myself, or that i should take a break to get better, but how the fuck am i supposed to be a functional human being if i am always in this mood, if i am always "almost there". every time, i swear to god, every. fucking. time. i am almost feeling somehow good my state of mind shifts, and i am depressed again.
and dying is also so fucking hard, so complicated. i've been trying to gather the courage to try the charcoal burning method since the beginning of the year. i swear i tried to get better, i really did, but at this point exhaustion is all that's left in my body.
i have decided that i will no longer take medication, or go to therapy. i want to hit rock bottom, maybe then i will feel brave enough to finally do it.
and dying is also so fucking hard, so complicated. i've been trying to gather the courage to try the charcoal burning method since the beginning of the year. i swear i tried to get better, i really did, but at this point exhaustion is all that's left in my body.
i have decided that i will no longer take medication, or go to therapy. i want to hit rock bottom, maybe then i will feel brave enough to finally do it.
