I’ve been logged into SS for over 5 hours now….

[takemenowpls]

Since I woke up I've been on this forum looking through posts and trying to nail down a good method. I was leaning towards hanging but SN is starting to sound more like my way to go. Just have to put the work in to get the anti-nausea meds… but I've literally spent the whole day on this site. No life and just want to end mine. Anyone else "live" here hoping to see something that helps you?

 

[nopride86]

I'm on here pretty much every day for most of my workday. For some reason it's a comfort, maybe a distraction, but it's so much better than just sitting at my desk alone.

I don't chime in too much, I don't think, but I do feel like I'm in purgatory here sometimes. Like if I just keep checking enough I'll find one little comment that provides the exact ticket for my destination. Until then, it's just log in, scroll, log out, repeat daily.

 

[takemenowpls]

Yup, same here, but instead of work I'm trapped in an empty house. And it's sad the more desperate I get the more other methods seem less scary and more acceptable.

 

[FuneralCry]

There really is so many threads and method information on here. I do think that if there was something on here that actually helped me to ctb, I would already be gone. Ctb is difficult for me personally.

I just wish that euthanasia is legalised for us all and then none of us would need to do any complicated method research. There would be no need for suicide forums in the first place. If only this website had the answer to the easy painless ctb with no resources, but no such thing exists. I think that on this website I learned how difficult suicide really is. I just hate how it's hard to die.

 

[hamvil]

I just joined so I think it is normal that I am spending several hours per day checking the forum. I have found some relief and in general I have the feeling for the first time that I am talking with people that understand at least a bit of what is going on in my cloudy mind. English makes it a bit harder because is not my first language and I sometimes struggle to convey a message.

I am trying to contribute a little bit by answering and interacting because I saw how nice it is when I receive a reaction so I wanna try to return the favour even if I am not very good with words in general. In the long term I hope this forum will give me the courage to take my step and finally leave this shitty world. I am scared but also hopeful.

 

[catflowers]

i am done with this forum nobody talks to me and it is like why am i still on here when my life is fucking terrible

 

[takemenowpls]

I too feel I am in good company. No one here judges you for wanting to ctb. Instead there is honest and helpful information from others who have the same thoughts and desires. That's why I didn't say I wasted my time. You all mean a lot to me.

 

[annique]

i am done with this forum nobody talks to me and it is like why am i still on here when my life is fucking terrible

hey you can talk to me if you so want to, just send me a message, i'll listen to you

 

[takemenowpls]

i am done with this forum nobody talks to me and it is like why am i still on here when my life is fucking terrible

I'm happy to talk with you. Just shoot me a PM

 

[catflowers]

hey you can talk to me if you so want to, just send me a message, i'll listen to you

you'll listen but nobody fucking talks dude i am like fed up with people dude only way i will be happy is when i am dead

 

[takemenowpls]

I get it. You sound angry and for good reason I'm sure. You also mention leaving which we know isn't easy, not at all. And that can definitely make us more angry. No one judges you for that

 

[Teddybear]

Since I woke up I've been on this forum looking through posts and trying to nail down a good method. I was leaning towards hanging but SN is starting to sound more like my way to go. Just have to put the work in to get the anti-nausea meds… but I've literally spent the whole day on this site. No life and just want to end mine. Anyone else "live" here hoping to see something that helps you?

Asking if someone is "live" in a suicide forum has a funny tone to it. :D

In any case, no need to rush death. That dude goes nowhere w/o you.

And the meaning of "help" depends on what you're looking for. Plenty of advice here on death and dying, but also a little on getting better and living to die another day.

The one thing you won't find here is judgement or moral prejudice. So take your time, ask your questions and take a break whenever you feel like it.

That stone faced grim reaper has all the patience in the Universe. He knows he'll get you eventually. So you can afford to be patient, too.

i am done with this forum nobody talks to me and it is like why am i still on here when my life is fucking terrible

Hey, I'll talk to you if it keeps you around for another day. Misery likes company and I feel *extremly* miserable right now.

 

[hamvil]

i am done with this forum nobody talks to me and it is like why am i still on here when my life is fucking terrible

I will be happy to talk with you if you want. Feel free to PM me if you want. I will try to make it as much bidirectional as possible.

 

[takemenowpls]

help staying alive isn't what I meant but I appreciate the offer. I'm not really in a hurry to die but I would like to have a good method locked down with everything ready to go. I once got comfort from thinking pills (benzos) would end my life. Now I feel like a dumb ass after joining SS and reading. But you live (unfortunately) and learn.

