I've decided to postpone

[AlternativeBagel]

In a few days from now I have a flight home outside the country. My initial plan was to take everything I own and start giving away my stuff to friends and make up some excuse as to why I don't need them anymore. Then that upgraded to "I might as well use my credit lines." So I did. Ended up buying several thousands worth of stuff to also just give away before I ctb. Then I thought "wait why do all this just to kill yourself?" So then I decided that I'll stick around for at least a few more months. Probably until the end of the year. I'm gonna enjoy my hometown for a while. See friends again, use all this shit I bought, etc etc. Then when all the dopamine wears off again and I become insatiably bored and distractions don't work again, that's when I'll give up. Suicide has always been inevitable for me and I accept that, but it doesn't mean that it has to be anytime soon.