I would never tell anyone !!! So what are you going to do now ? Trying to get a better treatment or CTB ?
Well, I admitted that the only reason things seemed to be improving; going to the gym, riding my bike, the physical chronic pain decreasing somewhat, was because I was taking quick release Oxycodone bought online, as opposed to his 10 mg a day slow release - so now he's considering giving me the quick release, and a higher dose - so maybe there's hope, even if it just buys me a bit more time to see how much I can improve with exercise - I started going through Oxy withdrawal Friday night - believe me, it's horrible! I woke up at 1 am, arms and legs flailing about like a spastic, and squealing in pain like a pig! You don't want to go there. It was right out of the film Trainspotting.
I get this and it's completely normal that you tried to reach out and explain what your painful feelings are. I do it too. We're just desperate for the pain to end, stop, for good or even just for a few days.
exactly - most people don't want to die, they just want to live a good life, pain-free
Life, consciousness and emotions are much more than just neurotransmitters and chemistry.
Imagine in 300 years from now - I bet they will be able to cure chronic pain and mental health problems with a quick visit to the hospital - some machine pin-points the problem area in the central nervous system and you're cured! Maybe...
I would never personally see it as a good idea to tell others about wanting to ctb, but I hope that you are able to find what you are looking for and I wish you relief from your suffering in whatever you decide to do.
Thank you - he wants to see me tomorrow about changing type of Oxy to one that hits fast, with regular doses, rather than slow release, so hopefully he'll comply, if it's a life or death situation, which it is!
