Evereigh
New Member
- Jul 11, 2023
- 2
I've been in a terribly depressing situationship for the last two years. In that time I've tried to die 5 times. Was caught trying to jump off a 10 story car garage, caught trying to gas myself in my car, and then sent to the ward where I then lost my job. The man I've spent so much time, energy, and love on told me today how we're just roommates. This is after I've discovered multiple instances of lying, cheating, and sneaking around behind my back. He tells me he lies because he's afraid I'll kill myself. Honestly it's warranted..
The final straw came when I broke into his safe and found more evidence of his lies and cheating. I'm currently recovering from a major sinus surgery, but I honestly don't really know if I even want to recover at this point. I've only had two other partners. One that was married and didn't actually tell me he wasn't looking to leave his wife until after two years in. The other only gave me a title to shut me up and then dumped me on my 19th
Birthday.
Both my parents are dead. (Suicides)
I have HORRIBLE mental health. (BPD, PTSD, Severe anxiety and depression, and at one point I was even Bipolar 2.)
Im turning 30 this year and nothing about being alive has ever been enjoyable. There's literally no reason for me to stay here any longer. My upbringing was traumatic. Basic needs like being fed were not met consistently throughout my childhood and into adulthood I struggle with basic things like eating regularly. I wish he had left a gun in the safe so I could have ended my suffering. It feels like nothing is ever worth it.
The final straw came when I broke into his safe and found more evidence of his lies and cheating. I'm currently recovering from a major sinus surgery, but I honestly don't really know if I even want to recover at this point. I've only had two other partners. One that was married and didn't actually tell me he wasn't looking to leave his wife until after two years in. The other only gave me a title to shut me up and then dumped me on my 19th
Birthday.
Both my parents are dead. (Suicides)
I have HORRIBLE mental health. (BPD, PTSD, Severe anxiety and depression, and at one point I was even Bipolar 2.)
Im turning 30 this year and nothing about being alive has ever been enjoyable. There's literally no reason for me to stay here any longer. My upbringing was traumatic. Basic needs like being fed were not met consistently throughout my childhood and into adulthood I struggle with basic things like eating regularly. I wish he had left a gun in the safe so I could have ended my suffering. It feels like nothing is ever worth it.
