![Tonic](/data/avatars/l/2/2477.jpg?1536678158)
Tonic
Another human
- Sep 11, 2018
- 15
I don't know why but I have always wanted to just silently disappear from this world without leaving a trace, but it seems really hard to do since I still have family and acquaintances and all.
People in my country love to judge and gossip about suicides even though they don't know or understand a thing. Depression is a myth to them. Existential crisis is something that is beyond their comprehension. My family are all like this - ignorant pro-lifers, so I don't expect them to understand. I know they would be definitely shocked and blame me for taking my life (and wasting their investment, making them the center of all the gossip ect.)
I don't really care about what others think about me anymore, but I do still care for my parents, since they really love me and have never hurt me intentionally. I don't want them to suffer from all that gossiping/pitying of those stupid acquaintances.
I also don't want to do it at home, since they would have to deal with the cleanup, explanation, announcement and funeral thing, which would put even more stress on them.
That said, I'm thinking of pretending to go somewhere far away to work and then wait for the right moment to ctb quietly (maybe I can even fake an accident or something). My family will only be aware of my disappearance days or even weeks after I have said the final goodbye. That way, they can use some excuses to cover up my death (and their embarrassment) from nosy people. Or it could be worse, I'm not sure.
I'm posting this here to ask if any of you have the same thoughts and are planning the same things. I would appreciate all of the perspectives and suggestions you can share. Thanks.
People in my country love to judge and gossip about suicides even though they don't know or understand a thing. Depression is a myth to them. Existential crisis is something that is beyond their comprehension. My family are all like this - ignorant pro-lifers, so I don't expect them to understand. I know they would be definitely shocked and blame me for taking my life (and wasting their investment, making them the center of all the gossip ect.)
I don't really care about what others think about me anymore, but I do still care for my parents, since they really love me and have never hurt me intentionally. I don't want them to suffer from all that gossiping/pitying of those stupid acquaintances.
I also don't want to do it at home, since they would have to deal with the cleanup, explanation, announcement and funeral thing, which would put even more stress on them.
That said, I'm thinking of pretending to go somewhere far away to work and then wait for the right moment to ctb quietly (maybe I can even fake an accident or something). My family will only be aware of my disappearance days or even weeks after I have said the final goodbye. That way, they can use some excuses to cover up my death (and their embarrassment) from nosy people. Or it could be worse, I'm not sure.
I'm posting this here to ask if any of you have the same thoughts and are planning the same things. I would appreciate all of the perspectives and suggestions you can share. Thanks.