Story Just another guy with a story

[seekinghelp321]

Our happiness and sadness are just dependent on the society. It's very tough to swallow but ya it's not dependant on us.
I am a professional cricket player and nowadays I always feel like I am not good enough like I used to be yet I'm just 17. My father my uncle my coaches always gives me stress and pressure about my performance and they keep this unbelievably high expectations from me and I always disappoint them I always fail to satisfy them with my performance.its like I'm living for them. I'm a puppet of their lives. and I'm tired of all of this from past 1 year. And I have realised everything is meaningless and painful. I have lived my 99% of my time in sadness and mental emotional pain in the last year. And I surely feel like I'm done from this pain I wish to be free and feelingless.

 

[Kit1]

It is not fair that you are living for everyone else apart from yourself. Could you walk away (which will be extremely difficult to do given your age) and actually just live for yourself?

Who is the real you? What are your interests, hobbies and passions? What would you like to do in life? Is there a trusted adult you could speak to who can support you and speak with all these people who are trying to live their dreams through you - and in essence using you?

 

[seekinghelp321]

It is not fair that you are living for everyone else apart from yourself. Could you walk away (which will be extremely difficult to do given your age) and actually just live for yourself?

Who is the real you? What are your interests, hobbies and passions? What would you like to do in life? Is there a trusted adult you could speak to who can support you and speak with all these people who are trying to live their dreams through you - and in essence using you?

I really like playing this sport but people around me made it like hell. They made it like it's not even fun anymore like how it was used to be. I can't just walk away. I wish I could. I had really good understanding friends but then everyone left the country to study abroad and got busy with their own relationships and life as they are 3-4 years older than me and now I'm all alone fighting and struggling and suffering for I don't even know what. I wanted to study psychology and play cricket which I loved to do and my father is a doctor so he forced me into studying medical which I hated. he did support me in my passion cricket like he provided me and he still does but he puts this tremendous amount of pressure on me and tries to live his cricketing dream through me. There was this friend of mine who I used to talk and play video games everyday and share my problems with and he was best friend for me. But I wasn't for him…he has so many close people who are there for him and I am really happy and sad at the same time. As I am writing all this while crying and explaining it to a complete stranger.. thanks for listening.I am just alone and wish to be free.

 

[Kit1]

I really like playing this sport but people around me made it like hell. They made it like it's not even fun anymore like how it was used to be. I can't just walk away. I wish I could. I had really good understanding friends but then everyone left the country to study abroad and got busy with their own relationships and life as they are 3-4 years older than me and now I'm all alone fighting and struggling and suffering for I don't even know what. I wanted to study psychology and play cricket which I loved to do and my father is a doctor so he forced me into studying medical which I hated. he did support me in my passion cricket like he provided me and he still does but he puts this tremendous amount of pressure on me and tries to live his cricketing dream through me. There was this friend of mine who I used to talk and play video games everyday and share my problems with and he was best friend for me. But I wasn't for him…he has so many close people who are there for him and I am really happy and sad at the same time. As I am writing all this while crying and explaining it to a complete stranger.. thanks for listening.I am just alone and wish to be free.

You sound so sad and I am listening to you and remember a conversation that my son (who si now 19) had with me when he was about 7/8. I really wanted him to learn flute, karate and cricket and had registered him for all of those by the ago of 5. He attended and learnt them. But then when he was about 7/8, he told me that he is really not enjoying the intensity of learning flute or karate and I could see his point of view - in the end, he dropped out of all those three classes. I never told him, but I felt sad for both of us - for him that I had sent him to classes that he was not happy with and with me for being a terrible mum. He still plays cricket occasionally and lives playing chess, going to the gym etc. It is okay to enjoy doing something with having to be at a competitive level. Are you able to connect with other people who love playing video games? Are you able to speak to your dad and explain to him exactly how miserable and unhappy you are feeling? Most parents just want their children to be happy, healthy and be contentvwith their life - but unconsciously can be guilty of trying to live their dreams through their children.., I am only trying to message you again as you are still very young for this situation to be turned to your benefit - but it will require firmness and tactful communications with hopefully a parent who is willing to acknowledge the mistakes that he is making and put it right for you. Good Luck with whatever you decide to do. And please reach out to us on this forum for support and a listening year. Best wishes.

 

[seekinghelp321]

Thanks for understanding and listening to me. I really understand and acknowledge your concern about how every parent wants their children to be happy. And I am also pretty sure my parents have 0% clue about what's really going on with me and how unhappy I am and they are also unaware of how unconsciously they are hurting me. But my father's nature has always been very aggressive and rude towards me and my brother we had many fights. And he has never really showed or expressed his emotions to anyone. He never likes to talk about my or his feelings.for someone to be an actual doctor and not giving importance to mental health is really strange and confusing. I have tried many times to make him understand things but it always ends up really bad. I just wanted to love and be loved. But thanks for talking with me whoever and wherever ur in this world.

 

[tiger b]

Thinks someone has been testing us