Venting "Just leave the country" "Just get the expensive therapy that you can't afford" "Start to behave like a normal person" "

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Fuck off, this is all so boring to me tbh, same talk every single day, same bs, same boring talk. I don't even wanna type anymore. I see people saying "it's not the end of the world" "it doesn't matter that much", my dear human, what I'm feeling is complete apathy to human life and to life itself, the traumas hurt too much, my genetic predispositions hurt me too fucking much, I despise the flesh suit and I don't want anything.

Give me any reason and I'll literally shoot it down and give my honest opinion about it. They then proceed to give me shallow reasons and then get angry when I say that they won't help me and explain why that is.

If I see one more person who tries to tell me that a relationship would be an issue solver or that drugs are the answer, I'll manifest a blunt object in their cranium.

And then when I'll die, suicide awareness, be aware of your loved ones, spread kindness, the fuck is that supposed to change? Nothing, they just want to feel a bit better 'bout themselves.

 

[sanctionedusage]

what I'm feeling is complete apathy to human life and to life itself, the traumas hurt too much, my genetic predispositions hurt me too fucking much, I despise the flesh suit and I don't want anything.

so few people understand the point where you no longer WANT to be happy or for things to get better because you no longer want anything at all.

its a bunch of people with a savior complex and low self esteem, ofc they get angry when you show them their own incompetency at the self proclaimed role of 'internet suicide angel' they decided to adopt.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

so few people understand the point where you no longer WANT to be happy or for things to get better because you no longer want anything at all.

its a bunch of people with a savior complex and low self esteem, ofc they get angry when you show them their own incompetency at the self proclaimed role of 'internet suicide angel' they decided to adopt.

This is mostly about people irl but online people are like that too from what I've seen, yes.

 

[AngelTear]

So true

Even people send me the number to the suicide hotline
WHEN I ALREADY TOLD THEM
I had called them before and
IT DIDN'T DO SHIT FOR ME

(honestly I could make a whole post with screenshots of all the bullshit people have told me)

People I think are the most selfish when you tell them you want to kill yourself
Because that shatters their happy little world or they have to care for someone else outside of themself
They just can't fathom why you don't want to be here or the fact your brain has a complete different chemistry than theirs
It's endless frustration and it just makes things even MORE pointless, the exact opposite of what the self proclaimed "I care about suicidal people" seem to want

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

So true

Even people send me the number to the suicide hotline
WHEN I ALREADY TOLD THEM
I had called them before and
IT DIDN'T DO SHIT FOR ME

(honestly I could make a whole post with screenshots of all the bullshit people have told me)

People I think are the most selfish when you tell them you want to kill yourself
Because that shatters their happy little world or they have to care for someone else outside of themself
They just can't fathom why you don't want to be here or the fact your brain has a complete different chemistry than theirs
It's endless frustration and it just makes things even MORE pointless, the exact opposite of what the self proclaimed "I care about suicidal people" seem to want

They care about you as long as you fit their cookie cutter formula of what a suicidal person is and the cookie cutter answer and problem solving they have.

 

[AngelTear]

They care about you as long as you fit their cookie cutter formula of what a suicidal person is and the cookie cutter answer and problem solving they have.

Yes! What's crazy is when I think about them, well 1 person in particular:

• They were like "there's never a reason" that bullshit while also admitting they had thoughts like that too
• Gave me the suicide hotline # for my country despite me telling them it's complete shit and a waste of time
• Told me to get therapy when I fucking told them it's expensive and practically impossible for me
• Told me I should have more humility?? Which idk what that even means...
• Said they ain't saying goodbye to me but hasn't contacted me or checked up on me since I told them about being suicidal

And those are just the things I can remember, not verbatim
I had other issues with them but
They really DID NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME
They just wanted to soothe their own ego
And it STILL makes me upset thinking about it today
Because there's SO MANY people like that

Ironically the nicest people were the ones who gave me suicide methods/options and supported my suicidal want...

