Just got my SN

[Muse]

Hi there.
I received my SN from i.c very quickly. Things has been worse recently. I am financially broken even if I have a full time job because of my ex who took all my money. My boyfriend told me again that he won't leave his wife although he promised me to do it 2 weeks ago. Always the same lies.

I feel alone, rejected, tired, empty...

I am afraid but I planned to ctb soon. I am more afraid than I thought. I am terrified. I need your help. Life is a nightmare but I am afraid to suffer while dying.

 

[2dietmrow]

I wish you all the best, I hope you're successful. Life truly sucks

 

[london3]

Hi there.
I received my SN from i.c very quickly. Things has been worse recently. I am financially broken even if I have a full time job because of my ex who took all my money. My boyfriend told me again that he won't leave his wife although he promised me to do it 2 weeks ago. Always the same lies.

I feel alone, rejected, tired, empty...

I am afraid but I planned to ctb soon. I am more afraid than I thought. I am terrified. I need your help. Life is a nightmare but I am afraid to suffer while dying.

Hi i am glad you have received your SN. I am very sorry about your situation and how life can be absolutely terrible. I hope you feel better soon and not afraid.

 

[Julgran]

Hi there.
I received my SN from i.c very quickly. Things has been worse recently. I am financially broken even if I have a full time job because of my ex who took all my money. My boyfriend told me again that he won't leave his wife although he promised me to do it 2 weeks ago. Always the same lies.

I feel alone, rejected, tired, empty...

I am afraid but I planned to ctb soon. I am more afraid than I thought. I am terrified. I need your help. Life is a nightmare but I am afraid to suffer while dying.

If I'm not mistaken, the core of your problematic situation is that you haven't been exactly sure whether your boyfriend would decide to live with you, or not, which then has spiralled out of control and affected your financial situation.

It seems like you would be better off not hoping to live with this man in the future. If so, could you move in with someone - such as your parents or friends - and try to rebuild your life slowly, but surely...?

In case you don't wish to continue living, you already have your SN, which may be able to end your life on its own - you probably don't need to worry about that at all

 

[8evergo]

good luck

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are in this horrible situation. Life is just so cruel and I know that it is hard to carry on when you suffer so much. To me it is terrible the way that many people treat others. I hope that in whatever you do, you find relief from what you are going through. I wish you the best.

 

[Muse]

Thank for your words. My ex, who is my daughters father, is a brilliant manipulative man. He has much money but he makes me paying all the bills, taxes etc. Manipulate me using our kids. I was a fool.

My actual boyfriend doesn't want a future with me... we hide from everyone. That's difficult to be his dirty little secret. Every month he promised and after he changes his mind. 2 weeks ago he said he was determined to be with me and tonight "I am sorry I can't, my kids will be mad, blabla, I'm to old for you etc. Etc."

It's been the cherry on the cake.

I have my parents but I can't live with them because they live far away from my work.

There is nothing left for me.

 

[virgilwalks]

What about a roommate / someone to share expenses.

 

[adventurer]

much like you, i fear being in agony even in my dying moments, so i'm avoiding CTB via a drug or poison. i hope that, in one way or another, either through life or through death, you find the way to the peace you need.