Venting Job searching makes me want to die

[tryingtoquietdown]

Everything about it is soul-sucking to me. Looking at job sites, talking about possible careers, reading advice on how to do better, writing cover letters, editing resumes, everything everything everything. Whenever I talk about how exhausting it is for me, people respond with, "Well, they say job searching is a job in itself. Just don't spend 8 hours a day applying." I don't spend 8 hours a day applying. There are days I can't even finish one application without breaking down in tears and wishing I were dead.

I see people talk about how they send out so many applications and have so many interviews and still don't get any results. I'm lucky if I can get a single response from an employer. I have a college degree I thought was alright but now am convinced is useless. Every position requires 3-5 years of experience, even the entry level positions where I'm supposed to be getting the experience. I apply for any job I'm qualified for if the thought of it doesn't make me suicidal (unfortunately, retail jobs make want to slit my throat).

It's been almost 3 months and I am burning out. Everything about searching for a job makes me feel inadequate and validates my self-hatred. All I want is a way to make money that doesn't make me suicidal, but even that is too much, I guess. If I run out of my savings and I have to look to retail, I don't even know if I'd be hired because of being "overqualified." If I do get a retail job, I know it will be a maximum of six months before I try to blow my brains out. The only reason I went to college was to avoid spending a life working retail, but that's not working, so what's the fucking point? A useless waste of time and money.

Every day I am asked about my job search and every day I make up an excuse because CTB just feels easier than getting a job at this point. I don't think I'm being that unreasonable with my search. I'm still going for customer service jobs, just not ones in retail. I do my research and modify every cover letter, resume, and interview to what the hiring managers want to hear. I've taken classes and gotten professional help with interviewing, cover letter writing, and resume writing. I have two internships with great experience and three past jobs with even more.

I'm so tired of splaying out my history like a body on an observation table just for employers to not even look at me. I'm so fucking tired of every rejection feeling like a knife in the gut. I never know what to believe. People say "everyone is hiring" and "no one wants to work" and yet the ones that want to work are left begging for scraps. Since high school, I've heard, "Just wait 'til you're older, things will get better." "When you're in college, things will be better." "Once you're out of college, things will be better." "Once you get a job, things will be better." "Once you leave this job, things will be better." "Once you get a job again, things will be better." Maybe 'things' will be better but I have gotten worse. All I want is to be able to off myself without my family being hurt, but that's never going to happen, so in the meantime, I guess I have to pretend I'm okay and just live in agony.

 

[cali22♡]

I feel you user, I have been looking for an engineering internship for 3 months and now I have finally found one and I can finally pursue my dream job. . .

 

[whywere]

At the age of 68 and with the Covid aspect, I could write a library on this subject. The short answer is with ghosting and the like, the job-hunting aspect shows the worst in humans, as potential employers are complete JERKS now.

I was laid off in June 2020, because of covid and holy heavens was it beyond brutal. I would have a Zoom interview and the recruiter would not even show. Send emails wondering what was going on and nothing, dead silence.

Always try and remember 1 aspect, what goes around comes around, and I swear by that for the last 68 years. Case in point, back in March of 2018, a mental health doctor kicked me out because it was either 100% her way or the highway. Well guess what, just this past Saturday, I was shopping and lo and behold, who was right in back of me going into the store? The SAME doctor that kicked me out and boy did I have a field day asking her why she thought that I was lower than a snake's belly. She turned bright red and stormed off.

I send you all the huge hugs that I have in your endeavor and you are a winner.

Walter

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

eyes are killing me at the moment so i had to skip the post for now. i'll try and read it soon. yeah, job hunting absolutely sucks. i did get lucky early on though. it's all about who you know really.

 

[mtoro998]

I agree this is one of the most depressing aspects of life. If you dont lie on your resume you might never get those entry level jobs because everyone else is.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I relate although our personal situations are probably very different. I neither try to apply nor do I look at jobs bc it makes me suicidal and I have no chances anyway bc of lack of skills, no college degree, older age and so. I can really understand that job search is frustrating. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[Hitoribocchi]

Nowadays it feels impossible to even find a free internship for students. I've sent a dozens of cv's for graphic design, frontend and backend developer roles and got only one job interview. Right now I just gave up.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

i said i got lucky early on but then there was a merger and my boss was let go and eventually they got rid of my new boss. seeing my new replacement, i just knew right away my days were numbered. they came for me too eventually at a time nobody was hiring. i'd look and look but there really was nothing out there. plus my field was very specialized so there were very few places i could apply to.

