Just Trying To Get Through The Holidays

[cracklingroses]

I need to be in residential care, but being transgender has made it impossible to find any places that will take me. The last residential I was in I was bullied out of. I don't know what to do anymore.

Living in my house with my parents has driven me to a point where I am getting really impulsive dreams and ideas about hurting myself, and my parents; and my psychosis is getting worse. I don't know what to do anymore. I am trying so hard to make it through the holidays and try to make the best of it so I don't ruin it for them but then at the same time they are making it miserable for me so it has just been pure hell trying to get through this.

I have been abusing drugs to the point where I am shocked I haven't gone into cardiac arrest or had a stroke yet. I want so bad to get clean but the drugs are the only thing keeping me alive. I talk to no one. I have no close relations with anyone. No friends. No family. I am going insane. Every year it gets darker and darker and I am scared how far it is going to go. I wish so bad I could find a residential place to take me but I don't know how to do that; everyone has abandoned me.

People always like to say that you are not worthless, but they are the ones who make you feel like you are the most worthless person in existence.

 

[edu0z]

People always like to say that you are not worthless, but they are the ones who make you feel like you are the most worthless person in existence.

Someone once told me: "Society doesn't want me, so fuck society", He wasn't an evil person, or a parasite, he was just a good person who got fed up with others taking advantage of him. Instead of hating others, he decided simply to live his life on his own... I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

[cracklingroses]

Someone once told me: "Society doesn't want me, so fuck society", He wasn't an evil person, or a parasite, he was just a good person who got fed up with others taking advantage of him. Instead of hating others, he decided simply to live his life on his own... I'm sorry you're going through this.

I really appreciate that. I don't want to hate anyone. I hate that I let myself get pushed to this point. That is really good advice and I appreciate that so much.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really dreadful what you are going through, I hate how many humans are so cruel and just create so much suffering. But anyway best wishes.

 

[cracklingroses]

That must be really dreadful what you are going through, I hate how many humans are so cruel and just create so much suffering. But anyway best wishes.

I appreciate your support so much. Best wishes to you, as well!

 

[nightlygem]

Hey I'm not sure if this will mean much to you, but there are plenty of people on this forum that will gladly listen to what you have to say. Friends or not, we're here to listen and to respond. Not sure if that will help with any feelings of loneliness, but it certainly helped me.

 

[cracklingroses]

Hey I'm not sure if this will mean much to you, but there are plenty of people on this forum that will gladly listen to what you have to say. Friends or not, we're here to listen and to respond. Not sure if that will help with any feelings of loneliness, but it certainly helped me.

I am sorry to get back to your reply late. I really appreciate you, though. That means a lot to me honestly, and I think I will try to reach out more on here for support. Thank you so much for your kindness