Jumping it is … tonight

[Soylent]

I have already made a couples of attempts. The first one was the closest one (I was on the verge of the dam), every others attempts I just turn around during the 5hours driving trip. Yesterday I talked to my family, they all said things very intelligent but I still want to go. I have a shit life.

I'm planning to jump from a dam that is 220-240m high in Europe. Sometimes the dam is open and water go through it, sometimes not. Originally I cared about this detail because I wanted to be discovered and be sure to hit the floor but RN I don't care anymore. I have seen video and even whit the hoses open I will hit the rock, and then be washed by the water, maybe lost in the current after.

I have made my emails, planned to send them after my death thanks to google gmail and I have attached a suicide letter in pdf to some of the people who where part of my life (family, ex girlfriend) and of course a will to explain what to do with my possessions.

Wish me luck, courage and strength. It's maybe my 7th attempts … I'm tired of this shit. I want to go before I have lost all dignity.

I don't have benzo or anything else to help me doing it. I can buy some alcohol but it a shit way to go I think. I want it to be a clear decision .

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I have already made a couples of attempts. The first one was the closest one (I was on the verge of the dam), every others attempts I just turn around during the 5hours driving trip. Yesterday I talked to my family, they all said things very intelligent but I still want to go. I have a shit life.

I'm planning to jump from a dam that is 220-240m high in Europe. Sometimes the dam is open and water go through it, sometimes not. Originally I cared about this detail because I wanted to be discovered and be sure to hit the floor but RN I don't care anymore. I have seen video and even whit the hoses open I will hit the rock, and then be washed by the water, maybe lost in the current after.

I have made my emails, planned to send them after my death thanks to google gmail and I have attached a suicide letter in pdf to some of the people who where part of my life (family, ex girlfriend) and of course a will to explain what to do with my possessions.

Wish me luck, courage and strength. It's maybe my 7th attempts … I'm tired of this shit. I want to go before I have lost all dignity.

I don't have benzo or anything else to help me doing it. I can buy some alcohol but it a shit way to go I think. I want it to be a clear decision .

Sorry life has brought you to this point, yet I'll be happy for you if you finally manage to leave this cruel existence behind forever and find the peace you deserve.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Godspeed.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so tired of suffering in this existence, I wish you the best with your plans and I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Wishing you all the best. Fellow jumper here. PM me if you would like to talk about anything related to jumping or anything else. I hope you find peace.

 

[Zegers]

May we find wellness

 

[SVEN]

Every good wish, whatever happens. Hoping you go well and peacefully.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Good luck! May you find peace! Safe travels!

 

[Some place nice]

Good luck and may you find your peace.

 

[mekurin]

Best of luck OP. Hope it goes well for you.

 

[Nlis2244]

Good luck, from a fellow jumper.

 

[アホペンギン]

Good luck. I hope you find peace.

 

[tinyghost]

wishing you the best of luck

 

[tiredone]

best wishes.
Hope you will find what you are looking for.

 

[Raindancer]

I wish you many good things, but most of all I wish you peace.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

sounds awful ): why is the world so terrible?
im sorry man. i dont know what to say. i dont want to say dont do it because i wouldnt want someone saying that to me either im tired of life too. i just wish things were different for you but oh well

 

[Gonnerr]

Good luck, I hope you escape peacefully.

 

[Soylent]

FFS it's snowing hard … there is like 10 cm of snow or even more. Can I still jump and succeed ? I don't want to be spare and be cripple by this stupid snow. I jump from a 220m high point. Maybe at this high a little bit of snow is not important right ?!

 

[Finalnight]

FFS it's snowing hard … there is like 10 cm of snow or even more. Can I still jump and succeed ? I don't want to be spare and be cripple by this stupid snow. I jump from a 220m high point. Maybe at this high a little bit of snow is not important right ?!

What if you slip and fall in a bad way? Idk, If it was me I wouldn't risk it and rather wait to jump when the weather improves. Whatever you decide good luck and safe travels!

 

[Soylent]

Well there is a ramp for jumper (bungee jumping) so I can't miss the jumping part. It's more the « landing » part that concern me. I really don't think it will matter, it's the first snow of the season, there is not a whole pack of snow like in GOT when Ramsay and Lady Sansa jump from the top of the fortress in the snow but still …

 

[dopaminedeath]

Idk if that much snow is going to do anything. Your jump height is pretty high based off this there is some guarantee

Listen to your instinct, you're the one who's there. If you need to wait, that's okay, right?

Good luck and Godspeed.

 

[Soylent]

Well with this little bit of snow it look like someone put a fresh thin blanket on earth. I will go eat something from the gas station, maybe buy some alcohol and wait till dark to do it or not. I'm still not sure, my brain keep dreaming about the past and possible futur. I'm not sad anymore, just very angry, lonely, and without pleasure or joy in me.

 

[Weltall]

Well with this little bit of snow it look like someone put a fresh thin blanket on earth. I will go eat something from the gas station, maybe buy some alcohol and wait till dark to do it or not. I'm still not sure, my brain keep dreaming about the past and possible futur. I'm not sad anymore, just very angry, lonely, and without pleasure or joy in me.

Take your time, and don't rush.
This is a very difficult decision for you.
Enjoy the food and drink, calm yourself, and approach your options again.

 

[Soylent]

The gas station is trash. No good food her, neither alcohol to pass the time. I'm not in a rush, I'm very calm. I might not be when I will be on the verge but I'm trying to sleep, but it don't work.

 

[Soylent]

Well it's Monday. I'm still here but don't want to. Went to the spot, could not leave the car. I slept inside and went home. On my way I was arrested by the police, forced to follow them to the station, had also a body search (naked). Took me 1 hours for nothing and no apologizes was given at the end. Great weekend …

I have a location near my place, maybe 30 meters high. I'm fed up driving, SI, spending money I don't have, eating shit food, energy drink that destroy my stomach, putting others at risk (accident) all this shit with the police every time I exit the highway (maybe because it's my 8th trip … who know ?!).

Is it high enough to kill me ?

I chooses the other location because of the height, but it's to much troubles to go there and came back because I chicken it out, maybe if the location was near my place, I would not have this kind of SI because I could stay at the spot all the times I need. In the other location I'm afraid every time because I'm not from here and it's look strange that someone stood there like a fool on a bungee jump spot at night with no light.

There is a few case of suicide in this spot. But the height is not that high … I don't want end up worst than I am now.