Venting just a rant since i can't be bothered to be bombarded with "are u okay" messages.

[slashedpiel]

sidenote, i absolutely love this place. i can just talk about how much i want to kill myself without getting worried text messages.

anyways, i've picked back up on cutting myself after i was away for vacation last month. i've experience a lot of mood swings that made me filled with rage to just pure sadness. i just now understood people when they say sh is addicting. i love feeling the sting and knowing that i have some sort of physical proof that i'm absolutely hurting almost everyday. usually when i hurt myself, it's out of impulse but now i'm afraid it's starting to become a thing i'd want to do everyday. i can't afford to hurt myself on my arms because i'd definitely be hounded by family and knowing how my dad feels about people who've committed suicide, they're just going to constantly remind me of it. the thing i'm most afraid of is being stripped of my privacy since it's something i cherish the most. i know some parents can't help but think that it's somehow their fault that their kid is hurting themselves, but i hate how it's a bit selfish on their end for thinking that. being denied therapy for a good amount of my teenage years and now they suddenly care about how i'm doing just irritates me the most. the only emotion they can empathize with is sadness, but god forbid if i show any ounce of anger or hypomania.

thanks to anyone still reading/leaving a comment if you have a similar experience.

 

[Lonelyhotcake]

"Being denied therapy for a good amount of my teenage years and now they suddenly care".

Same here. They even gaslighted me to thinking my su*cide attempt was an accident.

I self-harm too, I want to do it but it's summer here and they're gonna know. It sucks.

 

[saringceiling]

I recently sh again after a breakdown too and do everything to hide it away to skip those interactions. The being denied therapy and now they suddenly care part hits really close to home, oh man. /:

 

[slashedpiel]

i love the summer time, but i hate it for that exact reason, smh.

"Being denied therapy for a good amount of my teenage years and now they suddenly care".

Same here. They even gaslighted me to thinking my su*cide attempt was an accident.

I self-harm too, I want to do it but it's summer here and they're gonna know. It sucks.

I recently sh again after a breakdown too and do everything to hide it away to skip those interactions. The being denied therapy and now they suddenly care part hits really close to home, oh man. /:

it's even more frustrating when they think you're supposed to be recovered after a few sessions like it isn't common for people to regress in progress in the beginning of going to therapy.