Venting “June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month.”

[FERAL_FRENZY]

Please refrain from coming in here and pointing out the obvious. This VENT POST isn't directed at all 4 billion men in the world, so use some common sense. I'm also not a "man-hating lesbian"or "femcel" or whatever garbage you wanna label me as. I don't wanna hear some weird gaslight-y response about me "taking things too seriously, and I don't wanna hear the typical "not all men" slop. No shit, Sherlock. Not all spiders are venomous, and not all berries are edible. In the event that you conveniently turn blind and are unable to read, I will be highlighting the words "some men."

Long ass rant incoming:

I'm so glad June is almost over, so I don't have to fucking listen to self-centered men bitch and moan about this whenever someone mentions Pride Month. They do this every fucking year, and they still haven't caught on to the fact that we're not buying into their flaky activism. I theorize that some of them lack the capacity to care about multiple things at once. It's always "either-or" with them; everything has to turn into a competition. As if some men can't be gay and struggle with mental health at the same time. Girl bye.


Let's not pretend that some of them actually give a shit about "mental health" either. It's still extremely common for some men to bash their mates for being human and daring to express any emotion that isn't anger.—

(Anger's still very much considered an emotion, but it often gets mixed up with just being "logical" or gets paired up with toxic "masculinity." Otherwise known as being an "alpha male" or whatever these tools call it. It's stupid.)

—Because then they'll say their friends's being too bitchy/ a pussy, or worst of all, "being gay/ a female," because apparently to them there's nothing worse than being a woman or a homosexual. I genuinely cannot fathom how some of them can stand to be friends with one other when they're so quick to slap that label onto anything they don't like. I've seen some men attacking other men and calling them "gay" for practicing basic skincare and hygiene. For some reason, they heavily associate it with femininity or women. It's stupid.


Some men love to hyper-focus on "men's mental health" until one of their mates comes forward about getting sexually assaulted, harassed, or abused. Because then the script flips, and all of a sudden it's: "I wanna be a victim!!!" / "You should've enjoyed it."/"Bro got lucky."/ "My turn." It's so much worse if their abuser happens to be a conventionally attractive woman. All hell breaks loose.

I am well aware that there are some men out there who genuinely give a shit about other men's feelings and openly advocate for male survivors of sexual assault. The men who'll open these conversations about mental health in good faith without tearing down other communities. They exist, but, dear God, there's not enough of them AT ALL. Either there's a shortage or they're not being vocal enough. What baffles me is that the group that seems to give them the MOST pushback are other men. This confuses me, because technically, aren't they on their side? They're trying to make things better for all men, and they still receive flak. So which is it, then? Do some men really give a damn about "mental health?" Or do they only pretend to care when it's convenient to them?

 

[Hvergelmir]

This is just a natural result of dividing people into groups.
Male groups are very much not the only ones with toxic offshoots.

Hopefully we can stand proud together in the future, rather than in groups, under specific flags and labels.
I sincerely believe that all those pride months and narrow focuses on various groups are ultimately destructive.

 

[FERAL_FRENZY]

This is just a natural result of dividing people into groups.
Male groups are very much not the only ones with toxic offshoots.

Hopefully we can stand proud together in the future, rather than in groups, under specific flags and labels.
I sincerely believe that all those pride months and narrow focuses on various groups are ultimately destructive.

That's the thing, though: Pride Month wasn't invented as a means of upstaging or overshadowing other communities and their hardships. It's simply meant to uplift members of the LGBTQ community and bring awareness to the challenges they face in their daily lives. Anyone can participate in it. Even if you're a straight, cisgender male, you can still be an ally.

I don't believe there's anything wrong with the general idea of bringing awareness to the challenges you face in your community, but some men are merely doing this in bad faith. They don't actually care about having meaningful, constructive conversations centered around positive change for men as a whole. AKA: They only care when it's convenient.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

All I can do in my thoughts is roll my eyes whenever someone brings up the subject of "men's high suicide rates". Although it may sound harsh, doesn't the problem illustrate how the mindsets that men and other AMAB individuals are exposed to and nurtured with eventually bite them in the ass?

