etoilecupid
Member
- Apr 14, 2024
- 26
this isn't the worst ive been but this is the most ive actually considered killing myself. like yeah, i come on here and talk about wanting to die, but im still here, aren't i? this time around i might actually get to doing it. i would stab myself in the jugular but i feel like that'd hurt too much and take too long, so im thinking of taking medication, or maybe finding a tall building to jump off. im also considering partial hanging, but my main concern is getting somewhere where no one can find me. i don't want anyone to find my body. ive already started the process of cutting off my friends. its not like i want to do that, its just better that way. i don't want to die if i have people around me. i used to hope for afterlife, but now i just hope that it's darkness and nothing else, as i could run away from my problems that way. i could run away from everything that way, and I wouldn't have the ability to think about it. just like going to bed without a dream except you don't wake up, just a moment of darkness that you can't place how long it's been. im not exactly sure when im gonna do this, probably before march though. It hurts to think about but I don't really have a future so it wouldnt even matter if i died anyway.
