Help I’ve been trying so hard to not remain suicidal

[JayJay]

Honestly my living situation kind of sucks right now. I'm living with roommates and one of them is constantly waking me up at night every single day at 12:00 am because she gets home from work and slams the doors. I usually wake up around 11:00am or at noon. I try to wake up early but I just can't because I feel so tired and fatigued. When I am waking up, I've been having bizarre dreams and have this feeling that not enough oxygen is going to certain parts of my brain. I also have been having chronic migraines, fatigue, and dizziness. I went to the doctor and had multiple ER visits with no results. I honestly feel like someone is deliberately trying to poison me here in my house. I noticed a sweet smell from distilled water I used for my CPAP machine. Water is not supposed to have a smell. I don't feel safe. I feel like I have permanent brain damage. The only thing that seems comforting now is my death. I don't have a job a right now and I barely make rent by doing gig work. I want to move in with my parents but they won't let me. I can't move out right now because I need enough money for a security deposit to rent another room. I just feel like I might need to CTB this year. I'm tired of this sick joke called life.

 

[grapevoid]

Honestly my living situation kind of sucks right now. I'm living with roommates and one of them is constantly waking me up at night every single day at 12:00 am because she gets home from work and slams the doors. I usually wake up around 11:00am or at noon. I try to wake up early but I just can't because I feel so tired and fatigued. When I am waking up, I've been having bizarre dreams and have this feeling that not enough oxygen is going to certain parts of my brain. I also have been having chronic migraines, fatigue, and dizziness. I went to the doctor and had multiple ER visits with no results. I honestly feel like someone is deliberately trying to poison me here in my house. I noticed a sweet smell from distilled water I used for my CPAP machine. Water is not supposed to have a smell. I don't feel safe. I feel like I have permanent brain damage. The only thing that seems comforting now is my death. I don't have a job a right now and I barely make rent by doing gig work. I want to move in with my parents but they won't let me. I can't move out right now because I need enough money for a security deposit to rent another room. I just feel like I might need to CTB this year. I'm tired of this sick joke called life.

do you have sleep apnea? Just wondering about the cpap machine.

Did they check your vitamin levels at any of your doctor appts?