Will the underlying causes be addressed? Partially, but more often than not, some arbitrary source will be held responsible.

 

[FERAL_FRENZY]

All I can do in my thoughts is roll my eyes whenever someone brings up the subject of "men's high suicide rates". Although it may sound harsh, doesn't the problem illustrate how the mindsets that men and other AMAB individuals are exposed to and nurtured with eventually bite them in the ass?

Will the underlying causes be addressed? Partially, but more often than not, some arbitrary source will be held responsible.

It's unfortunate because it seems like men are mostly the ones who get in the way of their own improvement. They're so quick to bring up the suicide rates as if they aren't one of the main contributors to each other's suffering. The whole Macho-Man/ Alpha/Sigma/Beta Male Omegaverse-type bullshit has them in fucking shackles.

Time and time again, I've seen people try to speak out against toxic masculinity and bring awareness to how it negatively shapes the way young, impressionable men end up viewing themselves and their peers. It cannot possibly be healthy to get belittled for simply being human and having bad days like the rest of us, or to be told that you're less of a man for daring to be vulnerable for once. It's heartbreaking. But despite our efforts, it feels like they'd prefer to stick their heads in the sand and ignore us. If that is the case, then I'd prefer they go back to "suffering in silence" or whatever they claim to be doing.

 

[Hvergelmir]

It's simply meant to uplift members of the LGBTQ community and bring awareness to the challenges they face in their daily lives. Anyone can participate in it. Even if you're a straight, cisgender male, you can still be an ally.

I cannot personally be an ally of a conglomeration of groups as diverse as "LGBTQ" or "men". It's not like either group has unified values or agendas.
I find pride based off gender or sexuality foolish.

I'd much rather promote more important attributes.

 

[Cinnamorolls]

Valid points and I will also note that the type of men you're talking about are also the ones who actively discourage other men from going to therapy/seeking help because the majority of therapists happen to be female, therefore these men devalue the whole concept, deem it worthless, and claim it couldn't possibly be useful for men.

 

[Josh007]

True, women have created a culture of growth among themselves. Men tend to be close minded and slow to adapt to modern social issues. It's really sad because while women have a bright future ahead of them of increased life satisfaction, accerating salaries, higher rates of education, and healthier relationships. Men can't really afford a worse moment of their lives because then they'll lose friends. lose their job, start doing drugs, and fall into a downward spiral of self destructive behaviors. The close knit social circles men have and their adversion of vulnerability makes it harder for a man to put its live together than it would be for a woman. No one cares about male social issues specially men. and it's only going to get easier and easier for men to self-destruct.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

I didn't know there was a month for it thats interesting

I think in some segments of society there are social expectations held by everyone that disproportionatly affect men. Most people usually expect men to provide for both themselves, their partner, and any children, and men who can't are seen as failures by many other men and women. This expectation isn't always the same for women (in some places) or may be even more harmful, but in different ways. There isn't usually an option for someone to be a "Stay at home husband" either because they'll be shunned by society at large or won't find a partner willing to be with someone who doesn't have a job.

A subgroup of men are also viewed as inherently suspicious or dangerous in ways that other people aren't. For example if I am walking alone behind a family with young children because I have to go to the same location, I'll slow down to put 20 feet between us or speed up and walk ahead of them so they know I'm not a threat. If I dont do that they'll stare directly at me with a concerned look like I'm a serial killer about to attack them. It hurts every time but it just is what it is.

Sometimes people have less sympathy as well depending on the situation.

This isn't to discredit the important work of women's rights though

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

The whole Macho-Man/ Alpha/Sigma/Beta Male Omegaverse-type bullshit has them in fucking shackles.

Never mention that word in this place again.

(Aside from that, I agree with your position on the subject.)

 

[cheyxnn]

THIS IS SO REAL PLEASE. It's the only thing they go on about as if they aren't the ones who actively uphold it. And don't get me started on their favourite buzzword bs of "well men have the highest suicide rates". Ok? And who chose to do that? It's almost like it was their decision so why should I feel bad over someone killing themselves when it was their active choice to do so - if anything it's better for them as they wanted to CTB.

