dopaminenthusiast
i dream of dying in my dreams
- May 4, 2024
- 29
I've never experienced the survival instinct before whenever I've tried to hurt myself or had failed suicide attempts, and now that i think of it, it might be because deep inside i never really think of dying. I've tried, yes, but I don't think I really thought it would work, it was more like a desperate moment where i would take all the pills i had and think "well, if it works it's great but if not then it will be enough to silence my brain for a while".
now it's different because I'm really committed to do it and not to fail, I've chosen my method already (Sn) and i started to prepare it now, because i never really heard of it and didn't know where to buy it (and how much it costs). Anyways, i didn't think it's so easy to get here where i live, I could buy tons of it just with a few thousand pesos (around 13k, which is really cheap). anyways, it feels so real now that i'm starting to feel very very anxious, which i think it's a common reaction and more if you think everything i do in my life makes me anxious. i just wanted to vent this out and maybe read some of your opinions on how to deal with the SI?? do you also feel anxious??
now it's different because I'm really committed to do it and not to fail, I've chosen my method already (Sn) and i started to prepare it now, because i never really heard of it and didn't know where to buy it (and how much it costs). Anyways, i didn't think it's so easy to get here where i live, I could buy tons of it just with a few thousand pesos (around 13k, which is really cheap). anyways, it feels so real now that i'm starting to feel very very anxious, which i think it's a common reaction and more if you think everything i do in my life makes me anxious. i just wanted to vent this out and maybe read some of your opinions on how to deal with the SI?? do you also feel anxious??
