I've just texted a bully ex classmate

[blue_muse]

Very noble of you to draw a line in the sand like that .

 

[Isisnefert]

Actualizar:

Oh chicos, sois los mejores, muchas gracias por vuestros comentarios, opiniones y consejos! Esto es lo que hice:

Esperé hasta esta mañana para estar sobrio y tranquilo y después de pensar profundamente, llegué a la conclusión de que anoche, solo necesitaba desahogarme, y ese tipo parece haber cambiado, así que no puedo hacer nada más que esperar que esté realmente feliz. con su familia.

Por lo tanto, le dije que me alegraba saber que se arrepintió de lo que hizo y que también me alegra saber que tiene una familia que cuidar. Le deseé lo mejor y me despedí.

Unos minutos más tarde, (parece que realmente estaba esperando mi respuesta jajaja), respondió esto:

"Muchas gracias, Matt. Realmente me das tranquilidad. Deberíamos reunirnos y tomar unas copas algún día. ¡Que tengas un buen día!"


*******El final de la historia.*******


No puedo cambiar esos días infernales, pero se siente bien saber que un matón se convirtió en un ser humano normal. No creo que estuviera fingiendo.

De todos modos, creo que la gente se merece una segunda oportunidad.


¡Gracias a todos por ser tan amables! :)

Just I can say you that I have been living until very recently with hatred and resentment, and I have not reset until I left.

 

[Thanatonaut]

School years don't mean shit. I grew up getting my head stuck in toilets and getting jammed into lockers. The kids that did that shit to me work at Jiffy Lube now or some loser ass shit, and I joined the military, learned Arabic, and literally took out quite a few bad guys.

 

[noname223]

You have balls to do that. I would be scared that they laugh about my current situation and what they did to me. But maybe that is my normal paranoia...

 

[WornOutLife]

You have balls to do that. I would be scared that they laugh about my current situation and what they did to me. But maybe that is my normal paranoia...

I was so angry that I didn't even consider that!
It could've happened and I would've got really mad! lol

 

[blue_muse]

You're the bigger person still, some people in your shoes would revert back to their school age and seek revenge.

 

[HarpoMarx]

If a person was bullied so much as a kid that they ended up on sanctioned-suicide.net, they should probably stay away from their abusers. Finding out that the turd who tortured me is now a wonderful, well-adjusted man would just make my blood boil with rage because he largely contributed to my struggling with suicidality & he can never change that fact. I wish him nothing but the kind of physical & psychological pain that I'm in

I dont know OP enough as to assume he ended up in this forum because of this abuser.

Im sorry but I dont share your opinion, nor your feeling.

Update:

Oh guys, you're the best.Thank you very much for your comments, opinions and advice! This is what I did:

I waited until this morning so as to be sober and calmer and after thinking deeply, I came to the conclusion that last night, I just needed to vent, and that guy seems to have changed so, I can do nothing but hope he's really happy with his family.

Thus, I told him that I was glad to know he regretted what he did and also glad to know he has a family to take care of. I wished him the best and said goodbye.

Some minutes later, (it seems he was really waiting for my reply lol), he answered this:

"Thank you very much, Matt. You really give me peace of mind. We should get together and have some drinks some day. Have a nice day!"


*******End of the story.*******


I can't change those gone hellish days but it feels good knowing a bully turned into a normal human being. I don't think he was pretending.

Anyway, I think people deserve a second chance.


Thank you all for being so nice! :)

Te aplaudo hermano! Me gustó mucho como acaba tu historia y te admiro. Yo intenté lo mismo y no me salió tan bien :).

I believe these kind of decisions we choose to take, make us feel better at the end of the day, regardless of the final result.

Big hug.

 

[motel rooms]

I dont know OP enough as to assume he ended up in this forum because of this abuser.

Im sorry but I dont share your opinion, nor your feeling.

I wasn't referring to OP. No need to be sorry. You're entitled to your opinions & feelings

 

[bea1974]

If he's truly sorry and feeling guilty for what he did I'd like to ask him how he plans to make amends - large/regular donations to anti-bullying charities? Spending his spare time in unpaid youth work? Whatever you can think of.

I wouldn't demand anything outright but guilt trip and manipulate him into it (and make sure you get proof!). Gently pushing him to do more and more.

It won't help you or your old school friends but it could really help some people who are at school now.

Thank you so much for your answer, dear.
I really hate him because of what he did but... he seems such a different person now that I don't know what to do. He has even admitted he regrets what he did.

Should I tell him to go to hell? Should I forgive him? Damn, I need some more drinks haha.

Still, I had some ex classmates who were really bullied by people like him and that only makes me hate him more. I can't believe there were (or are) people so mean like him around in this world.

Is it for you to forgive him or not, though, or is that reserved for those who he bullied? Just a thought.

 

[TooConscious]

Kiss the burlies!!

 

[Life_and_Death]

i think this is up to you. i can only speak from my experience and i wouldnt forgive those that hurt me. of course there was no way they couldnt have known what they were doing and idc how much they might have 'changed' my trust for them is gone and ill spit on their grave for the way i have to live now because of them.

your situation......idk part of me feels a little softer towards it of course im not the one there and im not you, you seem kinder and more likely to forgive then me. ill be honest i know what i am, of course they hurt me. different situations is all i guess.