And tbh this wouldn't irk me so much if it wasn't for the fact that they decide it's an appropriate time to say this whenever a woman goes on ab SA and other issues woman face (often at the hands of men). Like you have every opportunity to bring to light this problem and you choose then of all times - like sometimes it's ok to not speak, so just shut up. Furthermore I always see women posting ab men's mental health day and trying to make an active effort of helping and spreading awareness yet I've never seen men carry that same energy for women when it comes to their mental health or even men's mental health either.. It's clear they just pick and choose when they want to care about something and only use this pathetic argument as a means to combat women. Idk why they get so defensive with their "not all men" like use some basic literary comprehension and you'd understand no one's saying it's all men but instead how their demographic is more likely to contribute to things like SA. It's ridiculous, idk why some men act so whiny like honestly get a grip and cope, no one said they were referring to specifically you.

 

[lonely&trapped.]

It's unfortunate because it seems like men are mostly the ones who get in the way of their own improvement. They're so quick to bring up the suicide rates as if they aren't one of the main contributors to each other's suffering. The whole Macho-Man/ Alpha/Sigma/Beta Male Omegaverse-type bullshit has them in fucking shackles.

Time and time again, I've seen people try to speak out against toxic masculinity and bring awareness to how it negatively shapes the way young, impressionable men end up viewing themselves and their peers. It cannot possibly be healthy to get belittled for simply being human and having bad days like the rest of us, or to be told that you're less of a man for daring to be vulnerable for once. It's heartbreaking. But despite our efforts, it feels like they'd prefer to stick their heads in the sand and ignore us. If that is the case, then I'd prefer they go back to "suffering in silence" or whatever they claim to be doing.

Well personally, im sorry; but in my personal case my family don't give a shit about my feelings. If you actually don't want men to "suffer in silence", we should be listening to them without judgement.

 

[thedevilwithin]

i do agree with you. honestly, my personal experience as a man i just don't speak to anyone in my life about it. i know no one will really give a fuck anyway. whether they are man, woman, or psychologist.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I agree with your overall sentiment, but I disagree with who it is aimed at. From my personal experience: the majority of people who identify as a part of any group oftentimes have double-standards and hypocritical beliefs - not just men. As an example: look at how many individuals on social media will preach about "love" and "kindness", but will simultaneously make mean-spirited comments about those who they do not "clique" with; their lectures of kindness only extend to their own tribe such as close friends and family, or acquaintances who they strongly relate with due to having an overlapping identity.

Also: if the initial post in this thread was made by someone of the opposite sex, it would likely be labelled as sexist and misogynistic by multiple users. This proves that it is not just men who only hold beliefs when it is convenient for them.

 

[bb3300]

I've never heard anyone mention this.

 

[FERAL_FRENZY]

I agree with your overall sentiment, but I disagree with who it is aimed at. From my personal experience: the majority of people who identify as a part of any group oftentimes have double-standards and hypocritical beliefs - not just men. As an example: look at how many individuals on social media will preach about "love" and "kindness", but will simultaneously make mean-spirited comments about those who they do not "clique" with; their lectures of kindness only extend to their own tribe such as close friends and family, or acquaintances who they strongly relate with due to having an overlapping identity.

Also: if the initial post in this thread was made by someone of the opposite sex, it would likely be labelled as sexist and misogynistic by multiple users. This proves that it is not just men who only hold beliefs when it is convenient for them.

Do you mind further elaborating on the first part of your response? I may have a vague idea of what you mean, but I'd prefer to have a solid understanding anyway.

As for the second part:
The whole "Well, what if a MAN said this?" thing doesn't really work here since women are typically vocal about their feelings and mental health and don't feel the need to bring down other groups in the name of it. Maybe when I see women bashing each other for being vulnerable on the same scale that men do for each other, I'll give this some more thought. Women have put in the work to get to the point they're at today, regardless of the setbacks.

