I'm pretty sure it's time to go. I've made an effort, sought out help and tried, but it is just too hard. I have my N, it's just a matter of drinking it.
Thanks for sharing how you feel.
I've had my method stored in the shed for a long time now. It brings me some comfort knowing that I have my ticket for the bus.
Once I know my life insurance will pay out to those living this experience (where shit like money matters), I'll be more ready. Even though it won't make no difference to me at that point… being conscious as of now and aware of what the aftermath will potentially bring makes me want to put what I can in place to make things easier for those I love.
I don't want you to think I'm being patronising. I don't want it to come across that way. How you feel is how you feel and I respect that as a stranger reading your post.
I just wanted to interact with your post and let you know someone out there is reading. You can take your own ticket whenever you please! But I was just wondering as you said you was 'pretty' sure… to me, it sounds like you have a little unfinished business… that there is still a spark flickering… perhaps hold on to your ticket for now, because it is non-refundable once it's used. Make sure you've done everything you feel is possible and that you're fully content and ready IF you drink that N…
I just don't want you being scared and regretful once it starts becoming too late. I'm sure you've got yourself to the point you are now after so long… but as I'm not sure on your journey to where you are now, I just thought I would put this out there… and for anyone else who feels 'ready'. There are lots of people who take the decision to end their life and immediately regret it afterwards… personally, I want to feel at peace and calm (as much as possible)
Take care - always someone reading ..