DrownedOctopus
Experienced
- Mar 2, 2019
- 246
If anybody reads my posts regularly, you'd know nobody in my life knows my struggles except my husband.
Some know I'm depressed, but for the most part I don't talk about it.
Lately I've been in such a bad place in my head, every moment I'm alone I can't stop myself from crying. Even while I'm sitting on the toilet, the tears just keep coming. I have a hard time keeping myself from breaking down in front of others, and it's getting harder and harder to make it stop once it's started.
So, to not raise suspicion or concern as to why I fell off the face of the planet, I had to text my two closest and best friends.
I could have given some dumb reason why I'm shutting my phone off, but I'm just too tired to think of a lie I'll have to remember and keep up.
So I told them some semblance of the truth.
It is the closest I've ever explained to anyone else just how not okay I am. I was so scared after I sent the text I was shaking/trembling.
My friend's response made me cry so hard because it explained he cares, and a lot..and I feel so guilty it isn't comforting like he wants it to be. I didn't cry because I felt relieved, I cried because it scares the shit out of me.
Some know I'm depressed, but for the most part I don't talk about it.
Lately I've been in such a bad place in my head, every moment I'm alone I can't stop myself from crying. Even while I'm sitting on the toilet, the tears just keep coming. I have a hard time keeping myself from breaking down in front of others, and it's getting harder and harder to make it stop once it's started.
So, to not raise suspicion or concern as to why I fell off the face of the planet, I had to text my two closest and best friends.
I could have given some dumb reason why I'm shutting my phone off, but I'm just too tired to think of a lie I'll have to remember and keep up.
So I told them some semblance of the truth.
It is the closest I've ever explained to anyone else just how not okay I am. I was so scared after I sent the text I was shaking/trembling.
My friend's response made me cry so hard because it explained he cares, and a lot..and I feel so guilty it isn't comforting like he wants it to be. I didn't cry because I felt relieved, I cried because it scares the shit out of me.