I certainly very much envy those who are free from this awful world, I think it's a completely understandable way to feel.
In my case I could never envy anyone who exists as with existence comes the ability to suffer endlessly, I see nothing desirable about that, I only envy those who are gone as death is true relief from suffering, one cannot be harmed by not existing, it just sounds so incredibly peaceful to sleep for all eternity.
I really admire those who manage to leave on their own terms as I see so much beauty in the thought of permanent nothingness.