Well personally, im sorry; but in my personal case my family don't give a shit about my feelings. If you actually don't want men to "suffer in silence", we should be listening to them without judgement.

The energy you used to type this could've been put into scrolling up and rereading the last sections of my first post and this one. I'm pretty sure I'm advocating for men to be openly vulnerable while also calling them out for weaponizing their suffering against others, particularly the LGBTQ community. Reading is fundamental. Are we supposed to force them to change? If they're not open to that conversation, then there's nothing else that can be done. I'm not the only one who's fed up with the pointless bitchfests that go nowhere.

 

[innominesatanas44]

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Do you mind further elaborating on the first part of your response? I may have a vague idea of what you mean, but I'd prefer to have a solid understanding anyway.

Do you mean the part which mentions how people and groups hold double-standards? If so: this is supposed to be a response to the general argument(s) of your post. I understand that you are not attacking every individual man, and the criticisms that you have mentioned are actually true to an extent. The issue is that there is certainly a lot of generalizing language though such as: "they do this", and "they do that", and more importantly your whole post is directed at a certain sex, as if the criticisms you made are exclusive (or almost) exclusive to one sex. I think this is unfair.

Yes certain men definitely mistreat other men in the name of some warped sense of masculinity - which I do not believe in - there are also many women who mistreat men too, and there are also women who mistreat other women while preaching about "girl power!"; there are heterosexuals who dislike homosexuals, homosexuals who dislike transgendered people, transgendered people who are racist, and the examples could go on. Human beings oftentimes congregate with those who they can relate to, and their empathy sometimes only extends to those who are relatable too.

As for the second part:
The whole "Well, what if a MAN said this?" thing doesn't really work here since women are typically vocal about their feelings and mental health and don't feel the need to bring down other groups in the name of it. Maybe when I see women bashing each other for being vulnerable on the same scale that men do for each other, I'll give this some more thought. Women have put in the work to get to the point they're at today, regardless of the setbacks.

I was not trying to apply the "Not all men" argument if that is what you are referring to. The second part of my previous post is supposed to tie-in with the first part which discusses double-standards. Your whole post is themed around the sexism and mistreatment that women can receive from certain men; while your post could be viewed the same. You cannot talk about a group "tearing down" other groups while you do it too.

I am just tired of different people bring sex into everything, as if our sex is a species, or a personality trait; I have witnessed men on this forum attacking women for their own issues such as rejection, and I have also witnessed women blaming men for many issues in society as well. It needs to stop.

 

[FERAL_FRENZY]

View attachment 145621

Ironic coming from a user with a score of over 100+ messages. Enjoy the kitty though :3

 

[innominesatanas44]

Ironic coming from a user with a score of over 100+ messages. Enjoy the kitty though :3

I think you may have forgotten this
The tiktok logo in the corner of the obscure meme proves that you are certainly not chronically online.

I did not post that original with hatred, I want you to consider that if you are getting lots of negative feelings about this "Mens Mental Health Month", but most men, women, people have never even heard of this, then you fell for the bait, it was supposed to make you mad in the first place lol.
In nature, there is no such thing as Months, the concept was created by Romans. There is no reason to be upset about an imaginary problem of an imaginary thing. If social media is making you angry and creating false problems, there is no reason to use it. And know that there are agitators who profit of making people mad, and giving them attention puts money in their pocket. The internet is a joke. You should laugh at it instead of getting upset over it.

 

[untothedepths]

Literally love this post. Comment sections lament about a whole month dedicated to people who they have nothing in common with, but they act like it negatively effecting them personally when they could just ignore it, I guess. I actually am unfortunately well aware of some men who are like this, who have obvious trauma they told me about but project and judge the whole world with hateful vitriol. For one in particular, I've probably been judged myself as a "lazy do nothing piece of shit woman" behind my back..given how brazenly they have talked about others when I'm around. While their assertion isn't completely untrue, it would be a statement lacking any understanding of my own life and all of the nuances in it. Unironically, these people tend to vote a certain way, proclaim faith, and predictably seem to be the most angry, hateful, and unapologetic folks. I try to really keep my mind open and hope one day they'll stop believing that nonsense and embrace some empathy and humility but I'm probably wasting my time. I've also seen young men grow up believing in the nonsense and disgusting rhetoric such as Andrew Tate and what not. They'll believe Patrick Bateman, I kid you not, is some fictional character to idolize. When in reality the truth for as far enough forward you can look, its that mentality that has really fucked this planet up to an undeniable degree. It feeds into selfishness, apathy, enables abuse, and unironically worships violence. At very neutral, most of them will have broken relationships in which I hope they don't turn out to abuse their partner or children, and at worse they may do something awful to someone else because the cycle repeats itself.

