catastrophix
and my nightmares will have nightmares every night
- Feb 20, 2023
- 94
(Hi, I'm new here, so apologies if I'm doing something wrong.)
I'm just so sick of my daily routine. I desperately want out, but I'm practically monitored 24/7. I'm not allowed to have access to anything potentially dangerous— No pills, sharp objects, etc. I'm 20, but I cannot work atm so I'm stuck here.
I take a LOT of mental health medication, and I mean a lot. Some of those meds have to be taken with a glass of water or food. This is hell for me, as I take these meds four times a day, and my depression just doesn't make me hungry at all.
The person I live with puts my daily dosages in a pillbox so I only have access to the day's worth of pills, so there's no way I could OD. I'm considering SN, but I fear that the person I live with will open the package.
I'm sick of these pills that don't work and forcing myself to eat. And if I attempted to come off these pills, I would get horrible side effects (Ik this because the last time I went to the psych ward, they didn't give me any of my meds until the second day. I had non stop panic attacks, dizziness and a horrible headache.) I've wanted to die since preschool. I really don't know how much more I can take.
I'm sorry for complaining, I don't really have any other outlets when it comes to such topic. I have a lot to figure out method wise. It shouldn't be this hard to find an end to suffering.
I'm just so sick of my daily routine. I desperately want out, but I'm practically monitored 24/7. I'm not allowed to have access to anything potentially dangerous— No pills, sharp objects, etc. I'm 20, but I cannot work atm so I'm stuck here.
I take a LOT of mental health medication, and I mean a lot. Some of those meds have to be taken with a glass of water or food. This is hell for me, as I take these meds four times a day, and my depression just doesn't make me hungry at all.
The person I live with puts my daily dosages in a pillbox so I only have access to the day's worth of pills, so there's no way I could OD. I'm considering SN, but I fear that the person I live with will open the package.
I'm sick of these pills that don't work and forcing myself to eat. And if I attempted to come off these pills, I would get horrible side effects (Ik this because the last time I went to the psych ward, they didn't give me any of my meds until the second day. I had non stop panic attacks, dizziness and a horrible headache.) I've wanted to die since preschool. I really don't know how much more I can take.
I'm sorry for complaining, I don't really have any other outlets when it comes to such topic. I have a lot to figure out method wise. It shouldn't be this hard to find an end to suffering.