Just a vent post

[Whitewash11235814]

I'm at the point in my life where I can't even cry. I can't feel sorrow, joy, interest, sexual urges, or anything of that nature.

All of a sudden out of the blue I can't feel anything. It's like my psyche has been tampered with... I was hospitalized 3 months ago after my family and everyone else decided to play games on me for fun. They imitated me and tried to induce paranoia just for the sake of it. My entire life has been broadcasted to strangers behind my back. People don't realize this but this is a crime of the highest order. People kill them selves because of much less. My life has been difficult as is, but this shitshow went so deep it's beyond comprehension. Then, as if things couldn't get worse, I go numb.... completely numb as if my cognition had been stolen and played with for the "lolz"...

I can't go on like this anymore. What happened to me was a crime and nobody got charged for it. It was bullying of the highest degree. Like what world do we live in? I hope God takes charge and serves justice because insofar justice hasn't been served.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Hey honey..I'm having a hard time understanding. It obviously has had a very traumatic effect on u.. What did they do to u?

 

[Whitewash11235814]

Hey honey..I'm having a hard time understanding. It obviously has had a very traumatic effect on u.. What did they do to u?

They tried to induce paranoia. All of a sudden they became actors. I turned on the tv a moment later and there were labels of people I knew assigned to characters... I was like "wtf, how's that possible?" with words like "if you don't win, you lose nothing."
People read my mind, too. This is not intuition, this is logic, even tho it's hard to believe.
I went to the kitchen for some tea and red liquid discharged from a tea bag. In any case, God knows what happened.

They tried to induce paranoia. All of a sudden they became actors. I turned on the tv a moment later and there were labels of people I knew assigned to characters... I was like "wtf, how's that possible?" with words like "if you don't win, you lose nothing."
People read my mind, too. This is not intuition, this is logic, even tho it's hard to believe.
I went to the kitchen for some tea and red liquid discharged from a green leaf tea bag. In any case, God knows what happened.

And God will punish them.

 

[mesohappy]

Ive read a few of your posts on here,Sorry you are struggling right now.

I was wondering when you were hospitalized 3 months ago,what did they diagnose you as? Did they give you,or are you currently taking any medication?

 

[Whitewash11235814]

Ive read a few of your posts on here,Sorry you are struggling right now.

I was wondering when you were hospitalized 3 months ago,what did they diagnose you as? Did they give you,or are you currently taking any medication?

Use to only have depression but they diagnosed me as a paranoid schizophrenic, lmao.
I don't have this shit, wtf. Bunch of hogwash. Ignorance = strength.
If anything, they drove me to this state.
I'm on meds ofc...

 

[mesohappy]

Did they give you any meds for schizophrenia,and are you currently taking them?

Edit:Sorry I didn't see the last line of your previous post.So you started feeling the apathy after taking the meds?That sucks,man.Maybe you can speak to your doctor about changing the dosage or brand..Alot of the time they get it wrong at first and need to go back and readjust.

 

[Lostandfound7]

They tried to induce paranoia. All of a sudden they became actors. I turned on the tv a moment later and there were labels of people I knew assigned to characters... I was like "wtf, how's that possible?" with words like "if you don't win, you lose nothing."
People read my mind, too. This is not intuition, this is logic, even tho it's hard to believe.
I went to the kitchen for some tea and red liquid discharged from a tea bag. In any case, God knows what happened.

And God will punish them.

That sounds terrible..I'm sorry ur being tormented like this..:(
R u currently seeing a therapist or anyone??

 

[S1mpleme]

I could be wrong but its possible that meds cause this all or someone just add something in food and drinks.

 

[Whitewash11235814]

It's all about being James Bond. 7777777777777777777

That sounds terrible..I'm sorry ur being tormented like this..:(
R u currently seeing a therapist or anyone??

Yeah, even my therapist agrees my life is like a sci-fi movie.

Did they give you any meds for schizophrenia,and are you currently taking them?

Yes, it's not schizophrenia.
I'm that moon guy. Looool
Apathy started when the meds hit but I'm not sure if it's just the meds or who knows what.

 

[Brink]

I'm at the point in my life where I can't even cry. I can't feel sorrow, joy, interest, sexual urges, or anything of that nature.

All of a sudden out of the blue I can't feel anything. It's like my psyche has been tampered with... I was hospitalized 3 months ago after my family and everyone else decided to play games on me for fun. They imitated me and tried to induce paranoia just for the sake of it. My entire life has been broadcasted to strangers behind my back. People don't realize this but this is a crime of the highest order. People kill them selves because of much less. My life has been difficult as is, but this shitshow went so deep it's beyond comprehension. Then, as if things couldn't get worse, I go numb.... completely numb as if my cognition had been stolen and played with for the "lolz"...

I can't go on like this anymore. What happened to me was a crime and nobody got charged for it. It was bullying of the highest degree. Like what world do we live in? I hope God takes charge and serves justice because insofar justice hasn't been served.

We are going through something similar. I hope this doesn't freak you out because I know how f*'d it is when you're going through this and people present similarities.

Mine started when I threatened to sue an institution that misunderstood some things about my life. I blacked out and ended up in psych ward. It started when I was AT the hospital; people saying things that I say, copying my conduct and clearly making me paranoid intentionally. It slowly got worse when I was back in community. People were following me and imitating me and playing games with me. They got inside my head, I have no idea how. People wearing certain colours and talking about me but not to me. One by one the people I know have been getting involved - my partner, siblings, my own mum. I've been to therapy groups where they'd slyly remind me that I'm being watched. In my head I'd have a safe colour and then they'd be wearing it the next day.

It's been about a year for me. How about you?

Sometimes I cannot cry. Sometimes I cannot feel. I can't bear this any more too. The world we live in is so cruel.

 

[oopswronglife]

@Whitewash11235814

Please hear me. I am not dismissing you or invalidating you. I am not denying your suffering. I know it's words online but it's all I have to give. I know you don't want to believe you have schizophrenia, nobody would want that, it's terrible and painful. I know the world is unfair and wrong often and people are shitty and ignore or actively harm others for their own benefit. That's the real difficult part in deciding what is real and what is not...there IS a lot of bad. In fact many of us have the anhedonia you describe. it's s very real psychological thing with physical and hormonal causes. But...and this is not blaming you or fighting you...the things you are saying are textbook schizophrenic behavior. You've been diagnosed with it, you act like someone who has it. This doesn't mean everything you experience is in your head or wrong. It means you cannot trust what you experience and be a logical and definite arbiter of it. You keep saying "I don't have that" and it is clear you do. At the risk of sounding like those useless "get help" advice givers...you MUST get someone reliable in your life to navigate this because you cannot do it alone. It's not different than someone who needs assistance for their heart to pump right or for their kidneys to filter their blood...without it they cannot function correctly...that's your brain right now. These things like your life being broadcast...gangstalking etc...they aren't real. They are not. They FEEL real...but they are not.

 

[StateOfMind]

For more credible information on disruption programs ruining the life of innocent civilians please checkout r/AmericanStasi.
fightgangstalking.com is not a bad place to start also.

People subjected to this shit DO NOT have mental illness, please inform yourselves before making judgements! Though reactions to gas-lighting and other tact-tics may make victims not appear sane of mind.

I should also point out that these atrocities are being committed across North-AMerica and Europe - at least. It's basically high level oppression against people who have no chance of defending themselves. Absolutely disgraceful!