Just can't anymore

[complex]

I have been on this site a while now and so disappointed am still here . Its been great for knowledge and a place of understanding but i really had hoped my attempt would be it but SI prevented it being so!!!! I hope to silence SI soon and leave as this inner pain and outer embarrassment is to dam much!!! No one here knows me now as many have already passed or left the site and yet i remain!!!
PLEASE I BEG MY MIND AND BODY TO LET THIS ATTEMPT NOT BE JUST AN ATTEMPT!!!

 

[rainwillneverstop]

hugs complex I feel I overstayed too.

 

[complex]

hugs complex I feel I overstayed too.

Ur welcome to 'overstay' i have overstayed in the world xx

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I should already be gone as well. Si is a bitch to overcome.

 

[complex]

I should already be gone as well. Si is a bitch to overcome.

Glad u replied as feel only one to still fight SI with so many here having left that were not seeming as adamant as me to ctb!! How does ur SI manifest ??

 

[dontwakemeup]

I'm sorry life hasn't been enjoyable for you. I definitely understand how you feel, I just can't anymore either. Please be careful and make sure you plan is a reliable one. I know sometimes we want to go now and try just about anything. Whatever you decide, I truly hope you get it. I wish the others had left us their blueprints.

 

[complex]

I'm sorry life hasn't been enjoyable for you. I definitely understand how you feel, I just can't anymore either. Please be careful and make sure you plan is a reliable one. I know sometimes we want to go now and try just about anything. Whatever you decide, I truly hope you get it. I wish the others had left us their blueprints.

Both ways are a done deal if i don't 'bottle it' !!! One with the pills is more easy for SI to handle but means sitting with it longer as i pass and the other method is triggering as messed it up on attempt and each time i prep now my brain remembers my mess up and i freak and back down

I'm sorry life hasn't been enjoyable for you. I definitely understand how you feel, I just can't anymore either. Please be careful and make sure you plan is a reliable one. I know sometimes we want to go now and try just about anything. Whatever you decide, I truly hope you get it. I wish the others had left us their blueprints.

Am sorry u find yourself not being able anymore! Xx message if it helps

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Glad u replied as feel only one to still fight SI with so many here having left that were not seeming as adamant as me to ctb!! How does ur SI manifest ??

I am absolutely terrified of dying so my SI is fear based. I have severe anxiety just trying to plan it. My method would be hanging. I prefer partial but that has a higher failure rate. Full suspension really scares me.

 

[dontwakemeup]

Either option won't make you happy, it just makes it a little easier to deal with everything. What do you think would help you? You have been feeling like this since childhood and makes me wonder how was your childhood? I wish one day we will have the right to exit when we are ready.

 

[wham311]

I am scared of the pain and fucking up. Today was the first time I cared about now my mom would feel. She was crying I was still alive when I saw her today.

This sucks.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so tired of suffering, I get that it's torturous feeling trapped in this existence, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[cowboypants]

I am still here complex...T_T

 

[Dejected 55]

I think the more painless way you try the less the survival instinct will be prompted. I mean, it might still be there... but if you are in pain physically or struggling to breathe or anything really uncomfortable, that instinct is going to really kick in hard... so if you're able to manage one of the least painful methods, I would hope that helps. That is what I'm banking on.

The closest thing I can compare to since I haven't attempted yet... I have phone anxiety. It is hard for me to call anyone on the phone I don't know well. It gets easier over time, but the first time I have to call someone new... it can take me hours of pacing and agonizing over it... but it's all just in my head, no actual physical pain... and eventually I can struggle through it. BUT if touching a phone caused me physical pain too? There'd be no way I could go through with it.

 

[complex]

I am absolutely terrified of dying so my SI is fear based. I have severe anxiety just trying to plan it. My method would be hanging. I prefer partial but that has a higher failure rate. Full suspension really scares me.

I have my rope and noose too and tried the feel of partial and think i cld without fear but its the fight of someone having to find that scene!!

I am still here complex...T_T

Loves ya xx

I think the more painless way you try the less the survival instinct will be prompted. I mean, it might still be there... but if you are in pain physically or struggling to breathe or anything really uncomfortable, that instinct is going to really kick in hard... so if you're able to manage one of the least painful methods, I would hope that helps. That is what I'm banking on.

The closest thing I can compare to since I haven't attempted yet... I have phone anxiety. It is hard for me to call anyone on the phone I don't know well. It gets easier over time, but the first time I have to call someone new... it can take me hours of pacing and agonizing over it... but it's all just in my head, no actual physical pain... and eventually I can struggle through it. BUT if touching a phone caused me physical pain too? There'd be no way I could go through with it.

I have phone anxiety just like that!!! Thanks my method the main one is basically painless but MY MUM!!!! How can i arghhhhh

I think the more painless way you try the less the survival instinct will be prompted. I mean, it might still be there... but if you are in pain physically or struggling to breathe or anything really uncomfortable, that instinct is going to really kick in hard... so if you're able to manage one of the least painful methods, I would hope that helps. That is what I'm banking on.

The closest thing I can compare to since I haven't attempted yet... I have phone anxiety. It is hard for me to call anyone on the phone I don't know well. It gets easier over time, but the first time I have to call someone new... it can take me hours of pacing and agonizing over it... but it's all just in my head, no actual physical pain... and eventually I can struggle through it. BUT if touching a phone caused me physical pain too? There'd be no way I could go through with it.

I have phone anxiety just like that!!! Thanks my method the main one is basically painless but MY MUM!!!! How can i arghhhhh