I know the feeling. I lost my best friend although a better way of putting it is that we were sisters for each other. I remember the date, 6th of September 2010. It was induction day, our class was in a lab. The lady that was going to be our teacher for the next 5 years told us to sit in alphabetical order of our last names, those would be our seats for the next few years. We had to go around the room and tell the class our name and one fact about ourselves. I was an idiot, I said I loved this chicken and chips shop since I didn't know what to say, my social anxiety was so bad and I couldn't even talk. After that, everyone was talking to the people next to them. She was in the very first seat of the first row, all the way to the right side of the classroom from where I was sitting and I was in the third row just almost near the left side of the classroom. Everyone was chatting with each other and I remember feeling horrible because the girl next to me was busy talking to the other girls around her. I sat there in silence, feeling absolutely terrible. I remember the moment when she turned around to look at all of the class sitting behind her, our eyes looked at each other's for a moment, a short moment. Even though there was some distance between us and there was a line of students sitting in the row between us. We saw each other for a second, she smiled and I smiled back. I don't think I can ever forget that moment. Only throughout the years after that, I began to see that a beautiful friendship was growing.
I was a wimp, an ugly wimp. She thought she was ugly too. Despite that, she was loud but I was quiet. People bullied me for a small amount of facial hair I had and they would talk about her having a big nose. I still remember everything, all of the moments we had together. I know for a fact that nobody would've wanted to know me if they saw how I was 9 years ago, it just shows fake everyone is. Yet, she was there for me as we flourished together. Nobody liked me and I didn't know why. Anyway, after being together for 8 years, she betrayed me and ruined my life whilst choosing her older boyfriend over me. Now, she's doing fine without me. I suppressed all my feelings, all I feel is anger. All I wanted was for her to suffer for what she did to me but in fact, deep down, I feel the pain and sadness of her betraying and leaving me for him. I remember in college, I even told her that if I had to choose between a guy and her, I would choose her. That's how strong our sisterhood was, she said she would do the same for me. And now, I know I didn't mean anything to her.
We couldn't be without each other. Even though we had friends come into our lives then leave whilst being together, the bond we had was so strong. No one could separate us until he came into the picture. I didn't know that I was slowly losing that girl I knew. I think of the life we had together, now it seems like it was merely a dream. I was a loser but we had each other and now, she's gone. The girl I knew is gone and all I can think is what did I ever do to make her do this to me?
