Venting Just mulling things through

[_unique_username_]

If the dearly departed are really having a good time on the other side, does it not make more sense to cross over? Seeing that there's more suffering by staying on this side longer because no matter how hard or how much I try, it seems like it's trying to show me that I'm just not made for this life. Even when I fulfill the criteria for things to work out like how it did for others, some bad weird shit just seems to keep happening to me. It's been really hard to make life work and hard to make life more bearable to live in this new reality. Seems like I'm being kept alive just enough to continue enduring shit and heartbreak. If I know for sure what happens after we die, the choice will be so much easier and I can make the necessary arrangements to make sure that my close/loved ones are covered and taken care of when I go. Right now, it'll be venturing into the unknown, and I'm not sure if it's worth it to take the chances yet. Still pondering and trying to stay realistic. I wouldn't even have to make this choice if life starts falling into place, but doors keep getting shut and walls are closing in. I've been trying really hard to make life more bearable to cope with someone else's suicide, but things always seem to go wrong with those efforts and maybe that dark void is calling out to me to come on over. I want to end my life before it starts becoming worse, a bitter one filled with regrets. Even worse if I start lashing out on the people around me, wanting to drag them down with me because my own life hasn't been working out. I better end it before those things start happening. Would be nice if the good things start falling into place, but it doesn't seem to be happening any time soon and enduring is becoming more difficult as time passes by.

I'll be coming back to this post to add more thoughts as they come.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, I also see myself as not being meant for this life. I know that it can be dreadful when things just get worse. This life can be so awful and depressing. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[_unique_username_]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, I also see myself as not being meant for this life. I know that it can be dreadful when things just get worse. This life can be so awful and depressing. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

Thanks, same to u too... Yeah the best thing would be that things ease up for all the struggling people. It feels like a very mean joke sometimes the way that life works. If we treat it like how it's treating us, then pew pew, full stop, the end. Enough with all the bs. But... nobody can prove what comes after death. There's that dilemma.

If the dearly departed are really having a good time on the other side, does it not make more sense to cross over? Seeing that there's more suffering by staying on this side longer because no matter how hard or how much I try, it seems like it's trying to show me that I'm just not made for this life. Even when I fulfill the criteria for things to work out like how it did for others, some bad weird shit just seems to keep happening to me. It's been really hard to make life work and hard to make life more bearable to live in this new reality. Seems like I'm being kept alive just enough to continue enduring shit and heartbreak. If I know for sure what happens after we die, the choice will be so much easier and I can make the necessary arrangements to make sure that my close/loved ones are covered and taken care of when I go. Right now, it'll be venturing into the unknown, and I'm not sure if it's worth it to take the chances yet. Still pondering and trying to stay realistic. I wouldn't even have to make this choice if life starts falling into place, but doors keep getting shut and walls are closing in. I've been trying really hard to make life more bearable to cope with someone else's suicide, but things always seem to go wrong with those efforts and maybe that dark void is calling out to me to come on over. I want to end my life before it starts becoming worse, a bitter one filled with regrets. Even worse if I start lashing out on the people around me, wanting to drag them down with me because my own life hasn't been working out. I better end it before those things start happening. Would be nice if the good things start falling into place, but it doesn't seem to be happening any time soon and enduring is becoming more difficult as time passes by.

I'll be coming back to this post to add more thoughts as they come.

Feels like the longer I keep going and things don't start looking up, it will be much harder to fight off the bad things that will start to fester. Worried about turning into a worse piece of shit human who's even more undeserving as the years go by. It makes sense that he chose to end his life if he was on this train of logic, because I feel the same way too. Not that he's an undeserving piece of shit human, he's not, but life really needed to ease up on his mental health and give him a fighting chance. It didn't. I hope that he finds peace on the other side. If it's that way, ending this joke of a life to find peace on the other side, heck I'm immediately on board. But the unproven is holding me back. But... if feelings get too intense and blocks out all other rationality, then I might blow up and end up doing it anyway despite that part of uncertainty.

 

[_unique_username_]

Theory:
We continue existing as some sort of conscience after death. The state of mind that you die in determines what sort of existence you'll continue to "live" in. Eg. Depressed, at peace, etc. Maybe committing suicide in a depressed state of mind, will make us continue existing that way until forever or until who knows when. But if there are people on the living side who wish you well strongly enough, it'll somehow ease your burdens on the other side. Being dead and unable to do anything about it, but only depending on people on this side. If their energies are strong enough, or if there are a lot of people to carry you through the helpless darkness.

Everything we go through in life becomes pointless if it all ends in a full stop after death. Which will be easier, if it really does all end in a full stop after we die. I would be in a hurry to end my life, if that's a proven case. Make all the arrangements for my departure, people close to me are taken care of, etc. They can continue being alive, but I just want to end my existence and be done with it. No more trouble and burden for everyone around me and towards myself. Say goodbyes and.. Then full stop. Easy. That would be the more convenient reality, because I've not been feeling this existence much. Been disconnecting and wanting to leave. I have access to many methods of self disposal here on this website, but nobody can prove what happens after we die. So it's still a tough decision. I'm not a gambler with something as big as this. Never have been a gambler.

 

[VoidDesirer22]

Maybe committing suicide in a depressed state of mind, will make us continue existing that way until forever or until who knows when.

Dumb theory founded on making those in pain fear finding peace.

The brain dies. Pain is experienced from the brain.

 

[_unique_username_]

Dumb theory founded on making those in pain fear finding peace.

The brain dies. Pain is experienced from the brain. Get over yourself.

I'm a stubborn piece of shit and no message will come through to me when delivered with such hostility.