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Yes! What's crazy is when I think about them, well 1 person in particular:

• They were like "there's never a reason" that bullshit while also admitting they had thoughts like that too
• Gave me the suicide hotline # for my country despite me telling them it's complete shit and a waste of time
• Told me to get therapy when I fucking told them it's expensive and practically impossible for me
• Told me I should have more humility?? Which idk what that even means...
• Said they ain't saying goodbye to me but hasn't contacted me or checked up on me since I told them about being suicidal

And those are just the things I can remember, not verbatim
I had other issues with them but
They really DID NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME
They just wanted to soothe their own ego
And it STILL makes me upset thinking about it today
Because there's SO MANY people like that

Ironically the nicest people were the ones who gave me suicide methods/options and supported my suicidal want...

I once talked with the mod of a subreddit and the previous comment which I necroed (well the thread of comments), it was like 6-7 months old was about suicide because of inability to work.

I just outright told him a bit 'bout myself, how I see the world and how many people can't get better.

We talked for a while, he actually responded which I was surprised and then in the end after like 15-20 minutes he said: Unfortunate for you but we are not here to help those that are beyond help, we don't care for them.

And I said something along these lines: well at least you're being honest about it, 98% of the population is too scared to actually say it out loud so I appreciate you for being honest.

At least I could trust this person or know them for what they really are, unlike the rest of earths population. I mean they just don't care and they're honest about it, what should I say. They only care about those that can get better because he wants more like him and less like others who don't get better BUT AT LEAST HE'S OPEN ABOUT IT. Edit: to clarify, they were not actively encouraging or laughing; they just had the attitude of someone who says "it's just nature or it's just life" but doesn't try to pat their own ego and think they can change something with empty words which I appreciated; I couldn't get mad at them for being that way because of their honesty but I just felt extremely lonely after obviously, knowing that their thinking represents 'bout half the population at least.

 

[AngelTear]

I once talked with the mod of a subreddit and the previous comment which I necroed (well the thread of comments), it was like 6-7 months old was about suicide because of inability to work.

I just outright told him a bit 'bout myself, how I see the world and how many people can't get better.

We talked for a while, he actually responded which I was surprised and then in the end after like 15-20 minutes he said: Unfortunate for you but we are not here to help those that are beyond help, we don't care for them.

And I said something along these lines: well at least you're being honest about it, 98% of the population is too scared to actually say it out loud so I appreciate you for being honest.

At least I could trust this person or know them for what they really are, unlike the rest of earths population. I mean they just don't care and they're honest about it, what should I say. They only care about those that can get better because he wants more like him and less like others who don't get better BUT AT LEAST HE'S OPEN ABOUT IT. Edit: to clarify, they were not actively encouraging or laughing; they just had the attitude of someone who says "it's just nature or it's just life" but doesn't try to pat their own ego and think they can change something with empty words which I appreciated; I couldn't get mad at them for being that way because of their honesty but I just felt extremely lonely after obviously, knowing that their thinking represents 'bout half the population at least.

I know most people really don't care about suicidal people like that
But damn it still hurts to hear it
At least he was honest

 

[Cauliflour]

People just don't like my reason as to why I am the way I am, so they come up with their own reason and try to force me the solution. Thankfully they're not very good at it and sorta seem to forget.

 

[jatty]

so few people understand the point where you no longer WANT to be happy or for things to get better because you no longer want anything at all.

its a bunch of people with a savior complex and low self esteem, ofc they get angry when you show them their own incompetency at the self proclaimed role of 'internet suicide angel' they decided to adopt.

Fucking seriously.
I know my own self and my life. Im not getting better and a part of that is because i just wont and dont want to.
You know how much work that is? To get over trauma and treatment resistant disorders?
Its seriously not worth it. I dont care anymore. And that's incomprehensible to people.

And the fact most advice is "just do the thing to fix yourself"
um.. dude

 

[TAW122]

This. I hear a lot of similar platitudes throughout my life, especially IRL, whether it be with just people in social settings, other groups, or even in the workplace. I can understand your anger and indignance towards such shallow, hollow platitudes. What you said is really spot on, people say many things not for the benefit of those who are suffering (even if they pretend or tell themselves they do - which they are just lying), but mainly for their own personal appeasements.

@AngelTear Yes, I concur with your sentiments really well. The people who have been the most helpful are the ones who provide method information, do not question or try to censor discussion of heavy topics and even the most stigmatized ones (suicide and right to die for instance). I'm grateful to have a community on SaSu that is a haven for my darkest thoughts and being able to express myself without judgment, scrutiny, or any of the nonsensical bullshit that is everywhere else (IRL and just about the other 99% of spaces out there).