bed
CTBed
- Aug 24, 2019
- 918
I've tried therapy, I've tried meds, I've tried so many different things and nothing has helped. Everything just got worse. I don't even know who I am. My life doesn't feel like mine, I'm not really sure when it last did. I've just kept holding on, mainly due to SI but there was always a little sliver of maybe I'll get better. Chronic pain really took that all away from me and I started just living for other people but I just can't do this anymore and even at this point if I didn't have chronic pain I don't think I'd want to live. It's taken everything from me.
I don't think any of this really matters though, life has always felt devoid of meaning. Pointless suffering for no real gain. Nothing in life is worth staying around for. I've just prolonged my suffering and the feeling has become more intense as the years and failed attempts have passed. I am broken. I am not me. I am a ghost in a body who never truly got to live.
My time here will hopefully soon be gone.
I don't think any of this really matters though, life has always felt devoid of meaning. Pointless suffering for no real gain. Nothing in life is worth staying around for. I've just prolonged my suffering and the feeling has become more intense as the years and failed attempts have passed. I am broken. I am not me. I am a ghost in a body who never truly got to live.
My time here will hopefully soon be gone.