Jealous of people who had a loving and happy childhood

[Water-Lily]

My mother was horribly abusive. I could never do anything right she would call me horrid names as early as 6 years old. She convinced me I was a bitch and retarded, beat me with belt buckles to where I have scars, pushed me down stairs, and just always teared me down psychologically. And whenever I told anyone she got a pass cause "shes a mom who loves me and is just stressed". When I connect with people who had good childhoods there comes a shade over me. I cant feel happy for them. I feel jealous. they got what I can never relate to you and it makes me want to give up on life all together our of jealousy and shame. Knowing my life cant ever be normal like their own.

 

[AprilsBlessings]

I feel you so much, i've been through the same thing but with my sister who's 10 yesrs older than me, all of my family knew about it but they didn't do anything to stop her, even my mom.

and now everybody in my family thinks that i'm evil because i hate my sister.

sending you lots of hugs & love <3

 

[Water-Lily]

I feel you so much, i've been through the same thing but with my sister who's 10 yesrs older than me, all of my family knew about it but they didn't do anything to stop her, even my mom.

and now everybody in my family thinks that i'm evil because i hate my sister.

sending you lots of hugs & love <3

Thats disgusting. I am so sorry *hugs*. Sibling abuse is real and a lot of it gets put off as "sibling rivalry". I mean I feel like if someone is your family member you shouldn't allowed to treat them like shit in the name of rivalry

 

[Intotheflames]

Honestly, I don't really jealous of those people since I don't know what it's like. You can't miss what you don't know.

To me it makes more sense to be in a chaotic environment than a calm environment, I'd always anticipate the fall out. When I was a kid my parents would fight a lot for money, and more often than not they would take it out on me. One moment I was on my bed sleeping, next moment I got dragged out and got shouted it's all my fault that I shouldn't even exist. A seemingly normal breakfast would end up with coffee thrown on me and got slapped. I got kicked out in winter time and my neighbor took me in but I always felt weird about them being nice to me, instead of feeling comfort, I felt ashamed.

 

[Water-Lily]

Honestly, I don't really jealous of those people since I don't know what it's like. You can't miss what you don't know.

To me it makes more sense to be in a chaotic environment than a calm environment, I'd always anticipate the fall out. When I was a kid my parents would fight a lot for money, and more often than not they would take it out on me. One moment I was on my bed sleeping, next moment I got dragged out and got shouted it's all my fault that I shouldn't even exist. A seemingly normal breakfast would end up with coffee thrown on me and got slapped. I got kicked out in winter time and my neighbor took me in but I always felt weird about them being nice to me, instead of feeling comfort, I felt ashamed.

Oh my god. You did not deserve that abuse at all. The fact that they chose to blame you shows how immature they were. My mom w0ld dissimilar things to me as well

Your first part is interesting. I don't know what it's like to have healthy family/childhood. So its like being jealous of a fantasy. Though I figure those with a good family are better off with those who came from a bad family. At least they can say "life sucks but I have my family" not "life sucks and I have no one"

 

[Them]

Something has to change, somehow abusive parents escape the punishment and this shit continues on and on. Think about how many more victims there will be in the future. For how long people will let retards run the world? I think everyone can see how much unnecessary suffering there is.

 

[demuic]

Something has to change, somehow abusive parents escape the punishment and this shit continues on and on. Think about how many more victims there will be in the future. For how long people will let retards run the world? I think everyone can see how much unnecessary suffering there is.

Yes it is definitely sick how much abuse is allowed to happen in the world.

Even those organizations that are supposed to help do not end up helping as much as they could.

 

[WornOutLife]

Sometimes, envy, jealousy, hatred and any kind of negative emotion are inevitable.

I'm sorry to hear you've had a harsh childhood.

When I was a child (and even now), I suffered a lot because of my mother. She has schizophrenia and becomes a monster from time to time.

 

[Southwinds]

My mother was horribly abusive. I could never do anything right she would call me horrid names as early as 6 years old. She convinced me I was a bitch and retarded, beat me with belt buckles to where I have scars, pushed me down stairs, and just always teared me down psychologically. And whenever I told anyone she got a pass cause "shes a mom who loves me and is just stressed". When I connect with people who had good childhoods there comes a shade over me. I cant feel happy for them. I feel jealous. they got what I can never relate to you and it makes me want to give up on life all together our of jealousy and shame. Knowing my life cant ever be normal like their own.

Yes I understand. Though it was not physical abuse, it was mind games. Basic message growing up: You are bad, never good enough and you don't belong and you will never be good enough.----- 60 years old and feelings of worthlessness still haunt me. Getting serious about ending it, those demons never rest.. Fuck it...just tired of it all.

 

[Water-Lily]

Thank you all for sharing your stories. I am sorry that we all suffered, but at least we have each other. I hope my ranting was able to help someone heal.

 

[Canon1]

Never be jealous of others. Everybody cares their problems.

 

[NeverSatisfied]

Wow, you post so many relatable threads. I'd always have dinners or sleepovers at my friend's houses because it seemed known to everyone in my family that the tension in a house where kids were abused is palpable. I remember going over to my friends' houses and thinking "wow, they hide the abuse so well here." ...Nope some families are just like that *shrugs*

I always felt weird about them being nice to me, instead of feeling comfort, I felt ashamed.

This 100% ^ Now whenever someone's nice to me or shows a little kindness I get suspicious, feel ashamed or can't accept it. It's ruined a lot of relationships I build with people especially when they start to get really strong I get scared (both friendships and relationships w/ a wink)

 

[Water-Lily]

Wow, you post so many relatable threads. I'd always have dinners or sleepovers at my friend's houses because it seemed known to everyone in my family that the tension in a house where kids were abused is palpable. I remember going over to my friends' houses and thinking "wow, they hide the abuse so well here." ...Nope some families are just like that *shrugs*


This 100% ^ Now whenever someone's nice to me or shows a little kindness I get suspicious, feel ashamed or can't accept it. It's ruined a lot of relationships I build with people especially when they start to get really strong I get scared (both friendships and relationships w/ a wink)

I am like this. For me my mom would act nice, and then slowly act manipulative. The niceness was never genuine, at least sometimes. But most times it was used to harm me, and so when people re nice I just block them out

Still, some people have good homes overall and I really wish I had their life

 

[Kramer]

Me too. I developed a lot of issues from my abuse that have impacted every possible relationship. Women don't like men with extreme anxiety. It reeks of insecurity