I get I'm probably over analyzing this but...it seems pretty obvious to me. I'm also not saying crime or bad behavior is gender exclusive, for anyone who absolutely needs me to clarify that. I'm just talking about this in particular.

 

[Temporal_Anchorite]

Ah lovely, the male mental health understandsers have logged on!

Ya know, I always find it fascinating that men are one of the few societal demographics that you can openly vilify and face practically zero backlash for. Replace "men" with any other group or demographic of people based on their immutable characteristics and see how deranged you sound:

I'm so glad June is almost over, so I don't have to fucking listen to self-centered black people bitch and moan about this whenever someone mentions Pride Month. They do this every fucking year, and they still haven't caught on to the fact that we're not buying into their flaky activism. I theorize that some of them lack the capacity to care about multiple things at once. It's always "either-or" with them; everything has to turn into a competition. As if black people can't be gay and struggle with mental health at the same time. Girl bye.


Let's not pretend that some of them actually give a shit about "mental health" either. It's still extremely common for the black community to bash their homies for being human and daring to express any emotion that isn't anger.—

(Anger's still very much considered an emotion, but it often gets mixed up with just being "logical" or gets paired up with toxic "thuggery." Otherwise known as being an "alpha" or whatever these hoodlums call it. It's stupid.)

—Because then they'll say their friends's being too bitchy/ a pussy, or worst of all, "being gay/ a female," because apparently to them there's nothing worse than being a woman or a homosexual. I genuinely cannot fathom how some of them can stand to be friends with one other when they're so quick to slap that label onto anything they don't like. I've seen some black people attacking other black people and calling them "gay" for practicing basic skincare and hygiene. For some reason, they heavily associate it with femininity or women. It's stupid.


Some black people love to hyper-focus on "POC mental health" until one of their homies comes forward about getting sexually assaulted, harassed, or abused. Because then the script flips, and all of a sudden it's: "I wanna be a victim!!!" / "You should've enjoyed it."/"Bro got lucky."/ "My turn." It's so much worse if their abuser happens to be a conventionally attractive woman. All hell breaks loose.

I am well aware that there are some black people out there who genuinely give a shit about other black people's feelings and openly advocate for POC survivors of sexual assault. The blacks who'll open these conversations about mental health in good faith without tearing down other communities. They exist, but, dear God, there's not enough of them AT ALL. Either there's a shortage or they're not being vocal enough. What baffles me is that the group that seems to give them the MOST pushback are other black people. This confuses me, because technically, aren't they on their side? They're trying to make things better for the black community, and they still receive flak. So which is it, then? Do some black people really give a damn about "mental health?" Or do they only pretend to care when it's convenient to them?

As long as your incoherent vitriol is directed at the right class or demographic that is deemed socially acceptable to bash on, everything is kosher right? Something something muh patriarchy, something something male privilege, something something "toxic masculinity" Fuck outta here with your misandrist bs. And you can try to temper and qualify your statements with the word "some" as much as you want, but I would just direct you to the above example and tell me if "some" really dampens the inflammatory generalizations.

 

[FERAL_FRENZY]

I think you may have forgotten this
The tiktok logo in the corner of the obscure meme proves that you are certainly not chronically online.

