jumping of 10+ floors or getting decapitated by a train?

[2disapearcompletely]

which is easier to do?

I was going to jump off from the 19th floor a couple months ago in june but I backed off because jumping took too many steps and I'm afraid of heights. The first step was to watch if someone is watching me, then the 2nd step is to go on the chair, then go on the table and climb over the glass balustrade and while I was doing this I was staring at the ground, and by that time there's a good chance someone would've noticed, got me out and callled the police and then I had to jump but by that time I would've gottent too scared and backed off.
But wouldnt it have been easier if I had xanax and alcohol? wouldn't it make me less scared?
I would rather get hit by a train but I don't know any fast train station near me. I'm in portugal. please help.
tell me what you think

 

[J&L383]

Either one is

 

[2disapearcompletely]

Either one is

please help me i cannot take it

 

[lowlife]

Please don't burden the train conductor with that. I know people in my extended family who have PTSD and such because of that very reason.

 

[Minjas]

Please don't burden the train conductor with that. I know people in my extended family who have PTSD and such because of that very reason.

As someone who has considered this method, when you're pushed to your absolute limits it's very difficult to care or have empathy when searching for a way out.

Studies have shown that every train conductor experiences 1-5 suicides during their career, and they are aware that something like that can happen.

It sucks tho and it's best to avoid it if you have any better options available