I know that no one is going to save me or care for me, that I'm an adult now and life just kind of sucks if you're not able to function well, but can you blame a girl for just wanting comfort for once? At times it gets far worse, a year ago, the time I was closest to attempting to far, I had truly convinced myself that if I just CTB that there would be a mother figure to care for me after I died so long as I used the right method, and just building on that without evidence.
I don't actively believe in that right now but some part of me needs there to be something to care and save you for once, because the idea we were all just sent to suffer is too much. Perhaps this is a strange reference, but I feel like the best summary of my feelings about having been brought into this world, even if not in the literal sense is Murph from Interstellar when (spoilers for movie, it's old but still doing it out of caution)
I don't actively believe in that right now but some part of me needs there to be something to care and save you for once, because the idea we were all just sent to suffer is too much. Perhaps this is a strange reference, but I feel like the best summary of my feelings about having been brought into this world, even if not in the literal sense is Murph from Interstellar when (spoilers for movie, it's old but still doing it out of caution)
obviously my parents didn't know that life would be this pointless and painful for me but the feeling comes and goes that I was trapped in a ruse from the beginning.
