Just discharged from the psych ward

[Grave]

As the title says, I was just discharged yesterday from the pysch ward (not my first admission).

I couldn't believe that the consultant believed me when I said I was no longer experiencing suicidal thoughts, and discharged me after only a week long admission. The staff there were horrible, very strong on restraints and forcing medication, as well as a generally unsafe environment where I managed to get a razor from - I hope to never go back.

I've struggled with SI for a while now and living with my parents I have limited means to ctb discreetly. I'm not sure if now is my time to ctb or whether I have more to live for, I think it is this uncertainty that is a sign I should not ctb yet, though it does seem increasingly appealing.

I have always tried to build a successful life for myself, should my attempts fail (which they obviously have so far) but it is my self destructive nature that always screws this life up and makes me want to ctb even more.

I think this forum is immeasurably invaluable in keeping me alive and well in that I can find a place to talk freely with like-minded people.

 

[SVEN]

I'd agree with you that if we're not entirely sure it's the time to go it's best to wait. Every good wish to you, I hope that things go better for you irrespective of your final decision.

 

[voyager]

Good for you. It's amazing to what lenghts they'll go to force their views on us on how we are supposed to feel about our lives.

Hope it goes better for you this time.

 

[Division Day]

When I was briefly an inpatient I was also thinking "Wow! I must be such an amazing liar to convince them in 4 days that I've gone from massive OD to no suicidal intent"

But looking back, I think he just didn't really care and was happy to free up a bed with enough denials in the file to prevent him getting in the shit if I went home and immediately did it.

Anyway, it's good that you got free. If you're not sure, it's not the right time. It's a very permanent decision if you get it right.