Joined a facebook chronic illness support group (bad idea)

[Suspect_Device]

So in a misguided effort to cheer myself up I joined a support group on Facebook for what I'm dealing with health wise. Holy fuck it convinced me more than ever that I need to just kill myself. I was somehow hoping for some positive stories but there were thousands of posts of just the darkest saddest shit ever. People talking about how their fourth or fifth spinal fusion failed and everything hurts, how to get around in a wheelchair, how they haven't slept in years. Sometimes there is just no way out of the shit you are in except for death.

 

[Glandular]

I know just what you mean. Earlier this year I was looking for support groups for my physical illness. The result was equally devastating. Almost every single post was about how bad it would get. With symptoms I haven't experienced yet (and hopefully never will). I was actually stunned how people could live with this much pain. The scenarios they described sounded like hell on earth, no quality of life left. Noped out real quick. Even my doctors told me that I shouldn't look up these cases because they would scare me so much lol.

 

[FuneralCry]

But why would people be positive in the first place if they are being tortured by health problems, I don't get it. People deserve a space to vent openly about how they suffer so much in this hellish existence they never even consented to being in, I find it terrifying how the decaying, deteriorating flesh prison that is the human body can cause so much unnecessary suffering. I personally don't get why anyone would wish to exist at all, as existing as a human who is capable of suffering so extremely is very burdensome.

 

[Scattered-Soul]

Unfortunately, that's the reality of it. There aren't always happy endings or positive outcomes even if you try to fight for them. Also it's either that or toxic positivity which just ends up making you miserable and misunderstood as well.

 

[LifeCanBeCruel]

Yup, and we're considered crazy and vulnerable for wanting out. We have so much to live for lol. Quality of life is secondary in importance to quantity for many, and it's actually insane as fuck how they believe that, and how most countries haven't legalised voluntary euthanasia yet. I hope in the future society looks back with shock and horror at these barbaric times.

 

[carac]

Look up "Dr Sarno" he saved my life. I always thought and was told I would only get worse and I just had to manage my chronic pain. Then I discovered I could actually cure it completely. It won't work for everyone but it might just work for you or whoever is reading this.

 

[baabbaabbaab]

I did the same but I disagree. For the first time I can share with people living the same horror. Many are talking about suicide and I feel at ease sharing my hellish of a life with them. Some fight through, some have milder symptoms... but all in all, it's reassuring to read that instead of stupid positivity.

But just like you, it strengthens my will to CTB : I feel I'm one of the severe cases from what I read and it confirms so far my feeling that there is no hope.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

These stories are always heartbreaking to read. I also have a chronic illness myself, and also had a family member with a similar (in etiology) autoimmune condition, but her case was one of the worst possible due to delayed diagnosis.

Throughout my childhood, I was forced to become accustomed to the constant sound of ambulances pulling up the drive, screams of pain, not knowing if my relative would live to see another day (as her disease eventually started causing organ failure) witnessing the aftermath of failed suicide attempts because the reality of her condition was too much for her to handle, and so much more.

I saw the ugly truth that was hidden from me in all of those optimistic success stories about "fighters" who don't let their illness win- and that was the reality that some people don't ever get better no matter how badly they wish for their body to be healed. From my early childhood and into my teenage years, I witnessed my relative deal with extreme weight gain from treatments that caused her to lose her marriage, infertility caused by a comorbid condition, breaking and dislocating bones constantly because they were so brittle losing her career, her house, all her friends, her dreams, only kept alive for years by treatments and surgeries that were forced upon her by others- all while having no quality of life at all.

Her pain was so great, I finally understood when I became an adult why all of those ctb attempts happened. She was living in hell. Yet everyone around us was always convinced she would get better somehow, even though there were no curative treatments available for the severe, rare form of the disease she had. All the false hope ultimately made it so much harder to watch her screaming and yelling and breaking everything in the house once she got out of her wheelchair, because she knew it was all futile even when no one else believed her.

Now, I finally understand all of this myself after years of incurable chronic fatigue, pain, and neurological symptoms. That sometimes there are no happy endings. That symptoms exist which can mystify doctors, can wreck your entire life, yet others may not even believe that you're truly suffering because they believe sickness is either cured, or kills you. They can't fathom what exists between those two extremes- the non-fatal, lingering pathology that accompanies one until the day they die. A special kind of hell.

 

[tiger b]

Look up "Dr Sarno" he saved my life. I always thought and was told I would only get worse and I just had to manage my chronic pain. Then I discovered I could actually cure it completely. It won't work for everyone but it might just work for you or whoever is reading this.

Looking into it. Useful, thanks very much.

 

[Suspect_Device]

These stories are always heartbreaking to read. I also have a chronic illness myself, and also had a family member with a similar (in etiology) autoimmune condition, but her case was one of the worst possible due to delayed diagnosis.

Throughout my childhood, I was forced to become accustomed to the constant sound of ambulances pulling up the drive, screams of pain, not knowing if my relative would live to see another day (as her disease eventually started causing organ failure) witnessing the aftermath of failed suicide attempts because the reality of her condition was too much for her to handle, and so much more.

I saw the ugly truth that was hidden from me in all of those optimistic success stories about "fighters" who don't let their illness win- and that was the reality that some people don't ever get better no matter how badly they wish for their body to be healed. From my early childhood and into my teenage years, I witnessed my relative deal with extreme weight gain from treatments that caused her to lose her marriage, infertility caused by a comorbid condition, breaking and dislocating bones constantly because they were so brittle losing her career, her house, all her friends, her dreams, only kept alive for years by treatments and surgeries that were forced upon her by others- all while having no quality of life at all.

Her pain was so great, I finally understood when I became an adult why all of those ctb attempts happened. She was living in hell. Yet everyone around us was always convinced she would get better somehow, even though there were no curative treatments available for the severe, rare form of the disease she had. All the false hope ultimately made it so much harder to watch her screaming and yelling and breaking everything in the house once she got out of her wheelchair, because she knew it was all futile even when no one else believed her.

Now, I finally understand all of this myself after years of incurable chronic fatigue, pain, and neurological symptoms. That sometimes there are no happy endings. That symptoms exist which can mystify doctors, can wreck your entire life, yet others may not even believe that you're truly suffering because they believe sickness is either cured, or kills you. They can't fathom what exists between those two extremes- the non-fatal, lingering pathology that accompanies one until the day they die. A special kind of hell.

Well said.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I'm in a few Facebook groups for my various illnesses, I understand what you mean. However, try and remember that the people who have gotten decent relief from their pain and sickness probably aren't posting in support groups on the regular. That's usually reserved for the worst cases.