Venting just feeling shitty, i mean what’s new?

[synthcadia]

i'm just feeling shitty right now. i mean what's new?

i just want to cry and cry and cry. i feel like my parents hate me. i hate myself a lot right now.

i'm passively thinking about ctbing. tbh when i got the money i maybe would get SN but i don't know the legality in finland. i don't want to get deported.

i just want everything to end. i want my parents to back off, i think.

i want to apologize, i want to cave. but i know i shouldn't.

they are so disappointed in me. i am a disappointment. i know i am.

tbh i don't think my partner deserves me. sometimes i am afraid that they will leave me. they are so kind and caring. i don't deserve it.

maybe this is karma for my actions in my life. i don't know.

i am fucked up, i know i am. i just wish i wasn't.

and i am scared that my parents won't approve of my partner. so scared.

i just don't know what to do, how to handle this. nothing i do is ever good enough.

i think that ctbing would be better for everyone.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Don't be so hard to yourself! Your partner deserves you and you deserve your partner! I don't believe in karma. Everything will go well if you believe in it. I send you a big *virtual HUG*

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

If both you and your partner make each other happy then that's all that matters.
You don't need the approval of your parents to be happy.
I honestly wouldn't be too hard on yourself.