I did not post that original with hatred, I want you to consider that if you are getting lots of negative feelings about this "Mens Mental Health Month", but most men, women, people have never even heard of this, then you fell for the bait, it was supposed to make you mad in the first place lol.
In nature, there is no such thing as Months, the concept was created by Romans. There is no reason to be upset about an imaginary problem of an imaginary thing. If social media is making you angry and creating false problems, there is no reason to use it. And know that there are agitators who profit of making people mad, and giving them attention puts money in their pocket. The internet is a joke. You should laugh at it instead of getting upset over it.

Yeah but it's called a "vent post" for a reason. I'm gonna air out whatever feelings I have regardless if the problem is "imaginary" or not. I usually sleep like a baby afterwards.

Ah lovely, the male mental health understandsers have logged on!

Ya know, I always find it fascinating that men are one of the few societal demographics that you can openly vilify and face practically zero backlash for. Replace "men" with any other group or demographic of people based on their immutable characteristics and see how deranged you sound:



As long as your incoherent vitriol is directed at the right class or demographic that is deemed socially acceptable to bash on, everything is kosher right? Something something muh patriarchy, something something male privilege, something something "toxic masculinity" Fuck outta here with your misandrist bs. And you can try to temper and qualify your statements with the word "some" as much as you want, but I would just direct you to the above example and tell me if "some" really dampens the inflammatory generalizations.

Then get the fuck off my page if you don't like what I have to say. I have no time to deal with your crying. You knew exactly what you were getting into when you opened this "inflammatory" post and yet you still decided to respond instead of ignoring it and blocking me like a normal person. It's like you WANTED something to be mad at. Fucking idiot. Once again you're proving that some men can't seem to resist making everything about themselves. "Male mental health understanders" my ass. I don't owe you shit.

 

[sugarb]

View attachment 145718

Ironic coming from a user with a score of over 100+ messages. Enjoy the kitty though :3

Yooo kitty

 

[sugarb]

THIS IS SO REAL PLEASE. It's the only thing they go on about as if they aren't the ones who actively uphold it. And don't get me started on their favourite buzzword bs of "well men have the highest suicide rates". Ok? And who chose to do that? It's almost like it was their decision so why should I feel bad over someone killing themselves when it was their active choice to do so - if anything it's better for them as they wanted to CTB.

And tbh this wouldn't irk me so much if it wasn't for the fact that they decide it's an appropriate time to say this whenever a woman goes on ab SA and other issues woman face (often at the hands of men). Like you have every opportunity to bring to light this problem and you choose then of all times - like sometimes it's ok to not speak, so just shut up. Furthermore I always see women posting ab men's mental health day and trying to make an active effort of helping and spreading awareness yet I've never seen men carry that same energy for women when it comes to their mental health or even men's mental health either.. It's clear they just pick and choose when they want to care about something and only use this pathetic argument as a means to combat women. Idk why they get so defensive with their "not all men" like use some basic literary comprehension and you'd understand no one's saying it's all men but instead how their demographic is more likely to contribute to things like SA. It's ridiculous, idk why some men act so whiny like honestly get a grip and cope, no one said they were referring to specifically you.

"And don't get me started on their favourite buzzword bs of "well men have the highest suicide rates". Ok? And who chose to do that? It's almost like it was their decision so why should I feel bad over someone killing themselves when it was their active choice to do so - if anything it's better for them as they wanted to CTB."

This is incredibly callous, especially considering the forum you posted it in and the fact that you yourself presumably are/were suicidal. Rail against men for only being supportive of mental health when it suits them and etc like OP is doing, whatever. but you're acting like male suicide is an unremarkable personal choice. How would you like it if somebody talked about you CTBing this way?

Many suicides are caused by external factors- loneliness, isolation, poverty, poor mental healthcare, trauma, various societal issues- and some of those are fixable. The point of men's mental health month is to try and do that for men because, according to the "buzzwords" (statistics), they're an at-risk group. There are zero reasons not to try and improve people's mental health and overall happiness when possible, especially when it can prevent CTB.

Trans people, the bipolar, and autistics all CTB at extremely high rates, too. But I'm sure that because they all chose that there couldn't have been any contributing factors that society should address.

Dunno who's saying you need to feel bad, but the actual point of the campaign is to bring light to a glaring issue and try to reduce it