burdenox
“You are all the things that are wrong with you”
- Nov 10, 2020
- 28
I just don't know what to do anymore. Nothing good ever fucking lasts. In one month I've drifted from my friends, had ANOTHER death to add on to the list of ghosts that haunt this house and just got fired with NO warning. (No i didn't do anything crazy. Just didn't "meet the quota" or some petty shit. Truth is that people there just didn't like me) and of course they told me right at the start of what was supposed to be my shift so I just spent £15 on commuting for fuck all. My manager pulled out the "I think you're a lovely person, you can message me at anytime" bs. So fucking fake. I wish people weren't so scared of just saying their opinions.
I'm just so tired. It doesn't get better. It doesn't get better and I'm so tired of pretending that it will. After 22 years of shit I'm convinced that my bloodline is cursed. I don't even have anyone to rant to anymore (not that I did before because it feels cruel to burden people like that) they're all either dead, don't care or are just too nice for me to scare them off like that.
So I'm back at being a disgusting fucking leech and applying for 30 jobs a day only to have none of them reply to me. (So glad I spent 3 years in uni to get a fucking bachelors of science) or I just die which seems super tempting right now, I can't lie.
Death has to be more peaceful than this, right? The only comfort I have right now is the knowledge that I always have my plan to fall back on
I'm just so tired. It doesn't get better. It doesn't get better and I'm so tired of pretending that it will. After 22 years of shit I'm convinced that my bloodline is cursed. I don't even have anyone to rant to anymore (not that I did before because it feels cruel to burden people like that) they're all either dead, don't care or are just too nice for me to scare them off like that.
So I'm back at being a disgusting fucking leech and applying for 30 jobs a day only to have none of them reply to me. (So glad I spent 3 years in uni to get a fucking bachelors of science) or I just die which seems super tempting right now, I can't lie.
Death has to be more peaceful than this, right? The only comfort I have right now is the knowledge that I always have my plan to fall back on
