I've been lonely my entire life. I'm starting to believe that something is fundamentally wrong with me.

[adoringmydarling]

I've always found it so incredibly hard to find friends. It always felt that everyone else had a code that I didn't understand. I've been in college for three years and I don't have a single friend. It's so easy for everyone else and I feel something intrinsically is wrong with me that turns people off.

I've only had one true friend and we don't talk consistently since we both went to college. My love life is a disaster and I feel that I will never find a girlfriend (I'm a lesbian)

 

[VoidedExistence]

same here, i also have only one friend with whom i dont talk much because i have no life and am socially inept and he has many many other people and friends., i never really had long term friends ever. my current friend just adopted me in high school as his best friend. dont even get me started on love life, never have touched a girl. i have went through a lot of teasing and bullying and a possibly traumatic event, maybe thats why i kept myself away from people and always stayed alone in my cave.

 

[adoringmydarling]

same here, i also have only one friend with whom i dont talk much because i have no life and am socially inept and he has many many other people and friends., i never really had long term friends ever. my current friend just adopted me in high school as his best friend. dont even get me started on love life, never have touched a girl. i have went through a lot of teasing and bullying and a possibly traumatic event, maybe thats why i kept myself away from people and always stayed alone in my cave.

I'm also in the "never touched a girl romantically" camp. To be honest, the only reason I haven't killed myself is because I at least want to kiss a woman before I die. Preferably, I would also lose my virginity but I don't feel that will ever happen to me at this point.

 

[Sleeper System]

I know how to build connections with people.
Just don't think its worth the effort or burden.
I've come to terms with being alone.
We live in a time where there is enough distraction
to last 100 life cycles.

You can always pay for companionship.
Sex surrogates is a thing for people with "challenges"
when it comes to intimacy.

 

[UserHussein]

I used to be in this situation, have you tried joining clubs?

I don't mean to offend you, but you may have Autism. I myself wasn't diagnosed with the disorder until I was 21.

But that did at least explain my social malfunctions.

 

[adoringmydarling]

I used to be in this situation, have you tried joining clubs.

I don't mean to offend you, but you may have Autism. I myself wasn't diagnosed with the disorder until I was 21.

But that did at least explain my social malfunctions.

Tbh I might have it but I don't see the point of getting diagnosed. It's not like ADHD where there are meds and other therapies available.

 

[AllAlone]

Perhaps you have avoidant personality disorder. It is what I have. Basically I have an innate feeling of being less than others and have a fear of rejection. I feel like people naturally don't like me and that if I try to talk to them and be friends they will be annoyed and will reject me. So to prevent this from happening I reject everyone first. Im afraid of being viewed as a pathetic friendless loser so i act like I want to be alone to protect my ego. I will never start a conversation or do anything to try and be friends with someone becuase I feel like I am bothering them. But this just makes me look like an arrogant asshole to other people.

I want someone to connect with on a deeper level, but the thought of someone seeing who I truly am terrifies me. I want relationships but I am also afraid of them. My brain is just broken and there is nothing I can do.

 

[achb]

It always sucks to see posts like this. So many lonely people on this site. I wish we could all just meet up and become friends (as unrealistic as that is in most cases).

Especially us queer girls finding a gf here may not be the best idea but LORD for some reason I want so badly to be intimate with a woman before I die. Never understood those don't-want-to-die-a-virgin posts til one day it clicked and I did.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

From my experience, college

I used to be in this situation, have you tried joining clubs?

I don't mean to offend you, but you may have Autism. I myself wasn't diagnosed with the disorder until I was 21.

But that did at least explain my social malfunctions.

Clubs is definitely the way. Especially at bigger schools. Academic presence by itself doesn't invite enough socially interactive opportunites, because everyone is so focused during class time.

I actually found that work is the place most likely to cure loneliness. So long as it is a workplace that where constant communication is a neccessity. Like a restaurant, for example.

 

[adoringmydarling]

It always sucks to see posts like this. So many lonely people on this site. I wish we could all just meet up and become friends (as unrealistic as that is in most cases).

Especially us queer girls finding a gf here may not be the best idea but LORD for some reason I want so badly to be intimate with a woman before I die. Never understood those don't-want-to-die-a-virgin posts til one day it clicked and I did.

I'm glad someone else can relate to this

I think the problem is I just desperately want someone I like to desire me sexually. I spent so many years hating myself for my sexuality and I feel like not going out without doing it is kind of letting the homophobes win

 

[achb]

From my experience, college

Clubs is definitely the way. Especially at bigger schools. Academic presence by itself doesn't invite enough socially interactive opportunites, because everyone is so focused during class time.

I actually found that work is the place most likely to cure loneliness. So long as it is a workplace that where constant communication is a neccessity. Like a restaurant, for example.

I have such a different experience. I never get close to people I'm "friends" with in the workplace. Or clubs, tho I imagine it can work better there. Maybe because it ends up feeling like an unnatural revenue to form connections (there's a level of "we should get along because we have to" that's present). Plus after work and clubs I'm so socially exhausted.

I find most of my friends through classes or randomly. Though I'm not that close to any of them T-T. I just find someone who looks lonely and suitable and strike up conversation. Doesn't usually take long to determine if we seem like we can be friends.

 

[underthedatetree]

I have felt similarly in my life as well, always been a loner mostly. but I once had a few friends in ms to hs but looking back I was a pretty bad friend. in that I didn't even know them by the end of it, just "used" them to talk about nerd shit we were hyperfixated on at the time. In the end I cut them off like always. There were of course kids who were repelled by me and other outcasts as typical in school but plenty who were kind and who reached out for friendship. But at the end I pushed them away every time. They didn't do anything wrong. I just stopped wanting to be around them. It's upsetting to not know what is wrong with you. Maybe schizoid pd. But I'm no doctor.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I relate to the title. I never made an irl friend during my entire life. There definitely are lots of things that are fundamentally wrong with me as it should be impossible to be lonely to the magnitude that I currently am. I hate that I'm like this

 

[UserHussein]

I relate to the title. I never made an irl friend during my entire life. There definitely are lots of things that are fundamentally wrong with me as it should be impossible to be lonely to the magnitude that I currently am. I hate that I'm like this

I'm sure someone here can be your friend.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm sure someone here can be your friend.

No, that's impossible. When I vent about me not having friends, I'm not secretly wanting friends or anything. I'm just venting. At this point, I'm too far gone to where I can't handle conversations anymore. I should have made a friend during childhood but now it's too late

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I have such a different experience. I never get close to people I'm "friends" with in the workplace. Or clubs, tho I imagine it can work better there. Maybe because it ends up feeling like an unnatural revenue to form connections (there's a level of "we should get along because we have to" that's present). Plus after work and clubs I'm so socially exhausted.

I find most of my friends through classes or randomly. Though I'm not that close to any of them T-T. I just find someone who looks lonely and suitable and strike up conversation. Doesn't usually take long to determine if we seem like we can be friends.

I feel ya. My experience may differ from yours because I'm 44 years old, and things were so much different back then. Life before the internet was so much different. I feel like it has changed the way peope act towards one another in person. It seems like people don't communicate so easily these days.

 

[Pikmin]

There is nothing wrong with you, there's a problem with society. Some people slip through the cracks, and there's no sufficient thought or care for these people to be supported and cared for by society.

 

[Pluto]

I think the 'code' is being on the right track from early childhood. Things like support in being socialised, no abuse, a healthy environment, etc.

There is still a way through, but it requires a lot of effort at many levels. I say that as an older person who still hasn't managed to break free of the curse.