Venting Just need to be heard

[Pryras]

Ironically, as a child I had an extreme fear of dying and I remember bursting into tears before bed wondering if I would wake up... fast forward and all I want is to CTB and be free from the suffering.

I fear of being hurt in the future the way I have now that I'm terrified of going on. I've tried committing suicide twice but nothing happened to me physically (lots of financial damage) and was left alive, worse off, two cars gone, and drained of my resources.

Shortly after I was in a relationship and later miscarried. I was traumatized and never felt as worthless in my life. No support whatsoever or kind words from even the nurse. I wish I died that moment but I am here now.... alone, with no one, no real friends and completely isolated with myself and the world.

I feel like a complete burden and my people pleasing attitude has caused me tremendous pain over the course of a decade. The pain won't stop until I leave

 

[Cave Johnson]

While not exactly the same circumstances, I feel very similar. Know that you are heard.

 

[BFishy]

hugs to you. I also can relate to not all but alot of your feelings of pain and being a burden.
It's ironic that I can't do anything about my own pain but I can usually listen and emphasize with others. If I can help or even just be a shoulder that understands I and I'm sure many others are here to listen and try helping you along.