this went on for a year plus. i'd get the rare interview and yes, i was applying to much lower paying positions so i got the stupid 'overqualified' b.s. as well. couple close calls but always just leaving me hope to never get a call .i think i hated the interviews the most. i'd get so nervous at times. i even once forgot a term i'd been using almost everyday!

what could i do? had recently bought a house so had to pay the mortgage somehow plus my gf at the time (should have dumped her then) were talking about marriage. i was even willinng to drive a cab but she said she'd leave if i did.

retail work. ouch. well at least there are tons of customer service experience to be had until something better comes along. well, maybe it's just an exercise in patience.

one day i got a call from my head hunter. didn't even need an interview. why? it was my old job lol. but they brought me back as a consultant (not an employee). when that project ended, i was let go again. wish you better luck than me!

 

[theboy]

i have never worked in my life and i really don't see myself working in the future because i feel like i will be doing ctb anyway. plus i'm scared of the job like i'm going to have a panic attack there.

 

[Mi Mi]

Everything about it is soul-sucking to me. Looking at job sites, talking about possible careers, reading advice on how to do better, writing cover letters, editing resumes, everything everything everything. Whenever I talk about how exhausting it is for me, people respond with, "Well, they say job searching is a job in itself. Just don't spend 8 hours a day applying." I don't spend 8 hours a day applying. There are days I can't even finish one application without breaking down in tears and wishing I were dead.

I see people talk about how they send out so many applications and have so many interviews and still don't get any results. I'm lucky if I can get a single response from an employer. I have a college degree I thought was alright but now am convinced is useless. Every position requires 3-5 years of experience, even the entry level positions where I'm supposed to be getting the experience. I apply for any job I'm qualified for if the thought of it doesn't make me suicidal (unfortunately, retail jobs make want to slit my throat).

It's been almost 3 months and I am burning out. Everything about searching for a job makes me feel inadequate and validates my self-hatred. All I want is a way to make money that doesn't make me suicidal, but even that is too much, I guess. If I run out of my savings and I have to look to retail, I don't even know if I'd be hired because of being "overqualified." If I do get a retail job, I know it will be a maximum of six months before I try to blow my brains out. The only reason I went to college was to avoid spending a life working retail, but that's not working, so what's the fucking point? A useless waste of time and money.

Every day I am asked about my job search and every day I make up an excuse because CTB just feels easier than getting a job at this point. I don't think I'm being that unreasonable with my search. I'm still going for customer service jobs, just not ones in retail. I do my research and modify every cover letter, resume, and interview to what the hiring managers want to hear. I've taken classes and gotten professional help with interviewing, cover letter writing, and resume writing. I have two internships with great experience and three past jobs with even more.

I'm so tired of splaying out my history like a body on an observation table just for employers to not even look at me. I'm so fucking tired of every rejection feeling like a knife in the gut. I never know what to believe. People say "everyone is hiring" and "no one wants to work" and yet the ones that want to work are left begging for scraps. Since high school, I've heard, "Just wait 'til you're older, things will get better." "When you're in college, things will be better." "Once you're out of college, things will be better." "Once you get a job, things will be better." "Once you leave this job, things will be better." "Once you get a job again, things will be better." Maybe 'things' will be better but I have gotten worse. All I want is to be able to off myself without my family being hurt, but that's never going to happen, so in the meantime, I guess I have to pretend I'm okay and just live in agony.

Completely understand
I wish I could make it better for you
I wish I could for everyone

 

[sundown12]

i feel you on this...i personally graduated with an absolutely useless degree, and now i have to look for basic jobs like barista or cashier, and i absolutely HATE being around people, it makes me wanna ctb. like i can't stand commuting every day and looking at soulless faces of people on public transport. my method of choice is partial hanging, but it's hard to get right, so i basically put off my ctb every day.

 

[madasco]

I feel you too. Even if you have a prestigious degree, if your CV is messed up because you job-hopped or changes industries too often, or have gap years due to illness or sabaticals, the search is soul crushing. Sometimes one wonders why even make the effort. At least you reckon your degree is useless, that allows you to start from 0, getting vocational training, or any monetizable skill. I hope you can turn your situation around.