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Chaosire

Chaosire

Literally insane, legally speaking
Sep 23, 2024
134
Hi,
I'm not new to this website. Been a lurker for quite a while, but finally decided to make an account.

For the past 2 months, I've desperately been trying to get a crisis psychiatric intake. I have had multiple intakes, in the past, and know it does a good job at stabilising me and getting me on track for recovery again.

Yesterday, I got a call that my intake starts this Wednesday (tomorrow). It'd be 4 weeks of residential treatment and then 2 weeks of day therapy.
Today, I called it off.

I've spent about 3 years in psych wards, so far. I've seen a lot of different kind of psych wards. This ward.. is the worst of them all, imo. It's a BPD specific wing with a strict DBT regiment.
It works so fucking well for so many people. If you have borderline, you got to try it before you try to CBT.
I seem to be one of the unlucky few on whom it didn't fully work. It still was a vast improvement over my situation before and I use the skills I learnt there, during the 8 month full course, every day.

But I also had to go over my own limits everyday. We had intensive therapy, after therapy consults, chores, homework, .. a lot was going on.

I'm not doing well atm. I have so many urges to either ctb or hurt myself. But I feel so depressed I don't even have the energy to either of those.
There's no way I can succeed in a high intensity therapy curriculum.. I'd just crash even harder.
But I do need an actual crisis intake, I feel. A safe environment, nurses to talk to when I'm close to an attempt, just.. not having to worry about making food or anything else that drains my energy and prevents me from fully focus on getting better.

I have tried asking my professional network for it.. but their consensus is that I've had specific therapy, so I just need a 6 week refresher of that specific therapy.
I think my only option left is a forensic crisis intake. But idk if I should go for that.
 
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