I feel that I should add:

I personally feel that the society should give people the chance to reform and forgive them or else they never will. However those that were directly affected should have a choice, pain doesn't magically just go away and its hard to forgive that.

My response that day was very personal however this is how I overall feel on the subject

 

[Rolliewoo]

I think take the apology, you don't have to forgive the arsehole but equally you can release some of the hatred you held in your head/heart toward him. You'll be a lighter happier soul for it.....I promise you :) Plus I try to remind myself that people fuck up....kids are no exception....and people DO change.

Ace post Matt,y ou rocked that and kicked his ass big time

 

[RainAndSadness]

I feel you. Bullies deserve the worst and belong into the

 

[WornOutLife]

I feel you. Bullies deserve the worst and belong into the


View attachment 67480

You can't imagine how much I fantasized about having a death note as soon as I watched that anime lol.

 

[Isisnefert]

No puedes imaginar cuánto fantaseé con tener una nota de muerte tan pronto como vi ese anim jajaja

Everyone

 

[passenger520]

This is a great story OP; thank you very much for sharing...and much respect to you for opening your heart to forgive.

They say there is a peace born out of forgiveness and I hope you are experiencing it.

Cheers.

 

[Largeletters]

I've considered doing that to my bullies from years ago, but why bother, they only see themselves as the victims. They probably don't remember the verbal and physical abuse they did to me. Maybe when I CTB, they can have some sort of acknowledgement. Fuck those stupid bitches.

 

[Canon1]

Forget about the past. People were childish and behaved simply like egotistical assholes. You can't change that neither do such messages help you, except that you might see that this person has changed. Anyway, people from my past aren't interesting to me.

 

[Cherry Crumpet]

The nastiest, most horrible bullies to me in middle school all now have successful lives, families and children.

It's a God Damn hoot, isn't it?

 

[Roseate]

Edit: I found this guy on Facebook because I know his fullname and well, he was just there...


I'm drunk AF and I started to remember my past so, I was like..."damn, school really sucked so, what about texting some ex high school classmates?"
and.... I DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My message was basically this: "Hello, XXXX, Do you remember me? I'm Matt XXX, you used be one of my classmates in high school. I hope your life is okay but lemme ask you something.... DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT A MOTHERFUCKER YOU WERE? I mean, you used to be a bully! You asked innocent guys for money, homework, etc. However, you could never do that to me because you knew I would KICK YOUR ASS immediately! I mean, do you regret any of your actions? Do you relize how mean you were? It's been over 10 years and I still remember what a dick you were...."

Here's his answer:


"Hello Matt XXXX, well....I wasn't expecting your message. I mean, not like this.
Now, I have 2 children. One boy and a girl. I'm really working overtime so as to provide my family. My life is quite hard so... I'll just tell you this:
When I was younger, I never realized what an asshole I was. I mean, reading your message made me feel like scum. I can't believe I was like that but when I remember those days, you're right. I was the worst and my friends were the same.
i guess we were too immature.
Please, I'm really sorry. I never meant to be like that. You can talk to me whenever you want and we could even be great friends now. I bet you would love to meet my family and have some beers with me.
Anyway, see you around Matt, you were always cool and protected those who were bullied by "my group of friends" and that's just amazing."

Hope to hear from you soon,

Hugs,

XXXXX


Thus, that was it!!!!!!! I dunno how to react to this!!! I mean, he seems to have changed lots but you can't imagine the hell I lived in!! I was not physically bullied but I was really alone and always trying to protect people like me. It was a nightmare. He seems to be a nice and normal guy now... I just can't believe it.


What would you do? I guess I should just...forgive him...

I doubt he's changed. Assholes like that get to live a normal life. It isn't fair. But this fucking life is the furthest thing from fair. Being an asshole for no reason at all other than the fact that he was dealt a good hand isn't what I consider immature but like i said assholes like that douche always get to live a fairly normal life. His life is average at most, not close to being hard as he seems to think. But hey oh well.

 

[lofticries]

I think bullies(unless they're a sociopath) can change but they have to be put through the same hell they put the people they bullied. If they go through life like a breeze they will not change at all because they will never experience what it feels like to be made miserable by someone else. This especially sucks when they decide to breed because you just know they're gonna pass on their shitty behavior to their kids. Or in some cases be their kid's personal bully. Both scenarios are really sad and just repeat the cycle of suffering.

 

[Weary Soul]

Heya Mat,

You are such a kind person.

On the surface it looks like he may have grown up quite a bit and realized the damage he caused.

Kids often act out because they are treated the same way at home; they may be bullies because in their young minds if they are not a bully then that means they are a victim (very black and white thinking pattern there); and sometimes they are just an a**hole.

My thoughts? Maybe give the person a chance - it may just give you closure (and him as well). Sometimes kids do terrible things and regret it (at least the one's with a conscious do); However, if you go this route, keep an eye on your back, cause you never know if they are being honest. Can you tell I have serious trust issues? :)

Alla that being said, when I was in third grade (around 9 or so), there was one girl who used to bully me relentlessly. Her treatment of me has impacted me and how I feel about myself to this day (I have given her wayyyy to much power over me). So it IS a hard call.

Most importantly? In this situation, I would say do you. Do what feels right to you and is best to help you heal from the trauma this person caused, and don't look back.

<3