Just put on the bag for the first time

[Zimcity]

Oh my God I am afraid.
I've scheduled all my letters to go out early in the morning. I made my bed cozy. I've protected the bed with plastic and I've covered the bed with my kids teddies and their blankets so I pretend I'm holding them and I've got my favourite video from when my boy was a baby with beautiful backing music. I turned on the gas, exhaled, put the bag on, tightened it around my neck letting it fill and started taking a breath. I could feel it wasnt air I was breathing and I expected to fall unconscious right away. I got afraid and I took it off.
Omg. This is a terrible feeling.
I wish I was not alone.
I want someone to hold me

 

[profoundexperience]

Dearest @Zimcity, may I please wholeheartedly offer you this Buddhist prayer of lovingkindness now — for this very moment — and, if you must, for whatever may come...

May you be free of suffering, @Zimcity.
May you have mental happiness, @Zimcity.
May you have physical happiness, @Zimcity.
May you have ease of well being, @Zimcity.

 

[lost_soul83]

Oh my God I am afraid.
I've scheduled all my letters to go out early in the morning. I made my bed cozy. I've protected the bed with plastic and I've covered the bed with my kids teddies and their blankets so I pretend I'm holding them and I've got my favourite video from when my boy was a baby with beautiful backing music. I turned on the gas, exhaled, put the bag on, tightened it around my neck letting it fill and started taking a breath. I could feel it wasnt air I was breathing and I expected to fall unconscious right away. I got afraid and I took it off.
Omg. This is a terrible feeling.
I wish I was not alone.
I want someone to hold me

I wish I could be there with you. I'd be happy to hold you, if you share the bag with me lolz! But in all seriousness, I wish I could be there so you weren't alone.

 

[Querlista]

Oh dear I know this feeling.. it's awful and fucking lonely. Suicide is so fucking lonely and miserable.
We're here for you, we empathise, you're not alone!
Is ist possible to do sth now that eases your mind a little? Brew your fav tee and watch some youtube videos?
Sending all the hugs I can give! My heart goes out to you ❤❤❤

 

[NeverSatisfied]

The worst part about this is the secretiveness and loneliness in those final moments. You make the most (or one of, I know you've probably done alot on behalf of your kids) important choices of your life alone.

I wish you didn't have to go through this with no one physically there to hold you. For now, I'm sending good vibes and virtual h

ugs

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm really sorry you're alone. I wish I could be by your side.
Hope you can be at peace.

Wish you the best and send you lots of hugs and love

 

[Deleted member 24645]

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Sending hugs xx

 

[Belaya Noch]

I wish you all the best, and I wish you could put an end to your suffering in some less radical way.