Method I've figured out the sure-fire, painless way I want to off myself.

[The Burning Fool]

Disclaimer: it's weird af until it finally comes together.

I procure and prepare my tools: Olive oil, Absinthe, lighter, strong rigid rope, 10 lb steel weight plate, crowbar, rum.

I fix the rope to the weight plate. I wait until midnight. I heat up some water in a large pot, then I put the flasks containing the oil and the absinthe in the water so that they warm up to ~110°F. I start drinking the rum because it's yummy and makes me careless which feels amazing. I take off my clothes, rub the warm oil all over my body and then put my clothes back on. I fix the weight plate around my neck. I'm pretty inebriated at this point, it's around 1:30 am. I take the crowbar, the absinthe and the lighter and I sneak up to the roof of my 80 ft building. I pour the lukewarm absinthe over my feet. I light up my feet. I jump.

Btw I'm heating up the stuff to be able to ignite it more easily and I'm using olive oil because it has a low ignition temperature iiuc and it makes a layer on my skin so that my skin won't start burning until the impact. The weight pulls down on my neck and snaps my spine even if I land on my feet. My body burns to a crisp on the ground while I'm already unconscious. My death will be certainly permanent, brutally destructive and mostly painless, which is exactly what I want. That's all I care about when it comes to the way I wanna off myself.

 

[Agon321]

To be honest, this seems to be quite a complicated method. This fire is extremely dangerous. Needless to say, death by burning is not the most pleasant thing. A very dangerous method. Of course I'm not criticizing. I wish you good luck and I hope you have thought this through very carefully.

 

[The Burning Fool]

To be honest, this seems to be quite a complicated method. This fire is extremely dangerous. Needless to say, death by burning is not the most pleasant thing. A very dangerous method. Of course I'm not criticizing. I wish you good luck and I hope you have thought this through very carefully.

How is it dangerous though, aside from the obvious? Oil doesn't ignite easily from any spark or whatever. It's not like I'll burst into flames because of making a wrong move. The absinthe is applied only before the last moments.

 

[Agon321]

How is it dangerous though, aside from the obvious? Oil doesn't ignite easily from any spark or whatever. It's not like I'll burst into flames because of making a wrong move. The absinthe is applied only before the last moments.

I don't have the knowledge, that's why I'm afraid. I'm glad you thought this through and planned. I'm just speaking from my perspective. I hope you manage to do it as planned, good luck

 

[cursedcure]

that is definitely an original method. i couldn't help but laugh at the imagery. careful not to slip in the stairs when you're all oiled up getting to that roof

 

[The Burning Fool]

that is definitely an original method. i couldn't help but laugh at the imagery. careful not to slip in the stairs when you're all oiled up getting to that roof

My shoes and clothes will be clean while sneaking, in order to absorb the absinthe later. Only my skin will be covered in a layer of oil like a diving suit. :)

 

[UKscotty]

If you want an honest view, and I assume you do, this method sounds super risky and liable to failure.

Anything too complicated has too many factors that could go wrong.

 

[The Burning Fool]

If you want an honest view, and I assume you do, this method sounds super risky and liable to failure.

Anything too complicated has too many factors that could go wrong.

But I as a sapient agent can execute complex plans with reasonable precision. Please tell me what's the one thing you'd be most worried about going wrong.

 

[UKscotty]

But I as a sapient agent can execute complex plans with reasonable precision. Please tell me what's the one thing you'd be most worried about going wrong.

The whole thing to be honest, when there are more than two things in a CTB, it makes me nervous.

It's true that dying is easy, but getting to that point is literally the last resort.

May I ask why not just a simple one part method?

 

[sserafim]

Burning to death sounds super painful

 

[damyon]

This method might be a bit complicated to execute because it requires many steps, as @Agon321 noted.

I would think thoroughly if I could manage not to back off because of the SI from the pain of burning if something went wrong before with the oil step. This can be an extremely painful sensation, and you might not think clearly at that moment.



By the way, why do you need the crowbar?

 

[The Burning Fool]

This method might be a bit complicated to execute because it requires many steps, as @Agon321 noted.

I would think thoroughly if I could manage not to back off because of the SI from the pain of burning if something went wrong before with the oil step. This can be an extremely painful sensation, and you might not think clearly at that moment.



By the way, why do you need the crowbar?

Going grocery shopping and then cooking a meal also sounds complicated when I describe it in detail. It doesn't mean the plan will fail. Crowbar needed to clear any obstacles and scare away any wannabe heroes that might be lurking up there. Anyway, do you think that the absinthe burning on my shoes and calf would be so painful in a second that I lost my ability to jump? All of this sounds so silly to me.

The whole thing to be honest, when there are more than two things in a CTB, it makes me nervous.

It's true that dying is easy, but getting to that point is literally the last resort.

May I ask why not just a simple one part method?

No simple one part method exists that guarantees my final death. They all have worse chances of success while being just as complicated and dangerous. Except shotguns, grenades and the like which I don't even dare dream about getting my hands on.

 

[DandiFynalicious]

My method is similar.

Opiates, insulin, a long chain, and a bridge.