 

[rationaltake]

you'll listen but nobody fucking talks dude i am like fed up with people dude only way i will be happy is when i am dead

Do you want to tell us more about why you want to be dead?

 

[catflowers]

Do you want to tell us more about why you want to be dead?

sure. the earth is clogged with people 7.8 billion humanity does not end with me. a few people would be sad but my main worry is that my people don't understand that sure one person dead they will just be forgotten about with time

 

[rationaltake]

sure. the earth is clogged with people 7.8 billion humanity does not end with me. a few people would be sad but my main worry is that my people don't understand that sure one person dead they will just be forgotten about with time

We'll all be forgotten about with time. So some people who know you will be sad you're gone?

 

[Teddybear]

sure. the earth is clogged with people 7.8 billion humanity does not end with me. a few people would be sad but my main worry is that my people don't understand that sure one person dead they will just be forgotten about with time

Unless you're a Caesar or an Einstein every single one of us will be forgotten within less than a generation, once we're dead & buried.

Its nothing personal, just fate.

 

[catflowers]

We'll all be forgotten about with time. So some people who know you will be sad you're gone?

Yeah my family but other than that nobody gives a fuck
i have a lot of detractors
there is just a lot of shitty people out there

 

[rationaltake]

Yeah my family but other than that nobody gives a fuck
i have a lot of detractors
there is just a lot of shitty people out there

Sadly I think that's just how it is.

 

[Teddybear]

Yeah my family but other than that nobody gives a fuck
i have a lot of detractors
there is just a lot of shitty people out there

Then fuck them all. Think of ways to hurt *them* instead of yourself. And screw your "detractors". Learn to be anti-social and be proud of it!

If someone tells me what they don't like about me I tell them to go and suck a donkey's dick.

 

[rationaltake]

Since I woke up I've been on this forum looking through posts and trying to nail down a good method. I was leaning towards hanging but SN is starting to sound more like my way to go. Just have to put the work in to get the anti-nausea meds… but I've literally spent the whole day on this site. No life and just want to end mine. Anyone else "live" here hoping to see something that helps you?

I understand. It's a case of just doing the best I can when it comes to methods.

PS Sorry for derailing your thread.

 

[takemenowpls]

No worries. If anything I post helps someone or even gives them a voice I'm happy.

 

[takemenowpls]

Almost 8 hours now. Just keep refreshing the page to see new posts. Something is wrong with me. I can't wait for bed to give my brain a break. I am in such pain right now and wish I had a method nailed down

 

[Lifeaballache]

i am done with this forum nobody talks to me and it is like why am i still on here when my life is fucking terrible

Not to be rude but half the posts I've seen you write on here make no sense at all.

 

[catflowers]

Not to be rude but half the posts I've seen you write on here make no sense at all.

i just try to keep the conversation going i am somewhat schizophrenic

 

[takemenowpls]

It's ok catflowers

 

[Teddybear]

Almost 8 hours now. Just keep refreshing the page to see new posts. Something is wrong with me. I can't wait for bed to give my brain a break. I am in such pain right now and wish I had a method nailed down

Sleep is the best method to "give your brain a break". Sticking to a death thread in a suicide forum is not really helping, I guess.

I you can't fall asleep try watching a good movie or listen to relaxing music. Keep the lights low, but don't dwell in complete darkness.

Try a hot cup of chocolate or a cup of tea with honey.

i just try to keep the conversation going i am somewhat schizophrenic

I am just nuts (well, actually bi-polar but what's the difference?). So welcome to the club of unusual people. :D

 

[takemenowpls]

Thank you Teddybear. After almost 9 hours I'm going to take your advice and go watch some tv before I take my sleep meds. Just know this, your kind words really helped me tonight. You may see me still around tonight but at least I'll be in bed with a re-run on tv. Thank you for being you.

 

[Teddybear]

Thank you Teddybear. After almost 9 hours I'm going to take your advice and go watch some tv before I take my sleep meds. Just know this, your kind words really helped me tonight. You may see me still around tonight but at least I'll be in bed with a re-run on tv. Thank you for being you.

I wish you all the best, but can't promise you that you will see me here for any length of time.

Please, don't take my words of encouragement to do the same, but I am nearing the end of my road.

But I'll still be here tomorrow, so sleep well tonight.