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247sadgirlhours

247sadgirlhours

hopeless
Feb 16, 2023
20
that's it. no job, no hobbies, no talents, no friends. halfway through an undergrad degree i'm struggling every single minute of. i've "been trying" to make friends, get my degree, progress life forward for years now.

i was born so privileged. it eats me up inside what i've wasted. someone else in my position would already be an engineer. i'm pretty, and i'm smart. i'm just such a fucking loser that i couldn't transform those qualities into actual, tangible life progress. who cares if you're pretty when you're broke, no degree, no friends, no life prospects. maybe i'm not even that smart since i can't even finish my bachelor's or get my life on track.

i know i'm not "old". i know i could "start over". i know. i know i know i know i know. 25 years old on others is so young and vibrant. 25 years old on me is just washed as fuck.
 
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D

Dejected 55

Student
May 7, 2025
156
I shouldn't reply, because I felt all that at 25 and more... and people said I was young and had lots of time... but nothing really changed in the 30 years it has been since. Is it my fault? Probably. Does it matter whose fault it is that reality is what it is? Not really.
 
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DivineSpark

DivineSpark

Wizard
Feb 9, 2025
609
I am even older, no family, no career, just total loser.
 
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Ashu

Ashu

novelist, sanskritist, Canadian living in India
Nov 13, 2021
761
We are what we have to be. So let us forgive ourselves for the past, and hope, as much as possible, for the future, in which our capabilities and possibilities still cannot be known.
 
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swankysoup

swankysoup

Student
Feb 12, 2024
154
I feel like you are leaving out the bad things that happened to you that caused all this. Life is not impossibly hard for no reason, so try to cut yourself some slack.
 
D

Dejected 55

Student
May 7, 2025
156
I feel like you are leaving out the bad things that happened to you that caused all this. Life is not impossibly hard for no reason, so try to cut yourself some slack.
Not speaking for the OP, but speaking for myself... Even if I look at events in my life that were out of my control and not my fault.. at the end of the day does it matter? I mean, I have some things that are likely my fault... but I have experienced varying degrees of lots of things that nobody would argue are my fault or that I could have done anything to avoid or even handled any better than I did.

At the end of the day, though, stuff happens and if more bad things or enough really bad things happen, it piles up and becomes too much to bear.
 
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swankysoup

swankysoup

Student
Feb 12, 2024
154
Not speaking for the OP, but speaking for myself... Even if I look at events in my life that were out of my control and not my fault.. at the end of the day does it matter? I mean, I have some things that are likely my fault... but I have experienced varying degrees of lots of things that nobody would argue are my fault or that I could have done anything to avoid or even handled any better than I did.

At the end of the day, though, stuff happens and if more bad things or enough really bad things happen, it piles up and becomes too much to bear.
I know, i was just speaking about the self-shaming tone OP had, no need to blame yourself for something you couldn't control. How it affects you today is a different thing.
 
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,554
You're not a loser just bc you failed college/university. I failed and dropped out of university long before I was 25. That's not a death-sentence.
 
Michelstaedter

Michelstaedter

Student
Feb 25, 2025
112
In this world, we're all losers. Yes, we're going to lose, we're never going to win. If you're a believer, you might think that the only one who escaped death was Christ, but from that point on, all humans have been and will be losers. The rest is just part of humans' glamorous ideas to feel superior to others.

Oh, and these words are not consolation, nor am I a believer for mentioning Christ to you, I am just trying to be objective, because over time I realized what is the difference between a homeless person and a millionaire, well yes, their purchasing power, maybe their health and their physique, but if the millionaire dies first, the only difference is that the homeless person will still be alive (in theory the real winner) and the millionaire will die, although the homeless person will perhaps have a chance to rebuild his life, maybe even become a millionaire! but in the end he will also die.
 
N

NEETHELL

New Member
May 13, 2025
2
I'm also 25. I had to do an extra year to graduate but even so, without a bachelor's degree. I have yet to do the project, write the thesis and hold it. Been a NEET two years. I have a job for more than a year now but I so damn bad at I do not know how I have been fired. I want to quit it all.

I destroyed my life. I could've had it pretty good but here I am suffering cuz I am dumb
 
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247sadgirlhours

247sadgirlhours

hopeless
Feb 16, 2023
20
Not speaking for the OP, but speaking for myself... Even if I look at events in my life that were out of my control and not my fault.. at the end of the day does it matter? I mean, I have some things that are likely my fault... but I have experienced varying degrees of lots of things that nobody would argue are my fault or that I could have done anything to avoid or even handled any better than I did.

At the end of the day, though, stuff happens and if more bad things or enough really bad things happen, it piles up and becomes too much to bear.
you have encapsulated how I feel pretty well, honestly. bad things happen to everyone, and I'm not an exception. I agree with you in that it doesn't matter at the end of the day. I don't see much of a point in assigning blame on how my own life has gone because ultimately, I am responsible for myself.
 
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D

Dejected 55

Student
May 7, 2025
156
you have encapsulated how I feel pretty well, honestly. bad things happen to everyone, and I'm not an exception. I agree with you in that it doesn't matter at the end of the day. I don't see much of a point in assigning blame on how my own life has gone because ultimately, I am responsible for myself.
I'm glad... not glad about shared understanding, but glad I got it right. Sometimes I don't.

But, anyway... yeah, sometimes I do blame myself for things whether they are my fault or not... and that's a whole thing. But, I take no consolation when people will recognize that a particular failure or situation is not my fault. I mean, I'm still in the mess either way, and whether the whole I'm in was one I dug or not, I'm the one who has to figure out how to climb over it and fill it in behind me. Nobody but me suffers for being in that whole, and nobody but me is going to help me out of it or fill it in afterwards.

I wish I just would sometimes get to not fall into one hole after the other. A life of ups and downs actually sounds like heaven compared to my life of downs and further downs.
 

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