I wish I was more convincing when I lie, I mostly just omit things. I actually really like my psychiatrist, after I got hospitalized she was really empathetic. A lot people had the whole "it's for your own good" and "keep you safe" bullshit stuff to say. She just apologized, and validated how traumatizing it could be. She said she had to ask me about suicidal thoughts after that, but would say things like I understand why you'd be hesitant and don't want to say anything which made me feel better about lying. She's pretty chill, and has been pretty honest about what a shitshow the mental healthcare system is, and just how much they don't understand and much and even less so when it comes to suicide.
I'm not really waiting for some kind of break in quarantine though. I'll go as long as I can, right now it'd probably be around June. If somehow not by then, then probably the end of the year. I think the only thing that would stop me is if my sister let me see my niece and nephews again.
